Gilligan's Island

Thurston: If you want people to find us you've got to give them a universal starting point like Fort Knox. Skipper: Fort Knox? Professor: Mr. Howell, we are wasting film? Thurston: You're so right. Keep rolling. Ginger: If you want a landmark, Hollywood is here. Thurston: Hollywood? Ginger: For ten percent my agent will swim down here personally. Mary Ann: We ought to start with the nation's capital, Washington, D.C. Thurston: Washington, D.C.? I'm a Republican. No one would ever find me there. Skipper: Mr. Howell, if you'll just listen to me. We started from Hawaii. That's the best place to find us. Ginger: If Lana Turner was discovered in a soda fountain I can be discovered here.

Gilligan: [Professor and Ginger] are gonna break the world kissing record. Thurston: World kissing record? Gilligan: Yeah, held by Skinny Mulligan and Florence Oppenheimer. Six hours, 12 minutes, and 13 seconds. Thurston: How could anyone possibly kiss that long? Gilligan: Oh it's easy. They were chewing bubblegum and their braces locked.

Thurston: Very important. A dry makeup is a good makeup.

Gilligan: Hey Skipper, we could have some fun with these costumes. Skipper: Certainly we can have fun, Gilligan, but we're not here for fun. We're here to get off the island.

Professor: Well you are a little overweight, Skipper. Skipper: I'm not overweight. I just have big bones. Gilligan: And they're covered with big meat.

Professor: Well Skipper, what do you think? Skipper: That Gilligan's right, Professor. There's a big hole in the port side. But the starboard side is the bigger problem. Gilligan: What's that? Skipper: There isn't any starboard side.

(Gilligan saw a ship) Skipper: Where is it, Gilligan? Where? Gilligan: it's right out there. I saw it plain as day. Professor: Out where, Gilligan? I don't see anything. Gilligan: You're not looking in the right place. Look a little bit more over there, see? Skipper: How big was it? How many people were on it? Gilligan: There was nobody on it. It's an abandoned ship. Professor: Abandoned? Gilligan, where exactly did you see this ship? Gilligan: You see, it's right out there. You look over to the left, and now straight down. Professor: Straight down? Skipper: Gilligan, you mean you saw a sunken ship? (Gilligan nods) Oh, Gilligan. Professor: Well now listen Gilligan, how far down was she? I mean, how many feet? Gilligan: Professor, in navy circles, we don't say "feet," we say "fathoms." Professor: All right, how many fathoms? Gilligan: I don't know. About 15 feet.

Professor: There were a few technical difficulties. Gilligan: He means me.