Thurston Howell III
Jonas Grumby (The Skipper)
Eunice Wentworth 'Lovey' Howell
Mary Ann Summers
Skipper: Professor, I order you back in the cave!
Professor: After the storm.
Skipper: Look, I'm out here. I'll take care of Gilligan.
Professor: I know you can, so I'll take care of you.
Skipper: All right, now, women first.
Thurston: Yes, women first.(Thurston cuts to the head of the line)
Skipper: I said women first.
Thurston: You can't expect ladies to go into a dangerous cave without a man to blaze a trail.
Skipper: Look, Mr Howell, let's concentrate on the radio.
Thurston: Gilligan broke it. Let him fix it.
Professor: Gilligan is hardly an electronic wizard.
Thurston: Well is that so? Can you turn yourself into a radio?
Professor: Gilligan had nothing to do with it. It's just that two of his teeth jammed against each other. It's as simple as that.
Skipper: And all because I accidently belted him one.
Professor: That's right. And when he hit the table, it jammed it back into its normal position.
Thurston: Well if we his him again, do you think he would turn into a radio?
Skipper: Mr. Howell!
Thurston: Now, wait a minute! It's only a soft rock.
Skipper: You drop that rock.
Thurston: A little mayhem may save us all.
Skipper: Mr. Howell, you can't expect a man to stand still while you belt him with a rock.
Thurston: Well I don't expect him to stand. Certainly not!
Skipper: Well that's better.
Thurston: Of course, what you do it you sneak up on him, then you hit him!
Lovey: The Professor wouldn't let me listen to the radio.
Thurston: Well I'm terribly sorry but I'm on the trail of something very very important.
Lovey: But the Professor's wasting his time on a tycoon.
Thurston: No, dear. That's a typhoon. You see, a tycoon, that's a man with money, like myself. A typhoon is a big bag of wind. Never mind what you're thinking. No comments.
Thurston: There must be a way I can make money from that boy's teeth. This could be bigger than transistor radio. Molar FM! Biscuspid shortwave.
Skipper: I'll take [Gilligan] over and show the girls. Wouldn't it be wonderful if our little buddy could be turned into a color TV?
Skipper: Professor, I don't see how a smack in the jaw could turn him into a radio.
Professor: He's not a radio, Skipper. He's merely a simple form of receiver. You see, the high-frequency sound waves are emanating from the molar, which is-
Skipper: Never mind all the technicalities, Professor. The thing I'm getting at is, I've been belted many times before but the only thing that ever came out of my mouth was a loose tooth.
Professor: From what I've been able to see, one of Gilligan's molars has been jolted out of position and shoved against a tooth with a silver filling. Open, Gilligan.
Gilligan: (out of his open mouth) This is station KALU, Honolulu. The voice of….
Professor: Close. Not too unusual a situation. It's happened a number of times.
Skipper: Yes, but not to Gilligan.
Professor: Well the atmospheric conditions, the metal in his mouth, the shape of his skull, have all combined to make him a receiver.
Skipper: Is there any chance, Professor, instead of being a receiver could we make him a sender so we could get a message to Hawaii?
Professor: I'm afraid not, Skipper. And unless I miss my guess the position of his head and body will bring in different stations.
(The cave the castaways sought shelter in just seconds before has been destroyed by a lightening strike)
Professor: It's completely destroyed!
Skipper: (Speaking to Gilligan) Little buddy! We came out here to save you, and you saved us!
Theme of episode: A negative event can sometimes have a positive effect.
The song that is coming out of Gilligan's mouth after he gets hit was the theme for the CBS Movie.
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