Ernesto 'Ernie' Cardenas
Benita 'Benny' Lopez
Angie Palmero Lopez
Carmen Conzuela Lopez
Angie does not see Benny hit Max, yet when she and George rush outside she yells "Benny!" like she did.
Angie: Max is not going to fail the fifth grade!
George: Exactly, no Lopez has ever failed the fifth grade! If we were talking sixth, seventh grade, or a surprise sobriety checkpoint that would be different, but fifth grade is where the Lopez's shine!
Benny: It's not like I'm the only one. In China I guarantee no child is getting a time out.
Ernie: Actually in China, children are taught to respect to their elders so a timeout would probably work. Then again, if they have more than one infant girl, they smother her, so you got your good and your bad.
George: What's wrong? Now that I'm all grown up you need someone else to smack around?
Benny: I never hit you!
George: What?! You used to pull me into the fitting room and hit me so the cameras wouldn't see. (imitates Benny hitting George and walking out of the fitting room) It didn't fit!
George: (to Benny after she hits Max) I swore I would never hit a women but, if you get another hair on that lip, I'm taking you down!
Angie: You embarrassed Max in front of his friends and even worst, you hit him in his identity.
Benny: Um, I'm pretty sure that's about two feet lower.
(Max reveals Benny paid him $20 to forgive her)
Angie: You can't buy family!
Benny: All the celebrity lesbians do.
George: Wow. At $20 a hit, you must owe me $60,000.
Benny: Oh, shut your big fat identity hole!
Angie: We've already punished Max, we've grounded him for a month with no TV.
Benny: Oh yeah, a whole month without the talking sponge, that's really gonna hurt.
George: A family is only as smart as their dumbest child, so lets make that Carmen again.
George: Quiet, I'm teaching.
Benny: I shouldn't have hit you, the times were just different when I was growing up. What we called discipline is now child abuse...keeping an eye on your man is now stalking. Hell, back then, no meant yes, at least it did to me anyway. What I'm trying to say is...here's a 20, are we cool?
Max: Yeah...Benny, did your dad ever say he quit you?
Benny: Where's that coming from?
Max: I'm acting up in school and Dad says he's quitting me.
Benny: Wow...you know my dad might've beat me like an old blanket but he never quit me. You should consider getting your crap together.
George: What kind of job can you get with no education?
Max: Professional skate boarder.
George: That's funny, I don't see too many professional skate boarders running in the house going 'Mommy I hurt my elbow, kiss it!'
Max: Then I'll work in a skate shop.
George: Well you could, you'd be making $200 a month.
Max: $200 a month? Cool, I could get a car, I could get a house.
George: You can't get a car with that money...well you could if you lived in a bad neighborhood.
Max: Then I'll live in a bad neighborhood.
George: Yeah, but oh wait, they just took your car...you could get it back from them.
Max: Yeah, I'll get it back.
George: Ah but you've just been shot.
Benny: Why don't you go play in front?
Max: Hey it's my yard, I'll play where I want.
Benny: Okay then, new game, let's play (tosses the ball into the next yard) get the ball back from the neighbor's rottweiler.
Max: No, I've got a better idea, why don't you take your tired ass home!? (Benny smacks him)
Benny: Wow. A month without the stupid, talking sponge. That's gonna hurt!
Benny is referring to the title character of the popular Nickelodeon cartoon series: Spongebob Squarepants.
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