Gilmore Girls

Lorelai and Rory enter the diner to find Luke in ill humor. Several families with babies have filled the diner. Luke complains that they take up all the tables all morning and order two ice teas to go. He finally decides to ask them to leave but when he goes to talk to them, one of the women begins to nurse her baby. He turns back to Lorelai and begins to complain that this is indecent behavior…
Luke: I have to do something. I just can't stand here and let the lactating continue.

Lorelai: Luke.

Rory: Gross!

Luke: I'm gross? I'm not the one exposing myself for the entire world to see. That's it.

(Luke goes to stop the woman but turns back to Lorelai)

Luke: You go make her stop.

Lorelai: (Chuckling)I'm not going over there.

Luke: Why not? You're a woman.

Lorelai: So what?

Luke: So you have the same parts.

Lorelai: What?

Luke: You shouldn't be scared of it.

Lorelai: Scared of it? You know, you're gonna be a bachelor for a really long time. (Lorelai is enjoying Luke's discomfiture)

Luke: I am being taken advantage of here, and I do not like being taken advantage of. I hate this!
At that moment, Jess comes down into the diner, sees the nursing mother and rushes back upstairs appalled by the sight. Luke enjoys Jess' reaction and gets back to work.
Lorelai is at the front desk of the Independence Inn when the phone rings. It is Emily phoning to see if Lorelai would like to attend the Society Matron's League's annual antique auction. Emily suggests there may be some nice pieces that she could use for the Inn. Lorelai tells Emily that she will think about it but always one to exert pressure, Emily tells her that she will see her on Tuesday. Michel immediately begins to question Lorelai about the auction and suggests bidding strategies. Lorelai shows no interest so Michel begs her to take him to the auction. Lorelai is a bit surprised by his enthusiasm but soon figures out a way to exploit it. Lorelai get Michel to agree to work on weekends for the rest of the month, he has to answer the phone in English and he has to take the hikers out the coming week, including allowing them to give him a "nature nickname." (Lorelai favors "Buttercup.") He finally agrees to all terms and Lorelai allows him to go to the auction.
Lorelai and Rory arrive home with pizza in hand. Rory goes in to the house to put more cheese on the pizza and Lorelai goes to pick up the mail. A new neighbor, Dwight, approaches Lorelai and introduces himself. She finds out that he just purchased Beenie Morrison's place. Lorelai introduces herself and graciously offers to help if he ever needs it. To her surprise, he immediately asks her for a favor. Since he is going on a trip, he asks Lorelai to water his new lawn. Dwight takes Lorelai to his house to show her how the sprinklers work. While there, Dwight fills Lorelai in on the details of a rather disturbing marriage. Lorelai extricates herself from the impromptu gardening lesson as quickly as she is able.
At the auction, Lorelai looks through the auction catalogue while Michel carefully monitors the bidding. Lorelai is not impressed with anything in the catalogue but Michel explains that one must be patient until the right piece comes up. Soon Emily comes by; she asks Lorelai why she didn't acknowledge her wave earlier. Lorelai explains that waving at an auction is dangerous. She tells Emily that with her wave she purchased a motorcycle and sidecar. One of Emily's friends, Natalie, walks up and praises Emily for saving the event from failure. They chat for a while until both Natalie and Emily take their leave. When Michel refuses to let Lorelai take part in the bidding, she goes to the bar to get a drink. A very handsome man orders a merlot. Lorelai tells the bartender that she will also have one but the bartender tells them he only has enough for one glass. Lorelai begins some flirty bidding for the last glass and the handsome fellow follows suit. Finally the good-looking guy pours half of the merlot into Lorelai's glass and the problem is solved. After a bit more flirting the good-looking guy leaves for the auction. Lorelai tips the bartender and leaves.
At Lorelai's house, Rory finds her mother trying to find out the name and phone number of the good-looking guy. The incredible tale she is spinning in order to get the information isn't working and she hangs up. Rory teases her a bit about her tactics and suggests she ask Emily. Lorelai asks Rory to ask her but Rory refuses all bribes.
At Friday night dinner, the family engages in the standard dinner conversation until Rory brings up the topic of the auction. She prods her mother to ask Emily about the guy with an oblique reference to the good time Lorelai had at the auction. When Rory continues to prod, Lorelai finally asks Emily if she knows a young guy she met. After Lorelai tells her the number of his paddle was seventeen, Emily looked it up and tells her it was Peyton Sanders.
The next morning, Lorelai and Rory are running around getting ready to go to Luke's before they have to go to the Inn and school. Lorelai realizes that she has to go water Dwight's lawn. Rory is worried that she will miss both her breakfast and her bus but Lorelai tells her she will drive her to school and they rush off to Dwight's.
At Dwight's, Lorelai turns the sprinkler on while Rory checks a white envelope left on the porch. Lorelai begs her to leave it unopened but Rory takes a look to find further instructions from Dwight. He asks them to water his African violets in the house. They find a rather strange and tacky interior. Lorelai's cell rings…it is Peyton Sanders returning her call. They make arrangements to go to a David Bowie concert next week. He suggests that it is a long time to wait so they make arrangements to go for dinner the next day.
The next day, Lorelai is trying on several different outfits for her date with Peyton while Rory studies on the bed. While Lorelai searches for the perfect combination of skirt and top, she tells Rory she is facing a quandary…
Lorelai: Well, you know, I only saw this guy once for like ten minutes and the lighting was only so-so and I hadn't eaten anything, and, like, what if I'm remembering him a lot cuter than he was?

