George Lopez

Season 3 Episode 6

Split Decision

Aired Wednesday 8:00 PM Oct 24, 2003 on ABC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • George: (about Jack and Mel's fight) It was awful. One minute they're toasting the new contract, the next they're rolling around on the floor. Jack's powerful, but Mel's got those pointy teeth.

    • George: Enjoy the bottled water while you can. Because if I lose my job tomorrow, you'll end up drinking from the neighbor's hose.
      Angie: What did you do? What did you do?
      George: I accidentally let it slip that Mel went to Vegas to (whistles) with Jack's ex-wife. And it wasn't the first time they had (whistles).
      Angie: Its like a soap opera, but with ugly people.

    • Mel Powers: (to Jack) Do you recognize this? (making an odd face) No, you wouldn't recognize it. That's the face Janet makes when she's been satisfied.
      George: DAMN!

    • Benny: Shouldn't you be in a window in Amsterdam?
      Angie: Shouldn't you be in a medical journal with a question mark next to you?

    • (George refuses to help Benny with keeping her job)
      George: Did it ever occur to you I'd get out of the plant and maybe make some big money? Enough to afford my dream of someday buying an island?
      Angie: Is that your dream?
      George: Not for us! I'm putting her on it! Don't worry, I'll get you a volleyball to talk to.

    • Carmen: I had a greatest time with Claire's family. We went to this really fancy restaurant and they told me I could order whatever I want. I had escargot, that's snails.
      George: You know, if you want escargot, you could go to the rain gutter and suck some snails.

    • George: How much?
      Carmen: I only need the essentials so... $500.
      George: $500? esta loca?! $500!
      Carmen: Okay, then if you give me the gear, then don't buy me anything for Christmas.
      George: You're still $480 short...

    • (At Thirsty's)
      Benny: Scoot over, sad-daytime drunk!
      George: Yeah, make room for bitter-nighttime drunk!

    • Carmen: This sucks.
      George: Save that for Christmas morning when you unwrap your shampoo. Awww, I ruined her gift!

    • Carmen: Clair's family invited me to go skiing with them next weekend. I can go, right?
      George: Carmen we're Latino, we don't ski. If we're going down a mountain, it's usually because we can see San Diego in the distance.

    • Carmen: So what if I get a scholarship from Harvard? Can I accept that?
      Angie: No! You'll have to raise Max because your father and I will have died from shock!!

  • Notes

  • Allusions

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