Gilmore Girls

(in Lorelai's flashback as she's being wheeled to the delivery room) Emily: You're having a baby. Do you know that Lorelai? Young Lorelai: Well that explains the stomach ache.

Lorelai: So, you spend 15 minutes talking to Dad and then you hang up the phone, and you...what? Watch television? Emily: I don't watch that much television. I don't find forensic work quite as fascinating as the rest of the world.

Sherry: It wasn't supposed to happen this way. Christopher was supposed to be here, I wrote it down... I WROTE IT DOWN! Rory: Boy, do you look thin!

Jess: Gimme your order and get out. Dean: Service with a smile. Okay, I need four hot dogs, two with ketchup, one combo. A combo means mustard and - Jess: I know what a combo means. Dean: Sorry, guess that confused look is just how your face is. Jess: Do you wanna talk about this outside? Dean: Just as soon as I'm finished. Uh, four hot dogs. Two egg salads on white. One chicken salad on wheat. A chef's salad with ranch. Five fries. Five onion rings. Two chips. Extra pickles. Jess: On what? Dean: Excuse me? Jess:: What are the extra pickles on? Dean: On the side? Jess: On the side of what? On the side of the burgers, on the side of the sandwiches, or on the side of the road where the ditch I'm gonna dump your body into is? Dean: Just make sure there's enough for everyone. Jess: Fine Dean: Aren't you gonna read it back? Jess: Nope. Dean: Okay, but these men were hired by Taylor, which means if they aren't satisfied with their orders, they will send them back. And they will continue to send them back until they are happy, which means you could be making this order until you die. Jess: Six burgers, three with cheese- two cheddar, one Swiss. Dean: Slower, please. I'm marking it off as we go. Jess: Two plain burgers, one chili with cheese and onion on the side.

Sherry: I can't just stop everything because... Lorelai: You're having a baby. Admitting it is the first step.

Rory: I need my mommy and dammit I don't care who knows it!

Maureen: Sherry is in there, don't mention how fat she is, for some reason she's very sensitive about that right now.

Rory: He changed his mind again? Lane: I know, he's worse than my mother at the Glory of Easter t-shirt stand.

Young Christopher: (in flashback, about baby Rory) She's pretty. Young Lorelai: She's perfect. Young Christopher: I guess this means we have to get married now.

Christopher: (talking about his new baby daughter Gigi) She's perfect. Lorelai: No, Rory was perfect...this one does, however, come in at a close second.

Michel: Here's an idea...it's a retirement party, yes? Okay. So what happens after you retire? You die. So, why don't we dig a big hole, throw him in, hand everybody a shovel, they take turns covering him up. We go inside, have dinner, the wife gets used to eating alone...

Jess: If a horse-drawn carriage shows up here, my throwing up will be eternal.

Lorelai: And the second thing is, you need to tell me why you're sitting like that. Sherry: Maureen told me that Howard Stern said that if you squat, it makes the baby come out faster. Lorelai: Okay, as long as you have a sane reason from a reliable source.

Lorelai: Oh Rory, come on. Did you order from Amazon again? Because we're getting your books their own house. Rory: I didn't, I swear. Lorelai: It's from my mother. Rory: What is it? Lorelai: It's heavy. It must be her hopes and dreams for me. Rory: I thought she discarded those years ago.

Rory: I have been cordially invited to Sherry Tinsdale's C-section. Lorelai: (gasps) No way. Rory: Friday Feb. 7 6:00pm "Join the girls for a toast, a hug, a wave to the Mommy as they wheel her off. Dinner at Sushi, Sushi and then back to the hospital for a formal viewing of brand new baby, Georgia. RSVP at your earliest convenience. P.S. Gifts are not necessary but are always appreciated." Lorelai: You have to RSVP to a C-section?

(Customer calls to change his party theme again) Lorelai: He decided the golf theme was dull. And he doesn't want to be remembered as dull. Michel: Would he like to be remembered as limping? Because I can be a fabulous help with that.

Emily: My first trip to Europe, I went to Paris and stayed at the Ritz. Lorelai: Well I'll tell you what. If it'll make you happy, we'll go to Paris and eat out of their dumpsters.

Lorelai: We want to do it cheap. Emily: We'll pay. Lorelai: No. Rory: Grandma, it's going to be fun really. Lorelai: Kids do it all the time. Emily: Yes, but you're not a kid.

Richard: What a ridiculous thought. Rory: We are. We're going to backpack around Europe. Emily: Yes ,I know it's fun to tease your grandmother dear. They're going to backpack across Europe, Richard. Richard: I heard, it sounds delightful. Perhaps we should join them. Emily: That sounds wonderful. Tomorrow I'll go out and buy some cutoffs. Lorelai: Guys, we're not kidding. Emily: You're telling me you're seriously going to traipse around Europe with your possessions strapped to your back? And sleep in a room with 30 other people? Lorelai: Yes. Richard: No, you're not. I forbid it.

Rory: I got the guide books. They have all the information about backpacking and staying in Hostels. Emily: Backpacking and staying in Hostels? Richard: Who's backpacking and staying in Hostels? Rory: We are. (Richard and Emily burst out laughing) Emily: No, you're not.

Lorelai: Tell Sherry to keep her legs crossed 'til I get there. Rory: Does that work? Lorelai: No. Bye.

Emily: I'm not an invalid, Lorelai. Lorelai: Well, of course you are, Mother. Why else would I suggest a DVD player?

Paris: Okay, everyone, gather around. I have in my hand the 2002 Franklin Yearbook photos. I got copies for everyone, so let's leave the Barney's clearance sale reenactment for another day, shall we?

Emily: What are people going to think when they see a grown woman bunking down with a bunch of twenty-year-olds? Lorelai: Well, if the twenty-year-olds are cute, they'll probably think, "Lucky!"

Lorelai: Oh no, it's raining in Spain! But since the rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain... Rory: ...looks like Italy for us. Lorelai: Mamma Mia!

Emily: You do not just leave a note. You call and say: "Mom, I'm in labor. Will you please drive me to the damned hospital?!"

Young Lorelai: Okay, this is a big pain and I'd really like it to go away, please. Nurse: Just breathe deep, honey. Young Lorelai: Breathing doesn't help. Can I hit you instead? Nurse: What? Young Lorelai: Or pinch you really hard, 'cause that might make me feel better. Nurse: No, you cannot hit me. Young Lorelai: Can I bite you, or pull your hair, or use the Epilady on you 'cause I really need to do something.