G.I. Joe

Season 2 Episode 31

G.I. Joe: The Movie

1
Aired Weekdays 3:00 PM Jan 01, 1987 on
8.0
out of 10
User Rating
23 votes
3

EPISODE REVIEWS
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Episode Summary

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G.I. Joe: The Movie
AIRED:
Time and time again, Cobra has been on the threshhold of global domination, only to be thwarted by G.I. Joe. Now the ruthless terrorist organization has a new ally, the alien race known as Cobra-La, led by the sinister Golobulus. Golobulus wants to steal the Joe's Broadcast Energy Transmitter in order to ripen space spores and mutate the people of Earth. When Duke is injured and the rest of the force immobilized, it's up to the new recruits to pick up the slack and save the world and the day.moreless

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SUBMIT REVIEW
  • G.I. Joe's stand

    8.5
    I'll admit a truth this is not how I saw the 80's show ending or even how the final battle against Cobra would go, but oh well. What I'm about to say may be contrivercial but it's just my opinion, I acutally like this film ever since I was a kid.



    I'll get to the bad first. This is a minor complant but I think there were too many characters, now I know that the show was famous for having lots of characters and it was able to balance them out, I knew who was who on the show. However the characters that we know from the show are cameo appearances not really characters, they hardly have much to do or are in it that long; this I'll admit disapointed me a bit cause some characters I knew and loved hardly had much to do which tees me off a bit. Which is why I can't help but feel this film might have worked better if it was made into a movie series or a long parter it might have balenced the characters out more. But I understand why they weren't focused on much so I can let that side (sort of).



    But now for the bad, the plot I didn't like the plot I thought it was out of wack and out of place. I just don't buy into the source of Cobra's terrorism, it just feels like this was a plot for another movie, G.I. Joe is not a sci-fi/fantasy it's action.



    But now for the good despite flaw in plot, the film does some things right. For one thing love the opening theme song in the movie which is memorable and the opening itself, G.I. Joe always knew how to make an opening I'm a little sad most current shows don't really do that, and makes me wish most other movie opening could be as entertaining as the one in this film. Even the running music in most of the film is good as usual. Animation and action are both good and I can't help but feel seem a little more sharper. Loved in when the Joes were blowing the crap out of what look like the Aracnids from "Starship Troopers" or the nasty insects in Peter Jackson's "King Kong" I thought that was cool. I even liked that final fight and how it was chorigraphed.



    But most importantly the new characters I thought were very good thanks to some good voice casting.

    From villians like Pysola whom is cool. But most of all Golobulus voiced by the late great Burgess Meridith I thought his perfornace was good conveying command and menice.



    Good guys, Sgt. Slaughter for WWF fans he was fun and kinda funny from how over the top he was. Most of all Jinx, I'm glad her character was brought into the film. She was always one of my favorate characters in the comic book, and I loved how they handled her. She hot I'll admit I had a bit of a crush on her character when I was a kid, she know ninjitsu, she has a feisty aditude, smart, and for once has a significant other in this film, in the comic book series she never had one which I didn't think was fair but oh well. And that significant other is Lt. Falcon played by Don Johnson. He was just great in the role it really fit him like a glove, he wisecracking, arrogant, smooth talking, not so serious, and deeply determined. I really like how his character develops same with Jinx and their relationship which is something I hardly seen in the show. When you see Falcon at first you think he might not be a fit officer he might not strong enough in a spirtual sense to fight against evil, but of course when push comes to shove he becomes a true G.I. Joe. Also Falcon and Jinx would seem like an unlikely couple to happen but that what makes most romance stories interesting to me if one is different from the other in a way which always leads to a good/beautiful mixture.



    There was even some emotion in the film from both Falcon and Jinx. But of course from one scene in the film which I'll admit tugged at my heartstring a bit seeing what happens to one of my favorate characters.



    Overall I think it's an enjoyable fun film to watch, if your a G.I. Joe fan you might like it. Though I will admit becauase of the flaws I mentioned as time has gone on I sometimes feel like the film has aged a bit worse so I'd give the film a rental, whether you want to buy it or not is up to you.moreless
  • Underappreciated

    9.0
    I was surprised to find so many didn't like this movie. By all accounts, this should've been a fan's dream come true. The scope was bigger than a series episode, it introduced quite a few of the new figures at the time & was pretty mature/dark. As a matter of fact, the only complaint I had was with the b-ball player they created for some unknown reason & Chuckles (one of my favorite figures) didn't have a personality.



    I hated Cobra-La but in a good way & they gave Cobra a mythology. Cobra Commander was much too likeable & for the first time, I wanted to see Cobra lose. Sgt. Slaught had some classic dialogue. I loved Falcon's maturation process & thought he made a great main character. And there wasn't a more moving scene in the series than seeing the tears come pouring out of Hawk after Duke fell.moreless
  • Not as smokin' hot as The Transformers: The Movie, but it's still good.

    8.7
    I first go this on video back in 1992, when it was called "Action Force: The Movie". And now, let's begin the review:



    The opening sequence for "G.I. Joe: The Movie" kicks off in an amazing fashion. The forces of Cobra attack the Statue of Liberty. Cobra was always doing something like this on the show, be it from destroying the world's money, to using a heavy metal band to mind control people, they always had some kind of plan to help them take over the world, which make me wonder, where did they get the money for all this? But I digress. When it looks like the forces of Cobra are winning, G.I. Joe makes the save! This I think is the best of the film (which is rarely a good sign, having the best parts show up in the opening credits) In a nice little montage; we get to see just about every Joe who appeared on the show (sadly, for most of those characters, that's it for their big screen debut. So long Recondo (jungle trooper), nice knowing you). And it short order, the evil forces of Cobra are beaten, their giant airship blown up (Do they buy those things by the gross? I mean, they always had a giant something or other, and it always got blown up.) And speaking of blowing up, the ship looks to right above the Statue of Liberty. Wouldn't the falling debris be more of a danger than the attack itself? But that never comes up again, so I guess it's OK. According to Internet Movie Database.com, this sequence was supposed to be the movie's finale, which is something I'd never heard before. If that were true, I would assume that Sunbow had a completely different storyline in mind for "G.I. Joe: The Movie", since this sequence doesn't fit with what we actually get. I can kind of see where it could be the finale of a movie, but it also feels more like an opening sequence to me mainly because the animation for this section is so well done, I can't see them maintaining this level of quality for the entire movie.



    Personally, I don't think this sequence is actually supposed to be tied into the plot of the film as a whole. I think it's just basically a glorified opening credits sequence rather like the opening sequence from the regular Sunbow episodes.



