George Lopez

Season 4 Episode 19

George's Grand Slam

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Aired Wednesday 8:00 PM Mar 08, 2005 on ABC

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  • Quotes

    • Carmen: Mom, I hope you like my poem.
      Angie: Don't worry honey, you'll be great. They all suck. (Girl with a piercing glares at her) I'm sorry you feel discriminated against by corporate society, but you can't be a teller at a bank with a door knocker in your nose!

    • George: I'm sorry that I said you have no potential, even though you've never worked hard in school or impressed me in any way.
      Carmen: Is he trying to apologize?
      Angie: It's too soon to tell, it could go either way.

    • George: I never pushed Carmen.
      Benny: George, you can't win. If you push kids and they fail, then it's your fault, and if you push kids and they succeed... actually I don't know what that's like.

    • Benny: (to George) You always had a problem with reading. You walked out of Star Wars because there were too many words at the beginning. (imitating young George) "Mommy! You fooled me. That was a moving book!"

    • Benny: College? That's just a place to get drunk and sleep with strangers.
      George: So your bedroom is a university? What's it called? U-C-Old-Lady?

    • George: Angie, even when you were homeschooling her she was late for class because 'there was traffic on the stairs!'

    • Carmen: I'm going to major in poetry in college so you can just get used to it.
      George: (laughing) College?
      Carmen: I'm going to college.
      George: Hmmm, really? So I guess all those C's you got in school stood for c-c-c-college. And that D stood for 'Damn! I was almost a C!'

    • George: What are you doing?
      Benny: I'm taking my losing lotto scratchers, painting them over with this silver nail polish, then selling them to the neighborhood kids. I took a "lose lose" and turned it into a "win win".
      George: Good, then you can go to "Hell Hell."

    • George: I'll write the poem for you! "Carmen, please don't make me beg; what I'd really like, is some chorizo and egg"!
      Kenzie: You know what Mr. Lopez, our poems don't rhyme. Because rhyme schemes are chains of bondage on free thought! Chains invented by men!
      George: (Looks uder his armpit) You know Kenzie, I'm betting you got a forest under there.

    • Carmen: What are you doing?
      George Watching the Dodger game. So go discover your dark souls in the kitchen.
      Carmen" You said we're not allowed to watch TV.
      George: This is different. This is for Jason's baseball career.
      Carmen: Well what if there was something on TV about poetry and I wanted to watch it?
      George: We watch something about poetry every year! It's called "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"!
      Carmen: What?!
      George: It rhymes!
      Jason: I like the dog with the antlers.
      George I know, it's classic. What can't you something like that?

    • Kenzie: You're just going to wait on them like that? You know they're only asking you because you're a girl. that's so sexist
      George: You know what's funny Kenzie? I ask Carmen something and sound comes out of your mouth.
      Kenzie: It is so sad. So much head and so little in it. I can hear it rattle.

    • Carmen: Things are pretty good right now.
      Kenzie: No they're not. You're Mexican. You're in pain. Your people have been raped and pillaged by the conquistadores. I am so jealous.
      George: What are you talking about? She was born in Burbank. She's got her own car and a closet full of clothes. You want to see a Mexican suffering, come back when I have to pay her cell phone bill.

    • Carmen: Birds still singing, the sun still shining, this day shall have no night. my soul is a smiley faced helium balloon. I think it's the best poem I've ever written. What do you think, Kenzie?
      Kenzie: I think if I randomly ate those words and puked them onto the page it'd be a much better poem.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

Today
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Saturday
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5:00am
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Sunday
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