Gilligan's Island

Thurston: I'm going to ask some pointed questions which will prove conclusively which is the real Mr. Howell. Impostor: All right. Fire when ready. Thurston: All right. Now what is your favorite reading material? Impostor: The social registry. You might even say it's our family Bible. Gilligan: Yep. That's Mr. Howell, all right. Thurston: All right, now, try this one. Tell me, what is your favorite exclusive club? Impostor: New York Stock Exchange. Gilligan: Yep. That's Mr. Howell, all right. Thurston: Very, very cunning. If you had to give up everything in the world except your money or your wife which one would you keep? Impostor: My money, of course. Gilligan: That's Mr. Howell, all right.

Professor: Mrs. Howell, how is he? Lovey: All the talks about is losing his money. I think he's is dire need of a psychiatrist. Professor: Well I don't profess to be a psychiatrist, Mrs. Howell. However, I do hold a master's degree in psychology. Lovey: Oh I wish you'd speak to him, Professor. After all, money isn't everything especially when one has diamonds and real estate.

Skipper: Gilligan, don't just stand there daydreaming, get to work. Gilligan: Skipper, I still think those wings would have worked. For a couple of seconds there, I felt lighter than air. Skipper: With that head of yours, you are lighter than air.

Ginger: We'll have a big, noisy musical comedy show and I'll wear one of those skimpy little costumes and that's sure to attract any airline pilot that's passing overhead. Mary Ann: You're kidding. They fly at 20,000 feet. Ginger: Well so what? When it comes to girls in skimpy costumes airline pilots have radar.

Lovey: Thurston, you must never do that again. Swimming to the mainland simply isn't practical. Especially at this time of year when the water's so cold. Thurston: That impostor will ruin me. Reduce me to a pauper. Lovey: Well after all, you have some money here on the island. Thurston: Money. A few hundred thousand dollars. That's petty cash. Back home, that's interest on my interest.