Gilmore Girls

(talking about Dean) Lorelai: Do you know him? Rory: (answering quickly) No. Lorelai: No? Rory: Well, he goes to my old school, so i see him there sometimes...but um...I go to Chilton now. Lorelai: Thanks for the update. (Lorelai walks away) Rory: You're welcome.

(Rory opens Babette's front door, Dean comes in) Dean: Oh hi! I wasn't expecting you. Rory: Or me you. I mean, you me. I mean, come on in you.

Lorelai: (about some homemade lemonade) Mmm... tasty and flame retardant.

Miss Patty: OH Babette! I came as soon as I heard (squeezes her into a hug). What do you need? Babette: (choking) A little air honey!

Dean: Hey, uh, do you have a second? Rory: No, I have gum. Dean: No, thanks. Uh, look... Rory: I have to get back. Dean: Oh. Ok, uh sure. I'll see you later...

Michel: Hello? Hello? Where is Lorelai? I am dropping something off. Yoohoo, Hee Haw man, where's Lorelai Gilmore?

Emily: A funeral? Whose? Lorelai: It was for the neighbors', uh, cat. (silence) Mom? Emily: Hold on. I'm looking up "aneurysm" in our medical dictionary to see if I just had one.

Emily: If I wanted to talk to a machine, I'd talk to my VCR.

Lorelai: I kept information from you. Rory: Information that I should have had. Lorelai: Information that would've come out eventually like the Iran-Contra scandal. Rory: So you're Oliver North. Lorelai: No, I'm Fawn Hall. Rory: Mom. Lorelai: She was much prettier.

Rory: And when were you planning on telling me about this? On your wedding? Lorelai: No, by the rehearsal dinner at least.

Lorelai: That man on the porch was your teacher. Rory: Mom, I'm a little behind in school, but not so behind that I don't know who the teacher is.

Lorelai: How does Morey get around in here? Babette: Oh, just fine. He had a couple concussions his first year here. But he never complains.

Lorelai: (looking at Cinnamon's pill bottles) Wow. It's like a scene from the kitty version of Valley of the Dolls.

Sookie: Is that meatloaf? Luke: Yeah. Sookie: You use ketchup? Luke: You gonna make fun of my mother, too?

Lorelai: Call me, and we'll reschedule. I-I promise that's what I want. Max: Are you sure? Lorelai: Cross my heart and hope that no other neighborhood pets die on that day.

Michel: You are mourning a cat? Lorelai: Yes. Michel: They lick their privates, these cats. Lorelai: Not the comforting chit-chat we're looking for.

Lane: They said that they rolled her body into a lamp. (Rory nods) Lane: Did you laugh? (Rory shakes her head) Lane: Did you want to? (Rory nods)

Babette: (referring to Cinnamon) She looked like she was sleeping. I thought she was asleep, so I nudged her and she didn't wake. I gave her a push and she fell off the couch, and since I'd just waxed the floor, she went shooting across the room. And then she knocked over the lamp and she still didn't move. I knew it was over. Oh, God, my baby.

Luke: Sookie! Sookie: Hey, I was looking for your paprika. Luke: Hey, what have I said about the counter? Sookie: I know. Luke: How the counter is a sacred space, my sacred space. You don't do yoga on the Dalai Lama's mat. And you don't come behind my counter. Period! Sookie: I was trying to help! Luke: (to Lorelai) You bring her again, I want her on a leash! I mean it.

Lorelai: Plus, it would be great to get, you know. Sookie: What? Lorelai: You know. Sookie: No, I don't. Lorelai: You know. (indicating the man sitting next to her) He knows. Sookie: (to the man sitting next to Lorelai) You know? Man: Yeah, I know.

Lorelai: Just take the card. Max: I might frame the card. Lorelai: Just use the card. Max: I definitely will.

Max: But Rory is not a baby anymore. Lorelai: Oh, don't say that. She's eight! She's eight, and her favorite hobby is making necklaces out of gum wrappers. Max: Well, you could try stunting her growth, keeping her in a box, blowing cigarette smoke on her.

