Gilligan's Island

Thurston: Are you through playing with your boats in the bathtub? Professor: Please, Mr. Howell, this is very important. It's a scientific approach to the problem. Thurston: Scientific approach? I tell you, that egghead wasn't born, he was hatched! Professor: Now, see here, Mr. Howell, I do not have- Gilligan: What about the Skipper? Thurston: The Skipper? Oh yes. Once I get this on a business-like basis, we'll find him at once. Professor: We are not forming a corporation. Thurston: And we are not forming an FBI of the South Sea Islands. Professor: I will not be intimidated by your wealth. Thurston: I will not be intimidated by your intellectual propaganda. Professor: I wish you would listen to someone else for a change. You're always so positive! Thurston: That is not true! I'm positive that I'm not always positive.

Thurston: What do we do now? Gilligan: Don't worry, Mr. Howell. The Skipper felt this was gonna happen. He trained me to take over. Professor: I'll handle this, Gilligan. After all I am a professor. Thurston: No, I'll take over. I've handled major corporations for years and done rather well, if I say so myself. Gilligan: Wait a minute. I've been trained to take over. Professor: Well I think we must examine all the evidence very carefully before we jump to conclusions. Gilligan: But, Professor- Thurston: No buts, Gilligan! We have to investigate at once! Professor: Absolutely.

Skipper: I want to talk with you. That's it. You know, I've been thinking a lot about you lately. As a matter of fact, I made a decision of great importance. Gilligan: About what? Skipper: Well the fact is, Gilligan, if anything happened to me there's only one logical replacement, and that's you. Gilligan: Yeah, I thought you might say…Me? Oh this is my first promotion since grammar school.

Lovey: Are you absolutely certain that we're going to be captured, Thurston? Thurston: Yes, my dear. It's terribly distressing. I just don't know what to wear to a capture, that's all. Lovey: Well I don't think beige would clash with those grass skirts the natives always wear. I do think chiffon's terribly chic for a capture, don't you, darling? Thurston: No, my dear. I'm not too sure about chiffon. I mean, to a garden party, yes. Lovey: Oh chiffon will take you everywhere. Thurston: Now do you think these Oxford shirts are too informal? I mean, I could wear them with- Lovey: We must be sure not to upset them, dear. They might get nasty and drop us into one of those pots of boiling water. Thurston: Well in that case, drip-dry.

Gilligan: Hey, Skipper. Skipper, look at this new longbow I invented. Skipper: Gilligan, didn't anybody ever tell you not to point? Gilligan: I thought that meant just for fingers.