Gilligan's Island

Skipper: Oh sure, but where do we start? Knowing Gilligan, that ticket could be anyplace. Gilligan: No, it couldn't Skipper. It's not in my pocket, because I looked. Skipper: Great. Where else couldn't it be, Gilligan? Gilligan: Gilligan:It couldn't be in that tin box buried down at the base of that big palm tree by the lagoon. Ginger: I didn't know there was a tin box buried under that tree. Gilligan: There isn't. That's why it couldn't be there.

Thurston: Now, there's only one use for money, and that's to make more money. Gilligan: But Mr. Howell, I want to spend it to make people happy. Thurston: That's a very noble sentiment. Very warm and generous, but stupid.

Lovey: Now, Gilligan, observe. One doesn't drink a tea. Gilligan: I'm glad to hear that, because I'd rather have like cocoa or soda pop or milk or root beer- Lovey: Yes, dear. Now, one doesn't drink tea. One sips, like this. (raises her cup and sips quietly) You try. Gilligan: Okay. (slurps his tea) Lovey: Gilligan. Gilligan: Not so good? Well I always was a slurpy sipper.

Thurston: You had an eight. I believe that I had a four. Gilligan: A four? You millionaires can make yourselves believe anything. Thurston: Would you believe that I once made less than a hole-in-one? Gilligan: Less than a hole-in-one? Thurston: That's right. I missed the ball and sank the divot. It's a golfing joke.

Thurston: Here, place your right hand on this pile of currency. No, don't clutch, my boy! I pledge allegiance to the spirit of money the color of which is stands, one currency divisible by ten with luxury and affluence to the very fortunate few. Is something amiss? Gilligan: Well that pledge, I've never heard one like that before. Thurston: That's the way I was taught at SMU. Gilligan: SMU? Thurston: Super Millionaires' University.

Thurston: Mrs. Howell and I were having a meeting of the board and we decided to admit a new member to this terribly exclusive private club. Lovey: And, Gilligan, guess who the new member is? Gilligan: The Skipper? Thurston: No. Gilligan: The Professor? Thurston: No. No. Who is loaded with money? Gilligan: You are. Thurston: Aside from me. Gilligan: Oh me. But I'm only a one million millionaire. Thurston: Be that as it may, you have the $50,000 for the initiation fee. So while I administer the oath of loyalty to the club and to its principles, Lovey, will you get Gilligan how own private club blazer?

Professor: Congratulations. Put her there. Gilligan: No. I just remember what Mr. Howell said when you're rich everybody's got their hand out. Skipper: Oh for Pete's sake, Gilligan. Shake hands.