Miss Patty: Rory! Hello. Try a plum. They're better than sex. Rory: Um, no, thanks. Miss Patty: Fresh fruit always has such a, tch, a sensuality about it. Are you too young for this? Rory: Definitely. Miss Patty: Well what are you here for, honey? Rory: Oh, well, I just..I just (stuttering). Miss Patty: Ooh, I see what you're here for (referring to Dean). Well that wouldn't fit in a basket. No, no no no. Rory: Patty! It's not like that. He's just a person. Miss Patty: A person? Rory: A boy-type person. Miss Patty: Oh, my favorite kind. Rory: I really don't even know him. Miss Patty: Oh right, you don't know him. Rory: I don't. Miss Patty: You said. Rory: Please don't say anything. Miss Patty: I promise I won't tell a single soul that you don't know that young man. Rory: Thank you. Miss Patty: You're welcome.

Rory: Okay, our town is just weird. Lorelai: Thank God.

Lorelai: Where does your mom think you are? Lane: Oh, uh, on a park bench, contemplating the reunification of the two Koreas. Lorelai: Not here, skanking to Rancid? Lane: Wouldn't be included.

Rory: Wait. Shouldn't you be baking? Lorelai: I don't know. Shouldn't you be knitting?

Emily: Oh, wait, Rudolph Gottfried. Lorelai: Another cousin? Emily: No, a Nazi we knew. I'd forgotten. We stayed with him once in Munich. Nice old man. Interesting stories. Lorelai: Mom, you-you socialized with a known Nazi? That's despicable. That's heinous. Emily: No, dear, that was a joke.

Emily: So you're not going? Lorelai: Not this time. Emily: I don't think Claudia's planning to die a second time.

Michel: I don't know how many French people you've met over the years, but most of them are insufferable. Lorelai: Really! Michel: That is why I left France. Lorelai: Huh. I thought it had something to do with the torches, and the villagers.

Veterinarian: It wasn't the clams, Maury... in human years, this cat was 260 years old.

Babette: Cinnamon's dyspeptic. So's Maury. Too many clams. Maury: Baaad clams! Babette: This doesn't reflect well on Al's establishment... Lane: You had clams at Al's? Rory: Al's Pancake World? Babette: Yeah, well, we had coupons...

Michel: Fine, I shall be French, but I shall not be happy. Lorelai: Then you will be yourself. Good choice! (pats him on the back)

(After Lorelai is snippy to her) Rory: Ooooh, she's cranky this morning. Lorelai: Let's just say the world's got a formidable opponent.

Dean: Well, I've been kind of bugging you lately. Uh, I thought -- I don't know -- I thought that maybe you liked me. But it's obvious that you're not interested so I just wanted to say that I get it and I'm not gonna bother you anymore. (Dean starts to leave, Rory gets up to follow him) Rory: Wait! I am interested. Dean: You are? Rory: Yes. I gotta go.

Lorelai: (to Max) I'm going to be in town tomorrow because I take a class at Hartford State and there's a coffee shop across the street that I sometimes, almost all the time, go to around 4:00 and usually exactly 4:12. I could not stop a person from entering said establishment around that time, nor would I avoid them if I knew them if they did.

Lorelai: Life is a funny funny thing, huh? Sookie: Yeah I love that Jim Carrey. Lorelai: What? Sookie: Jim Carrey. He's just -- he's just -- funny. Lorelai: He is funny but I didn't mean funny, funny. I'm being philosophical. Sookie: Oh. Very serious face. Jean-Paul Sartre.

Mr. Medina: I think we should date. Lorelai: Why? Mr. Medina: Because I think we both want to. Lorelai: Well I want to be in the Bangles but that doesn't mean I quit my job and get a guitar and ruin my life to be a Bangle, does it? Mr. Medina: The Bangles broke up. Lorelai: Yeah, that's not the point.

(Emily on the phone with Lorelai after finding out that Lorelai attended a cat's wake instead of her unknown cousin's funeral) Lorelai: It's late, I have a big day tomorrow. Emily: You're going to a raccoon's wedding?

(French group arriving at the Inn, one of them talking to Michel in French) Michel: Sir, I'm just a simple country boy from Texas. I do not understand this francais business you're babbling about.

Max: How about coffee? You like coffee? Lorelai: Only with my oxygen.