Gilmore Girls Season 6 Episode 15

Lorelai: This is fun!
Rory: You have got to stop doing that.
Lorelai: I love the squishy feeling.
Rory: You're going to over-mash them.
Lorelai: Is there such a thing as over-mashing potatoes?
Rory: Yes, it's called potato soup.
Lorelai: You know, you can put on the apron and shout out things like 'dice the carrots' but implying that you can over-mash potatoes proves you're a phony.
Rory: You're the one who thought the potato masher was a waffle shaper before I corrected you.
Lorelai: Ow. I think I'm giving myself mashed potato elbow. Would you like more chef's juice?
Rory: More wine would be great.

(Lorelai walks out into the kitchen and gapes at the sight of Rory cooking)
Lorelai: I'm sorry, but this picture just does not compute.
Rory: Stop.
Lorelai: You're wielding a knife! That's verboten in Gilmore world.
Rory: You forget that I'm a rebel.
Lorelai: And you're wearing an apron!
Rory: It's so my clothes don't get wrecked!
Lorelai: You have not worn an apron since you saw the Sound of Music and you put one on so you'd look like Sister Maria, and you made a big crucifix out of Popsicle sticks. (Rory laughs and gets something from a drawer) Wow.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: You just went to that drawer and got that thingamabob out of there like that's what you intended all along.
Rory: It was.
Lorelai: You know where things are.
Rory: I've cooked here before.
Lorelai: I may need to be resuscitated.
Rory: Okay, do you want to help or you want to keep on the riff?
Lorelai: I want to help!
Rory: Okay. Logan is taking care of the lobsters for us outside, and I am making a salad, mashed potatoes and Bruschetta.
Lorelai: Huh. What's this? (She picks up a utensil and waves it around)
Rory (takes it away): It's a garlic press.
Lorelai (picks up a huge knife and stabs the air): This would definitely do a foot.
Rory: Step away from the knife.
Lorelai: What's this?
Rory: That's a lemon zester.
Lorelai: Let me zest a lemon.
(Luke comes in)
Rory: No.
Lorelai: Well, I get to do something!
Rory: But you can't just grab things. Hi Luke!
Luke: Hey.
Rory (to Lorelai): Wash your hands and I'll give you a task.
Lorelai: Excellent.
Luke: Food looks good!
Lorelai: Rory's going to let me chop something!
Luke: Is that wise?
Rory: I did not say chop.
Lorelai: All right, I'm all ready.
Rory: Okay, chop the celery. (hands her a dinner knife)
Lorelai: Yay! (She sees the knife Rory is handing her) Oh, that's a dinner knife.
Rory: Well, be very careful, please. (She hands her the large knife)
Lorelai: I am Mario Batali and Ina Garten's love child.
Rory: Logan's outside dealing with the lobsters if you want to join him. He was very nice, by the way. He kept them very well hidden from me when they were, let's just say, not dead.
Lorelai: Not dead? Ugh. I don't like behind the scenes food stuff.
Luke: I'll see what's going on out there. (he leaves)
Rory: What did you mean, it would do a foot?

(Logan and Luke come from playing Basketball. Lorelai and Rory are both sitting on a bench getting a shoulder massage from two guys)
Logan: Hey, guys. What's going on?
Lorelai: Oh, wow. I was like in a Zen trance, I was totally somewhere else!
Rory: Me too! I was in Greece. Where were you?
Lorelai: Bergdorf Goodman.
Rory: When you reach a Zen trance you go to Bergdorf Goodman?
Lorelai: To each his own. Thanks, Ron, Jerry.
Rory: Yeah, thanks guys!
(The guys leave)
Logan: I didn't know the gym had masseurs.
Rory: They don't.
Lorelai: No, Ron and Jerry work for the laundry service. But they missed their calling.
Luke: You got laundry guys to give you a massage?
Rory: Never underestimate the persuasive powers of Lorelai Gilmore.

