Gilligan's Island Season 2 Episode 23

Gilligan: Ahoy there, fellow captain.
Skipper: Ahoy there, follow captain?
Gilligan: Now hear this sweepers, man your brooms, fore and aft, and do all those dirty jobs I used to do.
Skipper: Gilligan, do you feel all right?
Gilligan:Ginger read her crystal ball. And guess who'll be the captain of his own ship?
Skipper: You.
Gilligan: Yo-ho-ho and a bottle rum!
Skipper: Gilligan, you couldn't captain a toy ship in a rain barrel.
Gilligan: Yeah. If I get to be captain, you can be my boatswain.
Skipper: Boatswain?
Gilligan: Chief Pretty Officer?
Skipper: Gilligan, I'm a captain.
Gilligan: I don't think a ship can have two captains.
Skipper: That isn't exactly what I had in mind.
Gilligan: You're jealous because you're afraid that I'll be a better captain that you.
Skipper: Gilligan, one thing I do know for sure, you're gonna be a smarter captain than I am.
Gilligan: I am?
Skipper: Yes, because you're not gonna hire a first mate as dumb as the one I hired.
Gilligan: You're right. I'm not gonna hire a first mate as dumb as the one you hired. That's me.

Professor: Ginger, don't tell me you've fallen for your own act.
Ginger: Why? I predicted the rescue ship, and the radio confirmed it.
Professor: But that was just a coincidence.
Ginger: Oh. All you skeptics are all the same. What you don't understand you call a coincidence.

Mary Ann: Oh why don't you look where you're going?
Gilligan: I wasn't going. I was just standing.
Mary Ann: Why do you always stand where other people are going?
Gilligan: Why are you mad at me?
Mary Ann: I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at [Ginger].
Gilligan: Why are you yelling at me?
Mary Ann: Because!
Gilligan: That's not a good reason.
Mary Ann: It's a good enough reason for you.