    Now on the movie proper, and we see the first sign of end times. "Staring Don Johnson as Lt. Falcon". Perhaps I'm being to hard on Mr. Sonny Crockett. And perhaps not, but we get to see a nice effect of a bug being eaten by a fish, who is in turn eaten by a alligator. We get a good look at the Terror Drome (Cobra's base. Now, they never said where it is, but you think somebody would see it. I mean it's a giant blue dome with a huge red cobra on it. Wouldn't it show up on radar?) And we also get to see what looks like an eyeball on a stalk rise out of the water and go back down. Don't worry, it'll come into play later. But now, the film goes to the war room, where the Cobra Emperor Serpentor is ranting and raving at Cobra Commander. (I should mention this. Serpentor was made to lead Cobra in "Arise Serpentor, Arise!", and he is made up of the DNA from various dictators and conquers and oh yeah, a pro wrestler.) Since they made him to lead Cobra, why exactly do they keep Cobra Commander (the real leader of Cobra) around? As the rest of the Cobra forces mention, the man has done nothing but cause defeats and he hasn't exactly been subtle on his wanting to take Serpentor down. So why do they let him stay? (I guess because they needed more toys to sell, and the censors wouldn't let them kill anybody)



    This is a sort of "Match Of The Day" post-battle analysis, with everyone rounding on Cobra Commander, while Serpentor acts as a sort of Gary Lineker host to proceedings. But as they list the Commander's faults, we see a figure in black emerge from what looks like a pile of organs near the swamp. The mysterious figure uses a 4-headed snake to cut it's way through the electrified fence and makes it's way through the base attacking the Cobra forces. Now, the intruder attacks various Cobra Officers and Crimson Guardsmen, and it looks like it kills them. One note of this, "The Transformers: The Movie" (which had come out before this film) had several characters die. This upset the fans of that show, so when they did this film, they decided to change a few things, so now characters in this movie get "hurt" instead of killed. But there is no mention of that for the Cobra troops, so I guess they are just out of luck.



    This sets off an alarm and Cobra Commander says that it must be an assassination attempt. How would he know? And he calls the rest of the forces to follow him. Now, why would they just follow him? They know he has a lot to gain from Serpentor's death, and hasn't he proven that he isn't the best person to trust? But they follow him anyway. And to nobody's surprise, Cobra Commander spots the intruder right off the bat, but leads the rest of Cobra's high command in the wrong direction on purpose.



    The intruder manages to make its way to Serpentor's throne room (maiming several nameless extras along the way) where Serpentor confronts the figure (who is revealed to be a woman, with a topknot haircut, lizard like eyes, and armor that looks like a cross between raw muscle and bone. Her name is Pythona) Serpentor lowers his snake (not like that! On Serpentor's costume, he had 2 snakes by his head. They both moved, so I think they were supposed to be alive. But whenever he attacked someone, he would yank one of them off, and straighten it out and use it like a spear while another snake would crawl up from somewhere and replace the one he removed. I have no idea how that worked) and says he knows her somehow as she shows him what looks like a oyster/hologram projector and says how they need the Broadcast Energy Transmitter.



    And what is the Broadcast Energy Transmitter (BET) you ask? Well, it can broadcast pure energy all over the world at any given time, it costs about a billion dollars, and the Joes have to test it in the Himalayas. Why are they there of all places? After they turn it on, the PAC/RAT robots begin to move. Not really fire their weapons and actually move to another location, but just move their turrets around. It was never explained if the robots were capable of thinking on their own, and what they ran on (electricity? Fossil fuel?) So what this billion dollar machine can do is screw with the electric systems and that's about it.



    Now for some comedy, Cross Country (dumb hillbilly who listens to country music) is shown leaning up against the HAVOC (kind of like a cross between a tank and big rig) when it suddenly drives without him. He runs after it screaming "Wait, stop mule, stop!" and nobody seems all that concerned that a expensive piece of military hardware is running amok. (unlike the PAC/RATS, the HAVOC is really moving on it's own) the vehicle disappears over a small ridge with Cross County going after it. About a half a second later, he comes running back, with what looks like a huge Cobra attack force behind him. Now as I said before, I'm not in the military, so I'm not big on standard procedure, but shouldn't the Joes have seen this? I mean those vehicles are kind of loud (and the drivers are screaming "COBRA!" at the top of their lungs) how could they just sneak up on them like that? Wouldn't they be visible by radar? Or perhaps they did know, and they were just hoping to get rid of Cross Country?



    Two quick notes:

    1.Quick Kick (martial arts guy) is drawn wearing a parka, but no boots. Ankle deep snow, and the man is barefoot! I know the Army has had some cutbacks, but this is just silly.

    2.One of the Motor Vipers can barely be heard yelling, "What the hell is that?"



    The Cobras and the Joes duke it out. When it looks like Cobra has the advantage, Duke (First Sergeant and second in command, more on this later) starts up the BET again and gets the PAC/RATS up and running. In one scene, one of the robots fires a missile and manages to destroy several Cobra STUNs (weaker version of the HISS tanks). With one missile. What are those things made out of, paper?



    Serpentor starts fighting with Duke. The fight starts out ok, but it ends with something that always made me wonder as a child. Duke knocks Serpentor in to the main dish of the BET while it's on. Wouldn't this fry a normal person? We see the electricity, and the smoke rising off of Serpentor, but he's only unconscious and his snazzy gold uniform isn't even burned! Cobra Commander orders a retreat, and for some reason, the rest of Cobra listens to him. They spent most of the beginning saying what a lousy leader Cobra Commander is, so why would they listen to him now? But listen they do, and they run off in the few STUNs that didn't get blown up by one missile. The Joes decide to spilt up (don't they watch horror movies? You never spilt up!) With Roadblock (heavy machine gunner who speaks in rhyme) taking some of the Joes and going after Cobra, while Duke will take the rest of the Joes back to the states with the BET and Serpentor.



    Now, this is where things get a bit odd. Cobra Commander leads the Cobra army from a snow-covered valley to a grove filled with giant plants. (I'm unsure if they are in another valley or in a cave. The animation suggests that they just walked from one place to another with no problem.) The Joes arrive a few seconds after the Cobras' and start their attack, but they are stopped when a some guy in armor who was hiding in the snow jumps up and rids the HAVOC apart with his bare hands. More creatures (dressed in red armor and looking like giant bugs armed with gigantic swords, I mean the swords are bigger than the characters, how do they swing them around with out killing their own side?) appear out of the snow and attack.



    The Joes seem to take seeing a bunch of guys with big swords baring down at them rather well. I guess they really are prepared for everything. Quick Kick is taken down (and yes, he is still in his bare feet) and Snake-Eyes (ninja, whose girlfriend was Scarlett in the comic) is knocked out with one slap. Now, this really ticked me off. On the TV show (and the comic), Snake-Eyes and Quick Kick were supposed to be the top 2 martial artists that the Joes had. Here, they get taken out in less than 5 seconds, and that is their contribution to the plot. Snow Job (arctic solider) tries to run down Cobra Commander in a HAVOC when the super guy who ripped up the previous HAVOC's up (his name by the way is Nemesis Enforcer) gets underneath the HAVOC, rips open the cockpit and tears Snow Job out through the floor. Snow Job hits the floor, and that's it. He has one more line in this film, and that his whole contribution. Cobra Commander runs up to Nemesis Enforcer and starts acting real chummy with him, and it seems that Nemesis Enforcer knows the commander really well too, as he gives him a backhand that would make Rudy Ray Moore proud. Pythona shows up, and not so subtly hints that Cobra Commander is in some serious trouble with her boss. Cobra Commander freaks out and drives off in one of the few STUNs that didn't get blown up. Nemesis Enforcer uncurls his wings (he does have a pair of giant bat wings on his back, which does lend for a cool visual) and takes flight. He picks Cobra Commander up out of the STUN right before the STUN blows up. How does it blow up, do they patch these things up with c40? After they bring Cobra Commander back, Pythona tells the rest of the Cobra forces that they need both Serpentor and the BET...



