Gilmore Girls

(Lorelai gives her room to some guest and she is without bed) Lorelai: How much room do you take up on that couch there, Fred Junior? Junior: Pretty much all of it. Lorelai: That's what I figured...

(While sitting at Miss Patty's, enduring a tediously done rendition of Poe's "The Raven") Lorelai: At least if I had brought a flask, we could have played the nevermore drinking game. Rory: Oh, maybe this is what drove Poe to the bottle. Lorelai: His own work.

Kirk: Good morning, ladies. May I interest you in a shirt? Lorelai: Aw, Kirk, you're not selling your laundry again, are you? Luke: No solicitors, Kirk. Kirk: How about if I cut you in for a piece of the action? Luke: How about I toss the shirts out the door first so you can have something to land on?

Miss Patty: (when a recitation of "The Raven" is dragging on too long) Poor Edgar Allan Poe has suffered so much. And now we've gotta suffer along with him.

Rory: You need to start taking calls from people, you need to check the mail so that you can see the other millions of universities that have no doubt accepted you and that are probably dying to be in the Paris Geller business.

Rory: I got to go. But page me if there's any news or anything. Lorelai: Ok. You mean like if Michel killed Babette, then Miss Patty, then himself in a bizarre murder-murder-suicide pact? Rory: Amongst other things.

Lorelai: You all set up here? Michel: Computer with internet, phones forwarded here and printer is on the way. Miss Patty: And I'm the receptionist. Babbette: And I'm learning the computer. Michel: And I'm looking for my cyanide capsule. Have you seen it?

Michel: You've got to shorten your greeting. Miss Patty: What? Michel: You don't need to recite the Gettysburg Address every time you answer the phone. Miss Patty: I was Ricardo Montalban's receptionist for 6 months and he never complained. Michel: Who? Miss Patty: Don't make me hit you.

Lorelai: What's with the Poes? Rory: They look upset. Miss Patty: Want to hear the scoop? Lorelai: Please. Miss Patty: I was here when they both arrived. They got their signals crossed. They were supposed to perform different things. But they both came to do "The Raven". Lorelai: If the Poes start fighting, does that punch a hole in the space/time continuum? Rory: And throw us into a universe where everything is the exact opposite of what it is here?

Luke: You know how Jess works at Wal-Mart. Lorelai: Yes I do. Luke: It seems he was actually chosen employee of the month. Lorelai: Really? Luke: I know it sounds tiny. Lorelai: No Luke that's not tiny. That really good. Luke: There's probably hundreds of people working at that branch and they singled him out. I got a letter addressed to the family of Jess Mariano inviting me down to some little ceremony they're having. Lorelai: Are you going? Luke: He'd hate it if I was there. He's have me seeing him participate in some corporate ceremony like that. Being called upstanding and responsible. It would kill him. Yeah I'm going. Lorelai: Good boy.

Rory: Look at my wall. Lorelai: So? Rory: So, that wall says something. Lorelai: Yeah, it says the Harvard merchandising department made a nice chunk of change off of us.

Lorelai: You checked the Cheshire Cat, the Maiden's Teacup, the Cookie House, the Sugarbear Inn? Michel: Every place that sounds like Glinda the Good Witch threw up, yes...all booked.

Lorelai: Oh, is this everyone from the Edgar Allen Poe Society? Michel: If you mean the I-should-be-sterilized-so-that-my-disturbing-idiosyncrasies-aren't-passed-onto-the-next-generation society, then yes, that's them.

Babette: Hey Michel, I just hit F4 and the Num Lock key and the one with the little apple on it and it's freakin' out like it's on acid or something!

Jess: What are you doing here? Luke: I'm so proud of my boy. Jess: Stop it. Luke: Do you have a tissue, because I think I'm going to be emotional. Jess: I mean it! Stop now! It came with cash. That's the only reason I'm here. Luke: Don't forget the plaque! You should hang that over your bed, shine a little spotlight over it. Jess: I gotta bet back to work. (Jess walks away) Luke: (calls after him) Yeah, the forklift's going, "Where's the extension of me?"