Lorelai: Where are you going?
Rory: The gym.
Lorelai: I'm sorry, the ocean's awfully loud down here. Where did you say you were going?
Rory: The gym.
Lorelai: Sorry, the ocean is so loud.
Rory: Stop it! We like to hit the gym when we're here.
Lorelai: I cannot picture this!
Rory: Well, stop mocking 'cause it's a good thing.
Lorelai: I want to go just to see you at a gym! (To Luke)You want to go?
Luke: Sure, I'll go.
Rory: Cool, let's go.
Lorelai: Great! Let's all go to the gym! That'll never stop being funny.

(Logan and Rory are sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner while Luke and Lorelai are getting breakfast)
Rory: You've got to read faster.
Logan: I read at my own pace, regardless of peer pressure.
Rory: But my article is continued in the section you've been reading since before John wrote his gospel.
Logan: I keep telling her we need to buy two papers!
Rory: That's wasteful. We don't need two papers.
Logan: We need them for the health of the relationship. (Rory snatches the section from him) There's your proof. We got eggs and stuff, too, Luke.
Lorelai (to Luke): You still hungry?
Rory: Still? You guys eat?
Luke: No, we just ate a big dinner last night.
Lorelai: Right. Hey, why don't we take a little walk first? Huh? The beach is deserted, we'll have the whole thing to ourselves.
Luke: Okay.
Logan: You might want a coat.
Luke: I'm fine.
Logan: Cool.
Lorelai: We won't be long.
(Logan snatches the section back from Rory)
Rory: Drat.
Logan: You snooze, you lose.

Lorelai: So, nice digs, huh?
Luke: Kind of dark to see.
Lorelai: Well, I saw the weather forecast. They're predicting light in the morning.

Logan: Hey, there's our intrepid travelers.
Lorelai: Hi, Logan.
Logan: Welcome. And this must be Luke?
Lorelai: Oh, no, I dumped Luke. This is Clem, I picked him up at a truck stop on ninety-five. We were at the register paying for our blue plates and our hands reached for the same Dixie Chicks cassette -

Lorelai: Now, what else, what else, what else? The first people on the island of Martha's Vineyard were Indians. Of the Wampanoag tribe. This tribe still makes up a large part of the town originally called Gayhead. Hmm. Figures. The Indians survived poverty and disease, then get stuck living in a place called Gayhead.

Rory: What's with the flaming accordion in the background there?
Lorelai: Oh, it's my new friend BooZoo, which is Cajun for 'won't leave'.

Logan: This weekend's Valentine's weekend! Come on, let's go somewhere.
Rory: I can't.
Logan: Rory.
Rory: Even if I did get time away, I promised my mom I'd try to hang out with her even if it was just for dinner. I haven't seen her in ages.
Logan: But she doesn't kiss as good as I do.
Rory: You don't know that.
Logan: True.
Rory: No, she's just been a little down lately. I kind of want to cheer her up.
Logan: Well, then, invite her along. We can have a kissing contest.

Logan: How long you been up?
Rory: Five hours, four cups of coffee, two bagels.
Logan: No partridge? No pear tree?

Lorelai: And you've got room and all, me and Luke plus five?
Rory: Plus five?
Lorelai: Well, I'm not coming without Boozo and the boys!

Bill: Professor Wallace wants a correction to the interview we printed with him. He wants to clarify that he in fact referred to his departments problems with the advisory board as a quote, us-and them thing, unquote.
Rory: What did we print?
Bill: S and M thing.

Lorelai: What is it about cucumber water that makes it so much more refreshing than non-cucumber water?
Rory: I think it's the cucumbers.

(as they enter Luke and Lorelai's guest room)
Rory: We call it the king and queen suite.
Lorelai: Why?
Rory: Because you're our honored guests and I just named it that a second ago.

Luke: You know I love you right?
Lorelai: I really need to hear that once in a while!
Luke: I love you and I'm going to marry you, and at our wedding, we are having lobster.