    Meanwhile, back G.I. Joe Headquarters (and I should point this out. The G.I. Joe chain of command is this: Hawk, Duke, Flint, and last but not least, Beach-Head. This will come up later, so pay attention), Duke is worried because it's been 24 hours since Roadblock reported in. They decided (in case of a Cobra attack) to transfer the BET to a maximum-security station, and fast forward the training of their new recruits, while Flint goes off and looks for Roadblock. Now, Beach-Head (ranger with a South-Eastern accent) is, well, think of someone trying to do an impression R. Lee Ermey (the drill instructor from "Full Metal Jacket") and you would be close. Now, these new 6 recruits are going through what is supposed their graduation from "recruit" to full-fledged Joe. But hang-on, there are only 5! Lt. Falcon, the last recruit, isn't there. So, does this mean he doesn't get to graduate? Or does he get a stern talking to? No, it never comes up again. But enough of that, we have some comedy to get to, as we get to watch the humorous training sequences.



    First up, we have Tunnel Rat and Big Lob. Now Big Lob, who was never released as a toy, is a black guy dressed in a basketball jersey and speaks in sport metaphors. That is his personality, just nowhere near as annoying to me as say, Wheelie's rhyming in the Transformers movie...or Daniel Witwicky's very existence, for that matter...



    Tunnel Rat is a little Asian New Yorker man in a do rag. In fact, his face and body sculpt were based off of G.I. Joe comic book writer Larry Hama. Tunnel Rat even served in Vietnam according to his filecard.



    Now, to get on the team, all they have to do is get from one side of an obstacle course to the other and ring a bell. Beach-Head mentions that he built the course himself, as we see Tunnel Rat run away from the stating point and crawl in a nearby drainage pipe. It was real nice of Beach-Head to put in all those pipes that go around all the obstacles, wasn't it? But Big Lob isn't as lucky, so he has to actually run the thing. The first obstacle is a minefield. Now, is this supposed to be a live minefield? Because given how close Big Lob is to the explosions, wouldn't he be torn to ribbons? I guess they were dummy mines filled with powder. Next up, he has to swing across a big pit. It would be easy, except that as soon as he's over it, the entire pit bursts in flame. Now, I know that army training is suppose to be tough, but do drill instructors try and kill the new recruits? But it doesn't matter, because Big Lob (using some basketball terms) climbs up to the rope's supports and walks over the fire. Next, there is a pool, with electrified barbwire over it. From the shots of Big Lob in the water, it looks like the wire is right in the water with him. Again, is Beach-Head trying to kill these guys? Now Big Lob faces the final challenge: 2 big cannons! Using a combo of basketball and football terms, Big Lob tosses a grenade into one of the cannons and blows it up. Tunnel Rat then comes out of the pipes and shoots the other cannon and they both celebrate by having Tunnel Rat jump into Big Lob's arms and wrap his legs around the dude's torso. Beach-Head smashes the control for the course. I guess he's either upset that he failed to kill two more people, or Tunnel Rat's display of love for his fellow teammate only serves to remind him of how Cover Girl (Wolverine tank driver) would never return his phone calls. Or perhaps I'm just looking at this too seriously. Nah. Poor Beach-Head...it's only begun to bite for him...



    Next, we have Law, who is an MP and a K-9 officer, but he has a partner to introduce before he starts the test. If you said his partner would be named Order, give yourself a cookie. Order, as it turns out, is a German Shepard dog, and he is trained to sniff out explosives. Which is very handy, as Law's test is to find a bomb somewhere in a faux jungle village. Oh, and the bomb is real dynamite, and he only has five minutes to find it. Well Law doesn't do anything, as Order finds the bomb with no problem. Problems do arise as Order brings the bomb back to Beach-Head, and we get to witness some comedy as Beach-head keeps throwing the bomb away, and Order keeps bringing it right back. Law picks the bomb out of the dog's mouth and tosses it in the air where it explodes.



    From my understanding, bomb (and drug) sniffing dogs are taught to sit when they find the scent. After they sit, they get a treat. I have to wonder this again, is Beach-Head trying to kill these guys?



    But that will have to wait, as we get to see another new recruit, Chuckles (undercover dude who wears loud Hawaiian shirts) and Beach-Head's attempt on his life. Now, according to his filecard and his comic appearances, Chuckles is an undercover specialist. His gimmick is that he's the one you call on when you need someone to go deep undercover and stay there for a good period of time. He's about on the same level as Lady Jaye when it comes to disguise and such.



    So why the heck do we see Chuckles in a HAVOC tank being instructed to shoot down a HISS tank (Cobra's BIG tanks) is utterly, utterly, utterly beyond me. Sounds too easy, but what do I know? Anyway, he has the tank in his sights, when he jumps out of the HAVOC, yanks one of the missiles right off the side of the vehicle, runs (with the missile on his back) towards the other tank and tosses the thing straight at it. The other tank blows up in a huge fireball. When the smoke clears, Chuckles is on the ground, with nary a smudge on his Jimmy Buffet shirt. Boy, I can see why the Joes want this guy! Super strength, and the ability to survive a tank exploding not five feet from him! And he doesn't even talk either (I think the hiring of Don Johnson probably prevented the crew from getting another voice actor, but still, they could have gotten somebody, since Chuckles is perfectly capable of talking in the comics.). Not to mention that he is secure enough in his masculinity to wear such a loud Hawaiian shirt into battle, so with a guy like this on the team, why are they even bothering to train anyone else? Actually, I presume one reason why we didn't get to see Chuckles exercising his specialty was because it would have slowed the movie down and we're already deep in padding country here as it is. Still doesn't explain Chuckles doing his Metal-Head impression but...that's just me.



    But there is still one more recruit to see, and that is Jinx (lady ninja)! Because you can't have an 80's movie without a ninja! She was supposed to duel with Falcon (you know, Mr. No-Show, our hero!) but he has yet to show up. So Beach-Head will do the honors of dueling with Jinx.



