Gilligan's Island

Skipper: All right, now, women first. Thurston: Yes, women first.(Thurston cuts to the head of the line) Skipper: I said women first. Thurston: You can't expect ladies to go into a dangerous cave without a man to blaze a trail.

Skipper: Look, Mr Howell, let's concentrate on the radio. Thurston: Gilligan broke it. Let him fix it. Professor: Gilligan is hardly an electronic wizard. Thurston: Well is that so? Can you turn yourself into a radio? Professor: Gilligan had nothing to do with it. It's just that two of his teeth jammed against each other. It's as simple as that. Skipper: And all because I accidently belted him one. Professor: That's right. And when he hit the table, it jammed it back into its normal position. Thurston: Well if we his him again, do you think he would turn into a radio? Skipper: Mr. Howell! Thurston: Now, wait a minute! It's only a soft rock. Skipper: You drop that rock. Thurston: A little mayhem may save us all. Skipper: Mr. Howell, you can't expect a man to stand still while you belt him with a rock. Thurston: Well I don't expect him to stand. Certainly not! Skipper: Well that's better. Thurston: Of course, what you do it you sneak up on him, then you hit him!

Lovey: The Professor wouldn't let me listen to the radio. Thurston: Well I'm terribly sorry but I'm on the trail of something very very important. Lovey: But the Professor's wasting his time on a tycoon. Thurston: No, dear. That's a typhoon. You see, a tycoon, that's a man with money, like myself. A typhoon is a big bag of wind. Never mind what you're thinking. No comments.

Thurston: There must be a way I can make money from that boy's teeth. This could be bigger than transistor radio. Molar FM! Biscuspid shortwave.

Skipper: I'll take [Gilligan] over and show the girls. Wouldn't it be wonderful if our little buddy could be turned into a color TV?

Skipper: Professor, I don't see how a smack in the jaw could turn him into a radio. Professor: He's not a radio, Skipper. He's merely a simple form of receiver. You see, the high-frequency sound waves are emanating from the molar, which is- Skipper: Never mind all the technicalities, Professor. The thing I'm getting at is, I've been belted many times before but the only thing that ever came out of my mouth was a loose tooth. Professor: From what I've been able to see, one of Gilligan's molars has been jolted out of position and shoved against a tooth with a silver filling. Open, Gilligan. Gilligan: (out of his open mouth) This is station KALU, Honolulu. The voice of…. Professor: Close. Not too unusual a situation. It's happened a number of times. Skipper: Yes, but not to Gilligan. Professor: Well the atmospheric conditions, the metal in his mouth, the shape of his skull, have all combined to make him a receiver. Skipper: Is there any chance, Professor, instead of being a receiver could we make him a sender so we could get a message to Hawaii? Professor: I'm afraid not, Skipper. And unless I miss my guess the position of his head and body will bring in different stations.