Gilligan's Island Season 2 Episode 22

Professor: You know, I had a good look at that ape.
Gilligan: Yeah. He was looking at me real good, too. Real hungry-like.
Professor: It's one of that rare breed, who like the rattlesnake of the genera Crotalus can actually be stared into immobility.
Skipper: Oh you mean, if you keep looking at him, he'll keep looking back.
Professor: That's right. If you don't move, he won't move. It's kind of like hypnosis.
Skipper: Wish me luck, boys.
Professor: No, wait a minute, Skipper. I'll do the staring. We need your strength to carry one of those boxes.
Gilligan: Well Professor, you better pick up the other box too. I can't budge either one of them. And besides, I'm a good starer.
Skipper: I wish there were another way.
Gilligan: Honest, I really am a good starer. I once stared at a man-eating tiger for two hours and 20 minutes and he didn't bite me.
Skipper: But Gilligan, that tiger was behind bars. And that ape isn't behind any bars.
Professor: However, if you remain frozen, he'll remain frozen.
Gilligan: Well I got a good start. I got cold feet already.

Skipper: We've got to get that ammunition away from [the gorilla].
Professor: The ape was obviously on the island during the way. He saw the soldiers using the weapons and decided that's the way men play together.
Skipper: He's liable to start playing again while we're sitting down at dinner or swimming in the lagoon.
Professor: We've got to get into that cave.
Gilligan: Maybe there's a back door.
Skipper: Certainly, and a basement andSkipper: three bedrooms and two baths.
Gilligan: I don't think it's that big.

Skipper: That's just dandy. Who ever has those grenades has a machine gun, too.
Professor: I wonder why they stopped firing.
Skipper: I don't know. They could've picked us off like sitting ducks.
Professor: I can't see anything.
Gilligan: You can come up now, Mr. Howell.
Skipper: Yes, that is unless you're frozen down there.
Thurston: I'm listening for the sound of approaching horses, a trick I learned from General Custer.

Thurston: The military thing is to come to attention when your superior officer enters a room.
Lovey: You mean you're superior to me? I don't think I like that, Thurston.
Thurston: Lovey, let's just say that I outrank you.
Lovey: I'm not certain I like that, either.
Mary Ann: Good for you, Mrs. Howell.

Thurston: Professor, as commanding general, I appoint you chief of intelligence.
Professor: Well thank you very much, General.
Thurston: And Skipper, in spite of your insurgent attitude I'm gonna make you secretary of the navy. On your shoulders will rest all our naval problems.
Skipper: Yeah, well thanks a lot, Mr. Howell. We haven't even got a boat.
Thurston: That's your problem.
Gilligan: When you get one, I'll enlist.

Lovey: Don't loiter, Gilligan. Surrender and be back on time for lunch.
Gilligan: Yes, ma'am.

Lovey: Gilligan, this ought to do nicely for a white flag.
Gilligan: One of Mr. Howell's good shirts?
Lovey: Yes, with the family crest: Crossed dollar bills on a field of Swiss banks.
Gilligan: Take these cuff links. They must cost a fortune.
Lovey: Gilligan, one mustn't talk of money at a time like this.
Gilligan: One mustn't?
Lovey: No, it's neatness that counts. Now, French cuffs flopping in the breeze would be terribly sloppy.

Thurston: Sorry I'm late, gentlemen.
Skipper: Please Mr. Howell, we're trying to think this thing out.
Thurston: I know exactly what to do. Demand immediate and unconditional surrender.
Skipper: But we don't know who for how many. How can we ask them to surrender?
Thurston: I don't mean them .I mean us. Have either one of us go to the lagoon carrying a while flag.
Professor: That may not be a bad idea.
Skipper: What? Give up without defending ourselves?
Thurston: Immediately, before one precious drop of Howell blood is spilled.
Skipper: Well nobody is pushing me around. If it's a fight they want, I'll give it to them.
Professor: Whoever they are Skipper, they've got hand grenades and discretion is sometimes the better part of valor.
Thurston: Discretion is always the better part of valor.
Skipper: I'm still for fighting to the last man.
Professor: What about the women?
Skipper: Oh I forgot about them.