    After a few seconds of swing one of those sticks that have bags on the end of them, Beach-Head manages to knock Jinx right on her butt. Then he says: "Don't bother to unpack, you ain't staying here long." This is what leads me to think that this training session is meant as a way of weeding out these recruits. Whoever fails, leaves. Beach-Head is, in no uncertain terms, telling Jinx that she's just washed out. But Jinx gets up again only this time she puts on a blindfold. And low and behold, she smacks the heck out of Beach-Head who not 5 seconds ago managed to knock her down. I guess he was trying to be nice after trying to kill the other recruits.



    Next, we finally get to see Lt. Falcon (Green Beret)! He drives past a sign that reads: 'KEEP OUT Personnel Only'. I guess they should have made the sign bigger, because Falcon is driving right up to Serpentor's prison cell, with a blond woman on his arm. After hearing her talk, it's obvious that she is not a Joe, and that Falcon is taking her to the prison to greatly impress her. Because as we all know, nothing gets a woman in the mood for loving like taking her into a military prison and showing her how to get pass all the security, right?



    Don Johnson, as most folks already know, is voicing Lt. Falcon, and I want to take a moment to say, with no sarcasm intended, that they've got the exactly right voice for this character. Don Johnson does a GREAT job of playing Lt. Falcon as an arrogant butthead. My complaints about Lt. Falcon are in no way, shape, or form aimed at Mr. Johnson's skill as a voice actor. Or as a regular actor, while I never saw much of "Miami Vice" or "Nash Bridges".



    And, as far as that goes, I'm not even all that ticked off at Buzz Dixon and Ron Friedman (the writers). After all, they meant for Falcon to be a raging butthead. The idea being that we will see Lt. Falcon as an immature, unformed lump of clay who will learn, over the course of the movie, to be a mature and responsible leader. Rather like what happened to Hot Rod in "The Transformers: The Movie".



    The difference being that Hot Rod was a young and impetuous kid, while Lt. Falcon is an obnoxious, insubordinate, self-absorbed, sexist dipstick.



    But, in case explaining how to access the security codes wasn't enough, Falcon is showing off his expert marksmanship by shooting a stack of tech manuals. Impressed, he tries it again, only his shot goes wild, and almost hits Duke right between the eyes as he walk in. Duke seems somewhat put off by the fact that Falcon has brought a civilian onto the base, but she also brought a camera with her! (Never mind the fact that Duke almost got shot in the head. I guess army training really does give you nerves of steel) Falcon tells Duke to 'mellow out'. I mean, jeez, it's not like the woman's a Cobra agent or anything (oh crud, did I just give that plot point away?) And besides, Falcon's shot only missed killing him, so what's the big deal, right? I should mention that I really dislike Falcon, and he hasn't been on screen for thirty minutes yet. Jinx escorts the lady back to her car (yeah, I mean, it would be silly of them to do something like...oh I don't know, question her? But no, they just let her drive on her merry way) Duke and Falcon have a stare down. Duke tells Falcon "You're dangerously close to insubordination, little mister!" "Dangerously close?" Falcon almost kills a man, brings a complete stranger into a military prison holding one of the most dangerous men alive, blows off graduation, and he's only CLOSE to insubordination? Falcon replies, showing off the keen wit that must have impressed the heck out of the woman he brought, "And your over the line on military protocol! I'm an officer and I'm pulling rank!" Now, as I read Falcon's filecard, it says that he's a Lieutenant and a Green Beret. If I were a member of the Green Berets, I'd sue for defamation of character. Where the heck did Falcon get his commission from, a box of Crackerjacks? Also, Duke is a Master Sergeant, can a Lieutenant order them around? Of course, since Duke is second in command of the entire team, I guess this is moot point. Note: A Lieutenant outranks a Master Sergeant, but an E-8 (Master Sergeant) commands more respect than a Lieutenant. And you're right its moot....despite the wacky rank structure the Joes employ, if Falcon is a subordinate position to Duke he has to obey his orders. Plus Falcon would be making license plates in Leavenworth for treason and dereliction of duty.



    A little down the road, the woman Falcon picked up turns out to be (dun dun dum!)...Zarana! (Zartan's sister who once had the hots for Mainframe (computer expert)) and to my surprise, after throwing Thrasher (driver of the Thunder Machine(the Dreadnoks' muscle car)) into the water, she WAS taking pictures of the base (only the camera was her earring) Pythona and Nemesis Enforcer show up, and they reveal that they are going to rescue Serpentor tonight.



    Deleted Scene Alert #1: This is the scene that inspired the infamous rumor that there's a version of the G.I. Joe movie where Zarana was topless. That's an urban legend folks, there's no such version of the movie, but the scene was storyboarded. You can find the storyboards at Joe Guide.com's 2nd Buzz Dixon Interview (look down halfway through the page, to the section where they start talking about the movie). If anyone tries to sell you a copy of the Super-Ultra-Sekrit-Rare-UNCUT!G.I. Joe movie, they're trying to rip you off.



    That night, back at the Stockade, we see the inside of Serpentor's cell. It's a platform and the bars are actually lasers. You know, I have to wonder, what can they do with him? I mean he's the composite of various people from across the globe. Like Napoleon, for example, so wouldn't that make him a French citizen? But again, I digress. On guard duty, we have Gung-Ho (marine), Alpine (mountain climber. Why would they have a mountain climber on guard duty, wouldn't that be more of a MP thing?), and Bazooka (well...he has a bazooka. Ok, they can't all be gold). Alpine is worried (and he darn well ought to be. The most dangerous man alive, and they only have 3 guards?) but Gung-Ho dismisses his fears. After all, they have Falcon watching the monitors, and he'll tell them if anyone tries anything, right?



    Well, no. We cut to the outer perimeter...and lo and behold, it's empty! That's right Falcon, having enough of all those stupid little things like 'rules' decides to hang out at the motor pool and "talk" to Jinx. And by talk, I mean use some of the dumbest pick up lines I've heard in a while and judging by the sound effects (and Jinx's expression) a little bit of butt smacking as well. Gee, our hero is a sexist AND a moron. Judging from the dialogue, it seems that Falcon and Jinx were suppose to do something, but he blew her off for Heather (the blonde who was actually Zarana). Well, Lt. Falcon's a two-timer, a sexist, AND a moron, our hero folks.



    Again, I realize that Lt. Falcon is supposed to be the G.I. Joe movie's version of Hot Rod, the young hothead who makes good, but as it stands, Falcon makes Hot Rod look as level-headed as I dunno, Angus McLevel, the Irish Olympic Level-Head Gold Medallist of 1927. Hot Rod, at least, is an idiot because he's a young and inexperienced kid. Lt. Falcon, one would assume by his rank and filecard, is more experienced. At least experienced enough to know that you do NOT leave your post and you do NOT allow unauthorized personnel into secure areas. Because if you do...well, let's continue with the review and all will be made clear.



    Falcon lists all the security that one would have to get through in order to get to Serpentor. While he's going on and on as to how imperious all the defenses are, we see the Dreadnoks, Nemesis Enforcer, and Pythona making their way through them like they were nothing. They blast their way in the cell and engage the Joes in a firefight. Gung-Ho barely manages to sound the alarm in time, as well as get injured along with Alpine and Bazooka by Nemesis Enforcer (and when Falcon hears it, he has the audacity to blame Jinx for the bad luck. What a guy!) After watching this scene myself, it appears Falcon did slap Jinx on the butt! I'm surprised that they let that in on a show for kids! And in the real military, sexual harassment will get you booted out, but fast!



