Gilligan's Island

Skipper: Shall we start working back on the case again. Gilligan: Yeah Skipper, I've been giving it a lot of thought. Skipper: Me, too. Gilligan: It seems to me the obvious suspect is still the butler. Skipper: Gilligan, how many times must I tell you, there is no butler on this island? Gilligan: Upstairs maid? Skipper: How could there be an upstairs maid when we don't have any upstairs? Gilligan: I guess I'll just have to cross her out.

Skipper: We have three suspects. We know the Howells are completely innocent. Gilligan: That's one nice thing about being rich. The only thing you'd be guilty of is having money. Skipper: That's right. And another thing is….Wait a minute, Gilligan. How do we know that the Howells are all that rich? Gilligan: they had a whole trunk full of money. They showed it to us. Skipper: But how do we know that they didn't steal it? Gilligan: Skipper, when you're as rich as the Howells, you don't have to steal.

Skipper: What's happened in every murder case that you ever read about? Gilligan: Somebody gets killed. Skipper: Right. Gilligan, I give up. Gilligan: Don't worry, Skipper. I have a few ideas. What we have to look for is the most innocent-looking person. And that person will be guilty. Skipper: The most innocent-looking person? Gilligan: Yeah. Skipper: And which one of us might that be? Gilligan: It's the Professor, naturally. He's the most innocent-looking person, so he's got to be guilty. Skipper: The Professor wouldn't kill a fly, Gilligan. Gilligan: Yeah he's saving up his strength to kill people.

Gilligan: Skipper, I got it. I know who did the murder. Skipper: You know who….Who did it? Gilligan: The butler. Skipper: Gilligan, we don't have a butler. Gilligan: I used to watch everything on TV, and it was always the butler. Skipper: Gilligan, we don't have a butler.

Gilligan: ...and, how about Ginger, and Mary Ann, they say they're girls, but how do we know it Skipper: I think you better see your eye doctor.

Skipper: Gilligan, you're being ridiculous. Gilligan: Don't forget, Skipper. Before we went on this voyage, we didn't know any of these people. Skipper: You're right! What do we really know about any of them?

Gilligan: Skipper, it's pretty hard to think logically when your head's rolling around in a basket...What about the girls with their poisonous soup? When I go, I want the flowers on the outside, not on the inside.