Gilmore Girls Season 4 Episode 4

Rory: (about her haircut) Do you like it?
Lorelai: Will you change it back if I don't?
Rory: Mom!
Lorelai: Yes, I like it.

(Upon entering the house and setting the alarm off)
Rory: Is that the smoke detector? Are we on fire?

Dean: Chicken or beef?
Rory: What?
Dean: Wait, beef. Of course, beef. I mean, the two of you are definitely beef. I mean, not like you resemble beef or anything.

Lorelai: You know what, I've learned something very valuable here today. Come on in. Sit down there. Take a load off. Very valuable.
Luke: Good.
Lorelai: I've had a business epiphany. It's like I'm Bud Fox, saying, "Thanks for the lesson, Mr. Gekko."
Luke: This will pass, folks.
Lorelai: The Lorelai you knew is dead. Remember her? The eager to please, fresh of face? She thought that success in business meant working hard, applying yourself, and respecting your co-workers, and she preached that to others - oh, little child.
Luke: You should probably get some rest.
Lorelai: It's about scratching backs, my friend, and kissing things - I won't be graphic.
Luke: It is Sunday morning.
Lorelai: It's dirty, that's what business is. It's smoke-filled back rooms with exposed pipes and shady players chewing on fat cigars and twirling their dirty mustaches. And when you go into those rooms, you can't be a milquetoast muppet. You have to have pointy teeth and jaws that snap. The meek shall not inherit the earth!
Luke: Thanks for the perspective.
Lorelai: Do you have any coffee?
Luke: I'm not giving you coffee.

Rory: So which one do I follow?
Lorelai: Which one looks more intentional?
Rory: No post-it path looks intentional.

Sookie: (to Michel) You called me. You kept me on the phone for over an hour. I missed the beginning of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. By the time I got back, they were all gay.

Luke: There is no fate. There is no destiny. There is no luck. Astrology is ridiculous. Tarot cards tell you nothing. You cannot read a palm. Tea leaves make tea and nothing else. Jim Morrison is not hanging out with Elvis and the Kennedys did not kill Marilyn.

Kyle: I'm in the Navy now, you know. My older cousins did two-year stints. It paid for their college and stuff, so I joined up. Of course, we weren't fighting international skirmishes on two or three dangerous fronts like we are now...

Lorelai: And apparently, now that I'm the pretty spinster living all alone, he's concerned for my safety.
Rory: Did he tell you all this?
Lorelai: Do you think I labeled myself the pretty spinster?

Taylor: Running water was not always historical.
Lorelai: You're not seriously telling me I can't put in running water?
Rory: Oh, my God, this is incredible. It's called chocolate chocolate chocolate, but it's seriously chocolate chocolate chocolaty.

Lorelai: Uh, this, uh, call is coming from the house.
Rory: Our house?
Lorelai: It's flashing our number.
Rory: But we're here.
Lorelai: I know. That's the weird part.

Lorelai: We have a new mail carrier.
Rory: We do?
Lorelai: Yeah. So now, if you want your mail, you just have to go to Miss Patty's.
Rory: Why?
Lorelai: 'Cause that's where he brings it. He brings Babette's mail to Andrew's. Norman's mail to the deli, and Taylor still hasn't found his mail yet, which I have to admit is kind of fun.

Dean: I just didn't want you to think...
Rory: Oh, no, I didn't think, I don't think. I go to Yale now. They think for you.