    The rest of the Joes show up, but it's no good. Serpentor escapes. Hawk, unlike Falcon, knows exactly who to blame: "Falcon, take a good look at what your irresponsibility cost us." He continues to read Falcon the riot act as well as send him to bed without supper. We saw Pythona drop what looked to be some kind of land mines (the subsequent explosions as the Joes' vehicles run over them confirms that) and we saw several Greenshirts (nameless extras) get blown up, I guess if you don't have a name, then you are just out of luck. But on the plus side, Falcon is a getting a court-martial! (although having only ONE guy manning the post is a little suspect, shouldn't the whole team have been guarding Serpentor?)



    Deleted Scene Alert #2: During Serpentor's escape, Jinx can be seen with a blindfold and a sword trying to stop the Thunder Machine from escaping with Serpentor. Falcon sees Jinx and pushes her out of the way, resulting in Cobra making their clean getaway. Falcon and Jinx argue, until they notice the smoke coming from the Stockade, which leads to Falcon running into Hawk.



    We cut back to the Himalayas, and we see what looks like a giant ball of slime flying through the air. (I guess slime doesn't show on radar) Serpentor comes out, and we are told that Golobulus, leader of Cobra-La (voiced by the late great Burgess Meredith, who starred as Ernie Pyle in the 1945 movie "The Story Of G.I. Joe") is the one responsible for the creation of Serpentor, not Dr. Mindbender (mad scientist of Cobra). It helps shed some light on the mystery about how Mindbender got the idea in his dreams in the first place, but it does lead the way into the trial of Cobra Commander.



    It's rather interesting that the trials of Falcon and Cobra Commander parallel each other here. It makes sense, since both characters are rather similar in that neither side thinks much of them. Both are raving incompetents who need to learn to grow up. The difference is that one gets the chance to redeem himself and one's Lt. Falcon. Okay, seriously, both actually get the chance to redeem themselves in the end.



    Back at the Joe HQ, Falcon is awaiting his court-martial, as Hawk, with Wild Bill (cowboy who flies a Dragonfly helicopter), Slip-Stream (Conquest jet pilot), and Admiral Ledger (owner of the USS Flagg) sitting by his sides, reads out:



    "Three good men injured, Serpentor freed by some bizarre new enemy, all because you can't obey orders! Your record is a shameful parade of insubordination and gross dereliction of duty. We've searched your file in the hope of finding some act of merit to offset the maximum penalty. We found...none!"



    Which again brings up the question of how the heck did Falcon make it into the Joes? And beyond that, why is Falcon still in the military? You'd think he'd have ended up tossed out on his ear LONG before now.



    Before they can deliver the maximum penalty, Duke asks that Falcon be spared. We learn that Falcon is Duke's half-brother, and Duke made a promise to keep him safe. Out in the hall, Falcon shows his appreciation by whining how Duke is always busting his chops every chance he gets. But, part of the point of this movie is to show the beginnings of Lt. Falcon's growth from a selfish, rebellious child into a selfless, team-playing adult, so Duke doesn't write his brother off. My gosh, Duke, couldn't you have just stood by and let them hang this twit? But Hawk decides that Falcon, instead of being killed, will now be shipped to...the Slaughterhouse!



    But on the other hand, Falcon and Duke really look nothing alike; Falcon was originally supposed to be General Hawk's son (he was even called Baby Hawk in the first draft of the script), judging by their bird codenames, and the writers really should have stuck to that. But with the beret, Falcon could have passed as a relative of Flint.



    Back at Cobra-La, we see the trial of Cobra Commander (who, from the looks of things, has just spent the whole day inside a big clam.) We also cue the flashback. Ages ago, Cobra-La ruled the Earth. But the Ice age came, destroying much of the civilization, and forcing the remnants of Cobra-La to flee into hiding. Now, they are in the Himalayas, where it is pretty darn cold (there is even snow still on the ground). If they can't stand the cold, why in all the heck are they in the Himalayas? Wouldn't it have made more sense to hide someplace warm, or at least move someplace warmer after the Ice Age ended? But that's beside the point. The big plan of Cobra-La is to destroy mankind so they can have the planet back. And their first agent was a brilliant nobleman who had been disfigured in a lab accident in order to come to Golobulous' attention. If you said that Cobra Commander was that nobleman, you were right. I always thought this was a silly back when I was kid, and time hasn't changed my opinion. So the nobleman/Cobra Commander goes forth, to destroy mankind, and bring about an age of guys dressed as insects. Now, the armies of Cobra were regular men, what was Cobra Commander going to do with them after they had won? And if Golobulus wanted mankind wiped out, why didn't he just send some of his own men with Cobra Commander? But that is never mentioned, and the trial ends with the clam closing on Cobra Commander.



    Outside, Golobulus reveals his master plan. He will launch the giant plants outside into orbit, and the spores from them will cover the Earth, turning all the humans into mindless beasts. But the pods can't ripen in space (so why the heck is he launching them into orbit? And how does one launch a plant anyway?) and because of that fact, that's why they need the BET. Now, he says that all the humans inside Cobra-La will be saved from the spores, but how do the Cobra troops know they are telling the truth? Cobra Commander is brought forth and exposed to the spores, and his skin turns from blue to yellow-green. OK, if Cobra Commander is affected, how come none of the other Cobra-La people are? Isn't he of the same genetic stock? But it's not mentioned again as we segue to...



    Falcon, getting transported to the Slaughterhouse in a Tomahawk helicopter. Wild Bill and Lift Ticket (Tomahawk helicopter pilot) don't even want to land for this guy. Instead, they give a parachute and kick him out of the helicopter. He barely manages to pull the ripcord in time, and even then the wind is against him (see? Even the elements hate this guy!) as he is almost dragged to his death. But he escapes (darn) and meets up with the Renegades: Mercer (ex-Cobra Viper who's seen the light) Red Dog (Samoan who got tossed out of pro football for unnecessary roughness) Taurus (Turkish ex-circus acrobat with a few extra bats in his big top), and the leader of this bunch, Sgt. Slaughter (the legendary drill instructor/WWE Hall Of Famer, voiced by himself). After the introductions, Slaughter tosses Falcon his bag, and orders him to run all the way to the Slaughterhouse.



    Back in Cobra-La, Cobra Commander is becoming more snake-like with every passing second. When the guards toss Cobra Commander into the cell with the captured Joes, they decide to make a break for it. They get about halfway to a bridge when giant tentacles come up out of the ground and wrap up Quick Kick, Shipwreck (sailor), Dusty (desert trooper), Snow Job, Snake Eyes, and Lady Jaye. Roadblock, who didn't get caught in the vines, and Cobra Commander cut a deal, but Nemesis Enforcer shows and sprays something in Roadblock's eyes, blinding him. Cobra Commander says he'll be his eyes and thanks to his wonderful directions, the two of them end up going off a cliff.



