Gilligan's Island

Season 2 Episode 13

Gilligan Gets Bugged

Aired Saturday 8:30 PM Dec 16, 1965 on CBS



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Gilligan: Hey Skipper, what time is it?
      Skipper: It's 10 after two.
      Gilligan: Thanks.
      Thurston: It's five after two.
      Gilligan: Good. That's five extra minutes.

    • Ginger: Do you know what we're looking for?
      Mary Ann: Of course. We're supposed to find a basketful of ferric nitrate.
      Ginger: Ferric nitrate. Sounds like a good name for a cowboy star.

    • Gilligan: What are you trying to make?
      Professor: A serum.
      Gilligan: Syrup? Oh I love syrup. I love it on toast, and pancakes, and ice cream-
      Professor: Gilligan, I said serum, not syrup.
      Gilligan: Is that good on pancakes?

    • Gilligan: What are you trying to make?
      Professor: A serum.
      Gilligan: Syrup? Oh I love syrup. I love it on toast, and pancakes, and ice cream-
      Professor: Gilligan, I said serum, not syrup.
      Gilligan: Is that good on pancakes?

    • Thurston: Lovey, just don't sit there. Stuff some paper under the door.
      Lovey: darling, we haven't got any paper.
      Thurston: Well, use money. And after the danger has passed we can unfold it.
      Lovey: Shouldn't we be trying to get whatever it is Gilligan needs to be cured?
      Thurston: The first law of human nature is self-preservation and I intend to be very very law-abiding.
      Lovey: Darling, you can't be serious. We must do something to help the poor boy.
      Thurston: You're absolutely right. I forgot for a moment that I'm a Howell. And a Howell is never chicken. Pheasant, perhaps, but never never chicken.

    • Professor: Gentlemen, I have some news.
      Skipper: Good news?
      Professor: Well, there's some good news and some bad news.
      Skipper: What's the good news? We could sure use some.
      Professor: There does seem to be an antidote for the bite of the mantiscani.
      Skipper: Hey, that's great, Professor.
      Thurston: The bad news?
      Professor: We don't have any of the ingredients here on the island. However, I have some more news, some good and some bad.
      Skipper: What's the good news?
      Professor: It's possible to use substitutes.
      Thurston: And the bad news?
      Professor: I'm not sure we can find all the substitutes. These are the things we'll need: calcium carbonate, cellulose sulfide, and ferric nitrate.
      Thurston: You buy those syllables wholesale?
      Professor: I know it sounds complicated, Mr. Howell. But all of these substitutes can be found in relatively common sources: Clam shells, papaya root, mustard plants.
      Skipper: Oh well fine, Professor. We'll get on it right away.
      Professor: Just a minute. There's more news.
      Thurston: Good news and bad news.
      Skipper: What's the good news?
      Professor: In 24 hours, I can make enough antidote to save Gilligan.
      Thurston: My turn. The bad news?
      Professor: It won't do the rest of us any good.
      Skipper: What difference does that make, Professor? We weren't bitten.
      Professor: The mantiscani bug travels in swarms of millions. Chances are, by sundown, we'll all be bitten.
      Thurston: They wouldn't dare bite a Howell. Would they?

    • Lovey: But there must be something we can do for the poor boy.
      Skipper: But what can we do?
      Lovey: We can take him some chicken soup.
      Skipper: Mrs. Howell, he was bitten by a deadly bug. Chicken soup won't help.
      Lovey: But it won't hurt.

    • Lovey: If one scratches, one itches.

    • Thurston: We'll just stroll by very casually, you see, and ask him if he itches.
      Lovey: Darling, that's such bad manners. One can't go up to a perfect stranger and ask him if he itches.
      Thurston: Well, he's not a stranger, and we know that he's far from perfect.
      Lovey: Yes, well anyway, I think the whole thing's ridiculous.
      Thurston: Darling, I had hoped to protect you, but I must tell you the truth. Our little friend Gilligan has only 21 hours left.
      Lovey: Left for what?
      Thurston: Then he goes to that great deserted island in the sky. Only 21 hours.
      Lovey: Oh but doesn't he pick up an hour west of the Rockies?
      Thurston: Darling, you don't understand. He was bitten by a bug.
      Lovey: Darling, that's silly. We've all been bitten. This crazy islands filled with bugs.
      Thurston: This is the dreaded mondoconi. Or is it conomondi? A deadly bug with a green body and yellow wings.
      Lovey: Oh what a terrible color scheme. No wonder it's deadly.

    • Gilligan: What's wrong? What's wrong?
      Ginger: You scared us.
      Gilligan: I scared you? Boy, you sneak up behind a guy and you scream. That's what I call scaring a person.
      Mary Ann: What's that?
      Gilligan: What does it look like?
      Ginger: We know what it looks like.
      Gilligan: that's what it is, a bathtub.
      Mary Ann: A bathtub?
      Gilligan: Yeah. I gotta find some sticky stuff to line it so it wouldn't leak.
      Ginger: We brought you something.
      Gilligan: Sticky stuff?
      Mary Ann: No, a pie.
      Gilligan: A pie? Boy, girls don't know anything. You can't line a bathtub with a pie. In your first bath, you'd be covered with crumbs.

    • Skipper: Why don't you both take [the pie] to [Gilligan]? It would look so natural. I mean, two girls taking a stroll.
      Mary Ann: Carrying a pie.
      Ginger: Who would believe that?
      Skipper: Gilligan.
      Ginger: Anybody else, no. Gilligan, yes.

    • Skipper: Come on, girls. It's not hopeless. We don't know that [Gilligan's] got all the symptoms yet.
      Ginger: Skipper, the last time I saw him he was so pale and so thing and so ill.
      Skipper: But Gilligan always looks like that.

    • Professor: About all we can do is to watch [Gilligan] for symptoms.
      Skipper: Symptoms?
      Professor: Yes, the classic symptoms are aches and pains in the joints.
      Skipper: Aches and pains.
      Professor: Complete loss of appetite.
      Skipper: Complete loss of appetite.
      Professor: And a severe case of itching.
      Skipper: And a severe case of itching. At least I know what to look for now. Pains in his appetite, loss of joints, and an ache in his itching. Oh Professor, I'm so upset, I don't know what I'm saying.

    • Skipper: Pardon my saying so Gilligan, but isn't this a little big for a bathtub?
      Gilligan: Not for me. I like a lot of boats in my tub.
      Skipper: Boats?
      Gilligan: Yeah, you see, I play war games with the boats. I put the red navy on this side and the yellow navy on that side then I send out a destroyer, and then I send out a battleship-
      Skipper: No, wait a minute, Gilligan. Never, never send out an aircraft carrier, then you get all….How do I get myself caught up in these things?
      Gilligan: I never play with a submarine in the bathtub. You gotta watch out where you sit.

    • Skipper: Little buddy, your big buddy has had it.
      Gilligan: Me too. If the professor wants this stuff, let him make it himself.

    • Thurston: Oh there must be joy in bugville. Two Howells in one day.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

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