(George and Benny say Noah is cheating on Carmen)
Benny: I know for sure that guy's a liar.
Benny: He said your cooking was delicious! What? Either he's a liar, or he's never had food before.
(George and Benny are spying on Noah as a girl approaches him)
Benny: Ding! Ding! Ding! My whore-dar's going off.
(Angie came up with pathetic examples for Noah's mysterious behavior)
Benny: (to George) You just got the green light for side action, 'cause she will never figure it out.
(Noah said Carmen is really dating Zack Powers)
George: I am going to kill Carmen!
Angie: I'm tired of you leaving me out of everything. We are going to kill Carmen.
George: So we'll still have one kid left.
Angie: Max is a good boy. He will be our future.
(Max walks out the door)
Max:(cheerfully) Well, I'm off to fail the fifth grade.
George: Come on, Angie. Last year, when I said we should go out for my mother's birthday, I meant so that she couldn't find us.
Zack: How come you never wear this tube top for me?
Carmen: That's a headband.
Zack: Alright then, put this thong on.
Carmen: That's a shoelace.
Zack: Work with me.
Angie: He's a jock, he's probably afraid to come out so he's using Carmen as a cover. I can't begin to imagine what Noah must be feeling.
Benny: I don't need to imagine, I saw what he was feeling, it was 17 and muscular...
Noah: Look, I'm really sorry about this. I mean, you guys were really nice to me. And your mother. I really enjoyed meeting your mother...
George: Enough of your lies! Get out! (Shoves Noah out the door)
George (mocking Noah): "I enjoyed meeting your mother", taya loca! "Enjoyed meeting your mother!"
George: Your boyfriend's in the closet.
Carmen: Oh my God! (Closet door slowly opens and Zack starts to walk out, George doesn't notice)
George: I know, I don't like it either. But just because Noah's gay... (Zack slowly gets back in the closet) It has nothing to do with you.
(After seeing Noah kiss a guy)
George: Man, that kid's a player. He's just playing for the other team!!
Benny: I know for sure that guy's a liar!
Benny: He said your cooking was delicious! Either he's a liar, or he's never had food before.
Benny: It's like my mother always told me, "Get cheated on once, shame on them. Get cheated on twice...start putting out."
Carmen: I can't wait until you finally get your first girlfriend. My kids are going to love walking it and feeding it!
Max: So you ARE pregnant!
Angie: Ok, stop it, you are both buttmunching, buttweeding, buttfaces!
Zack Don't I get a kiss goodbye?:
George: Sure, let me bend over and drop my pants!