    But don't worry, they are both ok! Well, Cobra Commander's faceplate has come off, and he's a snake-like creature with multiple eyes. (In the comics, we see Cobra Commander's face a couple times and he's not a snake-man. He's a used car salesman.) Just as Roadblock and Cobra Commander start to bond and go off to warn the other Joes, the pods begin to launch (how? I mean, wouldn't you need some kind of propulsion system to escape the Earth's gravity? How many trees are equipped with those anyway?)



    Back at the Slaughterhouse (which is built out of boat, airplane, and tank parts), Falcon finally shows up. Again, aren't Green Berets supposed to be tough? Then we get to see Falcon going through the various training sequences that are suppose to make a Joe out of him. And we get another great quote from Sgt. Slaughter: "You're going to work until you wish you were dead, and then keep going, because you're afraid if you don't, I'm not gonna let you die." They get a call from Duke to infiltrate the Terror Drome and find out what happened to Roadblock's team. Slaughter treats it like a training exercise, so Falcon suggests they leave their weapons behind, making it a REAL challenge. The Renegades look like they want to kill him, and I don't blame them, as Sgt. Slaughter agrees to it! Sneaking into a heavily guarded enemy base, with NO weapons at all? Real smooth, Falcon...



    Deleted Scene Alert #3: There was supposed to be a scene where roving reporter Hector Ramirez (Geraldo Rivera parody who has appeared in "G.I. Joe", "Jem & The Holograms", "Inhumanoids", and "The Transformers") is seen reporting inside the U.N. Building, where world leaders argue among themselves concerning the fungus pods roaming around the Earth. Hawk and Duke watch the broadcast, and Hawk tells Duke to contact Sgt. Slaughter. This scene was never animated, but you can find the storyboards at Joe Guide.com's 2nd Buzz Dixon Interview (look down halfway through the page, to the section where they start talking about the movie).



    At a civilian security lab, the Joes are setting up the BET. Because no one will think to look there, right? Well, the Baroness was disguised a technician and now COBRA knows (and knowing is half the battle! Come on, I had to say it!)



    At the Terror Drome on Cobra Island (yes, they finally mentioned where the thing is) and Mercer knows not only the way in, but all the security codes as well. Wouldn't have Cobra changed all the codes if one of their own soldiers defected? Or did they not notice him missing? And if he knows not only where the Cobra base is (and all the codes to get into said base) Then why the heck hasn't somebody gone down there and blown up the darned place? But nobody says anything (a lot of silent people in this movie, have any of you readers noticed that?), and the Renegades make their way into the Terror Drome.



    Once inside, the Renegades and Slaughter decide to blow up the armory and they send Falcon to radio in to Joe headquarters. Apparently Slaughter thought that Falcon's 'no weapons' rule was just as stupid as I did, because all four of them have guns and are firing away at everything in site. I guess they couldn't bring any weapons, but using ones they find there are OK. Meanwhile, Falcon is not having any luck with the radio. Some ground troops take him out, and Serpentor is slapping Falcon around in best Dolemite fashion. We cut to a time bomb that Slaughter has apparently placed under one of the explosives lockers in the armory (so much for that whole 'no weapons', right?). Slaughter and his men burst in, and the Sarge is taken down by some kind of green thing with tentacles and the Nemesis Enforcer. Falcon rips it off with no problem, and Taurus mentions the bomb. The team manage to get out just in time as the bomb goes off and the explosion takes out the entire Terror Drome. I know that small explosives can pack a punch, but the bomb is barely bigger than Falcon's hand. Maybe Cobra shares the same designers as the guys who built the Death Star? Or maybe Cobra just keeps all their extremely explosive material underneath their radios?



    Back at the security lab with the BET, the Cobra forces attack the base. Again, they just drive up and start attacking. Have any of these people heard of looking outside? You have several giant floating machines that look like the old scrubbing bubbles flying around and nobody sounds the alarm? Or maybe Cobra just attacked the one side of the building that nobody was watching? The Joes launch a counterattack (the Rawhides try and help, but their Tomahawk helicopter doesn't even get off the ground.) and they are doing pretty well, until Cobra-La shows up. And then they get their butts handed to them. Which brings me to this, if the armies of Cobra-La can do all this, then why the heck didn't they just invade en mass, rather than sending one guy to conquer the world? The Rawhides are trying to get their Tomahawk back in action, with Chuckles spinning the blades by hand. With one mighty push, the chopper is airborne! Hey, why not let Chuckles handle all the fighting? He's strong enough to handle it, from the looks of things. He's so darn tough, he doesn't even ride in the chopper, no, Chuckles even rides right underneath spinning propeller blades! He's so strong, that he can simply hold onto the chopper with one hand and manage not to get sucked into the blades. Wow.



    But it's all for naught, as some random vines show and take the chopper down again. Serpentor shows up, and Nemesis Enforcer manages to get past the ONE LOCKED door to get to the BET. Things look grim, but Sgt. Slaughter shows up! Yay, he's unstoppable, unless you make him fight Hulk Hogan that is. Falcon manages not to screw everything up and almost kills Serpentor too! (a bazooka and open fuel lines can be a bad combination) Serpentor doesn't take lightly to this, and tosses one of his snakes at him. Duke runs to save Falcon from Serpentor. The two opposing leaders fight in a rematch from the Himalayas until Serpentor throws a snake-spear at Falcon, but Duke takes it in the chest instead. Falcon stays behind with Duke, as a giant VTOL-moth takes the BET and Serpentor back to Cobra-La.



    This is the infamous "Duke dies/goes into a coma" scene. It's clear from the context of the scene that Duke was supposed to die. The fact that Serpentor's spear hit Duke in the chest, right about in the heart area, kind of clinches things.



    Duke's death, if it had gone through, was meant to be like the death of Optimus Prime in the Transformers movie: the falling of the old guard, to be replaced by the new, younger guard. Hasbro, apparently, was phasing out Duke's character, so killing him off wasn't something that would hurt the toy's sales.



    Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending how you look at it), Optimus Prime's death was not the rousing dramatic success that the folks at Hasbro hoped it would be. Kids and parents were outraged by the death, which lead to some serious backpedaling when the G.I. Joe movie came out. Duke, instead of dying, went into a coma that he miraculously recovered from at the end of the film. This has lead to another rumor that there's a version of the Joe movie where Duke actually dies instead. Not true, but if you want Duke to die, simply watch the last minute or so of the film on mute. No voice over from Doc, no recovery for Duke.



    Another problem with Duke surviving, beyond the fact that his survival seems unlikely, is that his death was meant to serve a purpose. His death was meant to be the final catalyst that sparked Falcon to finally grow up. The training at the Slaughterhouse was enough to start Falcon on his way, but losing his big brother should have been the final shock needed to show Falcon the light.



