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Sandra (doing comic act): I was talking to an old friend of mine from the past. He's been dead for 2 years; keeps trying to get me come visit, some friend.
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Melinda: Uh, I was also a... a fan of Marty Golden's too. I know that you two were close.
Sandra: "Close." Very interesting way of putting it.
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Marty: This is where it happened, this is where I killed myself.
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Francie (to Melinda & Andrea): I'm not fooled. Being haunted... very good for business.
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Female Ghost (to Melinda): We don't serve your kind here, honey.
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Melinda: Usually, when I see spirits they look normal.
Marty: What are you saying, I look as bad as I feel?
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Marty: They said my material was too cerebral for a young audience. I was outraged. Even after I looked up the word "cerebral," I couldn't agree.
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Francie: They were like vampires in love... live by night, sleep by day.
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Marty: I knew the minute I stepped off that... I made a mistake.
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Melinda: You're gonna be fine when you get out there.
Andrea: I won't. I am a coward. I don't know how I missed that.
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Andrea: We should expand.
Melinda: Andrea, it's one month's profit, we're not Walmart yet.
Andrea: That's it, we should franchise.
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Marty: So can you tell me what it's like?
Melinda: I don't know, I'm still alive.
Marty: Everybody's a comedian.
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Marty: They were right.
Melinda: What?
Marty: Dying is easy. It's the comedy that's hard.
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Sandra: What if I get happy and I'm not funny anymore?
Melinda: He doesn't think that that's gonna be an issue.
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Francie: I miss him. You tell him I will never forget him.
Melinda: You just told him.
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Francie: He sees me? Hears me? How?
Melinda: Everyone has a talent. This is mine.
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Melinda: Why? Why did you do this to yourself?
Marty: I don't know. You don't suppose I can undo it, do you?
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Marty: That's her. (they see Sandra getting out of her appartment) I always wanted to make her laugh. It was the hardest damn thing to do.
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(about Andrea's comic routine)
Marty: She's funny.
Melinda: She's good. She could slow down a little.
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Andrea: Am I imaging it or are your keys defying the laws of Physics?
(Melinda's car keys are floating in water)
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Marty: I have to find out what happened to me. Will you help me?
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Andrea (after the cups of coffee are thrown out of her hand): Okay, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that that was ghost related.
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Andrea: Melinda, I think you better see this.
(glasses balancing on corner of table then they fall)
Andrea: I hate this guy.
Melinda: I think it's time to pay Francie a visit.
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Melinda: Andrea tonight's not your night.
Andrea: What?
Melinda: There's a really nasty ghost up there.