    Since Duke doesn't die, the catalyst isn't there. Sure, Duke being severely wounded does help push Falcon along, but it's not as dramatically satisfying as it would be if Duke had actually died.



    Falcon tells Duke that he'll make him proud as Duke slips into a coma (ignore Scarlett's "He's gone into a coma." line if you want Duke dead). We also see Hawk cry quietly.



    Soapbox Moment: Here's my other complaint about Duke not dying in the movie: for years, one of the big complaints against the G.I. Joe cartoon was that no-one ever died and no-one got hurt. Pilots whose planes were shot down would be shown parachuting from the downed vehicles, thousands of laser bolts would be fired and yet, nobody ever got hit, etc. All of this, according to the children's television advocates, was going to warp the minds of small children, teaching them that violence has no consequences, and lead them to lives of mindless mass murder (either that or teach them to be really *BAD* shots...).



    'Course, if you think about it, some guy's plane gets shot down and he has to parachute out of it to keep from dying is showing a consequence for violence. It also shows that Joe and Cobra characters aren't stupid enough to try and die in a plane crash when they could just as easily get out. As for the idea that no one got hurt, that's not true. People *did* sustain injuries in the G.I. Joe cartoon. Granted, they were largely relatively minor injuries along the line of twisted ankles and broken bones, but if the folks behind the Joe cartoon had tried to show actual blood and guts consequences of warfare, these same anti-violence advocacy groups would have succumbed to an aneurysm.



    Which brings me back to my point about Duke not dying: What better way to show the consequences of warfare than by having Duke die? There it would have been, in full, glorious color on the TV screen for little Johnny and little Jane to see: get stabbed through the chest and you will die. We even got to see blood! But no, Optimus Prime's death was too traumatic for the kiddies, so Duke doesn't die, we get saddled with that lame "Duke's a-okay!" bit at the end.



    Anyway, back to the movie...



    Back in Cobra-La, everyone welcomes Serpentor and the BET back. As soon as they get the thing set, they fire it straight at the pods in orbit. Now, would zapping a plant with pure energy make it mature faster, or would it simply fry it? And, wouldn't all those giant pods show up on somebody's radar? (maybe this a world where radar doesn't exist) Golobulus has what looks like a stick with a worm crawling around on it (he uses it as a person might use a hourglass.) when the worm reaches the top of the stick, the pods will ripen, and they will rule over a planet filled with crazed mutants.



    Back in the states, Dial-Tone (dorky communications expert) finally figures out where the BET is (using radar, yes, radar can do anything! They trace the BET's blast to the Himalayas. They still either don't see the pods, or they don't want to mention them). The Joes decide to attack (and Falcon is ordered to stay behind, to wait and hear from Flint. Where has he been, did he decide this film wasn't worth his effort?).



    Meanwhile, Roadblock isn't doing so well. Cobra Commander is now a giant snake and he's screaming "Once a man! Once a man!" Believe me, this gets annoying quick. Roadblock apparently agrees with me, as he and Cobra Commander start to strangle one another. Their fight causes them to roll down a hill, and right directly in front of Flint's group. I guess they wanted all the ends tied up quickly. They radio in to HQ to tell them about the plants, and we see the other Joes arriving out side Cobra-La. Their entire attack force consists of one Mauler, one Snow Cat (a arctic half-track), and about fifty foot soldiers. They charge, but they all fall pray to the same plants that took out Roadblock's party. Almost everyone is taken by the things, while Flint shows what could happen mankind (using Cobra Commander as an example) With the rest of the Joes down, it's up to Falcon to save the day. Oh dear.



    Back at the Himalayas, as Lifeline (pacifist medic) restores Roadblock's vision, Flint and Iceberg (2nd arctic soldier who hates warmth) wait on what to do when Falcon and the other Rawhides land in a helicopter. They decide to let Cobra Commander lead them into Cobra-La. But what he actually does is slither off. But it's OK, because Tunnel Rat finally does something useful, and finds a tunnel (get it?) leading into a underground river. Which is the same underground river where the Dreadnoks are planning to seal up, so the spores don't get in. The Joes handle the bikers with no problem.



    And we cut to the Ice dome. The Cobra forces are busy building defenses against the Joes (a little late, wouldn't you say?) and we see some Swampfires (a kind of jet ski/helicopter combo that the Dreadnoks use) fly in. Much to Cobra's shock, Joes, not Dreadnoks, pilot those vehicles. Now this is Big Lob's moment in the sun, as (using plenty of sports metaphors, naturally) he flies his Swampfire into one of the trees. Don't worry, he jumps out in time (in keeping with the rules of the show, anytime a plane crashes, the pilot always manages to bail out in time). Of course, considering the fall to ground (and a noticeable lack of a parachute) it might have been safer if he stayed on board. The crash does its job however, and the vines that held the rest of the Joes captive have been loosened. It then turns into a slobberknocker as the Joes take on Cobra (now, when they were first introduced in the film, the Royal Guards of Cobra-La managed to take out several Joes, but now, the Joes are holding their ground. Guess they found out that only one Royal Guard was going to be made). Lady Jaye and Flint share a cute moment where they each deck a Viper and pause and give each other a "Hi honey!" look.



    Golobulus orders the creatures of Cobra-La to attack. And what, my brothers and sisters, are the creatures? EVERYTHING. I mean the bridges, the floors, the walls, everything including the kitchen sink comes alive and attacks. The bridge that the Joes have to cross is really a giant insect, but Slaughter takes it out with one punch. Tunnel Rat gets swallowed alive by a wall, but he blows it up from the inside and runs out laughing. Giant spiders block the way, so only a few Joes get through to Golobulus's throne room: Sgt. Slaughter, Falcon, and Jinx. Everyone pairs with an opponent: Sgt. Slaughter vs. Nemesis Enforcer, Jinx vs. Pythona, and Lt. Falcon vs. Serpentor, and the final fight begins!



    Everyone holds their own, but Falcon ends up with one of Serpentor's snakes around his throat. When it looks like we might finally be rid of this twit, Cobra Commander shows up! He's now a complete snake, which I guess makes him an equal for the other one as he somehow gets the snake off of Falcon. Golobulus cause a chasm to open behind Jinx, but (while blindfolded, mind you) she tosses Pythona into the abyss.



    Meanwhile, Sgt. Slaughter is busy making Nemesis Enforcer job faster than S.D. Jones. After a few body slams, the Sarge tosses him into the pit. Though, why Nemesis Enforcer can't fly out, I'm not sure, unless the fight damaged his wings or some such.



    Falcon jumps on the back of Serpentor's Air Chariot and causes him to crash through the ceiling (by putting the guy's cape into the intake fans. Now that is embarrassing.) I guess Serpentor survived the crash, because he is seen in "Operation: Dragonfire".



    Golobulus, being as sick with Falcon as we are, steps into the fight (rather like Hot Rod facing Galvatron and then going up against Unicron...only, without the Matrix Of Leadership). Golobulus has the advantage, as he previously unseen lower body is revealed to be that of a serpent! He starts to strangle Falcon, but in a move that would have made Magnum TA proud and Tully Blanchard wince, Falcon gets the upper hand when he stabs that bully Golobulus directly in his eye with a pointy stick (we don't actually see this, but it's clear from both the context of the scene and a later shot showing the eye dripping ooze what happens). Darn, this is getting kind of hardcore for a kids movie, isn't it? But I digress.



    Falcon races to get to the BET and shut it off, which he does. Unfortunately, he's a little bit too late, and the plants have already ripened and the spores are coming down. Golobulus climbs into a pod and flies off, apparently the victor.



    Falcon decides to try a different tactic and switches the BET back on, only this time he's turning the juice all the way to 11! The plan is that the energy at such power will incinerate the spores, but again, there's a hitch. The BET is going to explode! (Why? I don't know, it's either IITS, or else it's just another billion dollar piece of junk)



    Sgt. Slaughter takes off his belt and as soon as Jinx grabs the end of it, he starts swinging around his head. Falcon leaps off the BET and grabs on to her, and the Sarge tosses them over the abyss. I guess he leaped over it when we weren't looking, because he's outside with them, no questions asked, although at this point I don't care anymore myself. Everybody runs like a scared rabbit because Cobra-La is about to go the way of the dodo in a fairly nice explosion sequence.



    Outside, Cobra-La collapses in upon itself and the Joes celebrate their victory. The news comes in, via voice-over, that Duke has come out of his coma and is going to be okay! (Turn your sound off at this point if you want Duke to be dead).



    Falcon and Jinx are up on a cliff, away from the others. They share a kiss, then stare at the crater that was once Cobra-La.



    Jinx looks up at the sky and notices that the last of the mutation spores are burning up as they enter the atmosphere. Falcon, in a non-sequitor moment, says "Thanks, big brother."



    And on that note, the movie ends. Fade out, credits roll.



    Now for my take on the film. I like watching it. It's a very well done film, particularly considering the time period when it was made and the fact that it was a direct-to-video release (though the fact it was meant originally for theatrical release probably helped boost the quality). The storyline is about on a par with the better Joe miniseries and at least the movie manages to break the usual miniseries pattern of the Ultimate Weapon being introduced on Day One, three days of Joe failures (or at least draws) against Cobra's troops, Duke ends up in the Arena of Sport, and Cobra loses in the eleventh hour on Day Five. (Then again, that's also because "G.I. Joe: The Movie" was intended to run as one continuous story, not as five segmented bits.)



    Most fans hated the idea of Cobra-La but I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that the idea of Cobra-La being responsible for Cobra was dropped on us at the last minute. Rather like the idea that the Quintessons were the creators of the Transformers just appeared out of the blue in "Five Faces Of Darkness" (the Transformers Season Three opening miniseries). If we'd been expecting this all along, I don't think folks would be quite as angry about the idea as they sometimes are. Overall, Cobra-La certainly isn't as silly as the idea of the Joes running into the Egyptian gods or the idea of Cobra taking over the world with giant vegetables.



    "G.I. Joe: The Movie" came out after "The Transformers: The Movie" and "My Little Pony: The Movie" both bombed at the box office. "The Transformers: The Movie", while not a bad film over all, garnered an angry response because of the wholesale slaughter of characters, particularly the death of Optimus Prime (apparently, the idea that the Transformers were at war was okay, just so long as nobody died).



    Both the Transformers and G.I. Joe movies follow the same basic plot points: battle between factions escalates when new, more powerful outside force interferes with the battle. New characters are introduced and become the main focus of the movie to the detriment of the existing characters. Both movies focus on the maturing of the young, male lead, though the Transformers movie does a better job.



    Man, what a ride. This film marked the end of Sunbow's association with the G.I. Joe cartoon, (although they kept doing the animation for the commercials until 1989). Soon, DiC would step in and take over the show. The new G.I. Joe cartoon lasted 2 more seasons before being cancelled. Although on one of the more inane episodes, (one of the last ones, as I recall) we see the return of Falcon! Only this time, his training with Sgt. Slaughter seems to have worn off, because besides having all of his old problems, he's also a drug fiend. Great, just what the fans wanted, a junkie version of Don Johnson. Anyway, I hope you guys and gals enjoyed this little trip down memory lane.



    Till next time.moreless
Christopher Collins

Christopher Collins

Ripper/Televiper #1

Guest Star

Arthur Burghardt

Arthur Burghardt

Iceburg

Guest Star

Michael Bell

Michael Bell

Blowtorch/Lift Ticket

Guest Star

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

FILTER BY TYPE

  • TRIVIA (3)

    • When Serpentor is interrogating Falcon, he says 'If you won't answer me, you can answer Nemesis Enforcer!' Nemesis Enforcer doesn't speak, for crying out loud!

    • Goof: Notice as Lifeline is present and speaks when the Joe's are storing the B.E.T. at the maximum security facility but he had already left as part of Flint's team to search for Roadblock's unit.

    • Trivia: On the Japanese language Laser Disc, Duke's death scene was left intact.

  • QUOTES (2)

    • Sgt. Slaughter: We all go home or nobody goes home!

    • Sgt. Slaughter: You're goin' nowhere, space case. You're here 'cause you're an industrial strength foul-up! My job is to whip ya into shape, and I'm talkin' whipped! There are two ways outta my command - on your feet like a man! Or in a ditty bag. An itty, bitty ditty bag. Got it?!
      Falcon: Yes, sir!

  • NOTES (5)

    • Originally, Duke was supposed to have died after he got hit by Serpentor's snake. With the backlash of Optimus Prime's death in
      Transformers The Movie
      , the writers and animators quickly changed it to where Duke stops breathing and goes into a coma.

      This wasn't changed during the writing stage but in post production. B.J. Ward [Scarlett], Ed Gilbert [General Hawk] & Buster Jones [Doc] were called back in for new dialogue recording's of the changed lines.

    • Burgess Meredith ironically played Ernie Pyle in the 1945 movie The Story Of G.I. Joe.

    • One of the storyboarded scenes, that quickly died after the storyboard stage, was a "nude scene" involving Zarana at the pond. She would have disrobed and been briefly seen in the buff, Barbie doll style in terms of anatomical correctness.

    • During the Web Of Remembrance flashbacks, the sequence of the Cobra infantry soldiers running on foot, being chased by Joe vehicles, is stock footage taken from The Revenge Of Cobra.

    • Several scenes were storyboarded but never animated. One scene featured recurring character Hector Ramirez reporting from the UN building after the spores are launched into orbit. Another scene featured Jinx with her blindfold on and holding a sword, trying to stop the Thunder Machine from escaping with Serpentor. Falcon sees her and pushes her out of the way. She starts to argue with him but then they notice smoke coming from the stockade. The scene then leads into Falcon running into Hawk.

  • ALLUSIONS (0)

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