Rory: I'm sure you're not.

Lorelai: Yeah, but what if I am? You know how these things are. You get bored, you need a diversion, so you superimpose a really cute guy's face over a really scary looking guy.

Rory: Well, then you'll just have to strike up a conversation with him and find out what kind of a man he is beneath the surface.
She finishes dressing just as his fancy car drives up. Before she answers the door, Lorelai tells Rory if he has a horn growing out of his head she will call her with some terrible illness so she can cut the date short. Lorelai answers the door and is very pleased with what she sees. She tells Rory quietly that she is feeling fine so a call will be unecessary.
Later in the evening, Lorelai wakes Rory to tell her that the date was a bust…that he was a total bore with no personality. Lorelai tells her that she isn't going to the David Bowie concert with Peyton because she couldn't stand another evening with him.
At the front desk, Michel informs Lorelai that Emily called to tell her that there was a mix up with the delivery of the lamps they purchased. The Inn's lamp was delivered to her house and her lamp was delivered to the Inn. Lorelai decides she can exchange the lamps when she does some errands. When she delivers the lamp to her mom's house, Emily drags her in for a visit. There she questions Lorelai about her date with Peyton. Emily is obviously pleased with the match up. Lorelai explains that they really didn't hit it off that well and there probably won't be a second date. Although Emily wishes to argue the point, Lorelai terminates the discussion and heads out to pick up Rory.
While Lorelai and Rory are at the diner, Lorelai receives a call from Dwight asking them to give the lawn an extra watering. Lorelai has to run to the Independence and asks Rory to do it. Reluctantly, Rory agrees to do it. After Rory leaves, Lorelai gets a call on her cell phone. It is Richard wanting to discuss the damage done when Lorelai refused to go on another date with Peyton. Lorelai tells him in no uncertain terms her love life is not up for discussion, but Richard insists that she has placed her mother in a compromising social situation. After giving her choice examples of bizarre grudges the women have held over tiny slights in the past, he insists the situation must be rectified for his wife's sake and he hangs up.
At Dwight's house, Rory has finished the watering and attempts to turn off the sprinklers but turns them the wrong way. She tries to turn them off but is unsuccessful. After getting totally soaked, she pulls out her pager and attempts to call Dean. When she gets no response, she runs looking for help. As she rounds the corner, she bumps into Jess. Although Rory is not particularly forthcoming, Jess finds out what has made her sopping wet. He runs off to turn the sprinkler off.
Rory: You don't have to do this. I didn't ask you to do this. I can just find someone else to do it. (Jess turns off the sprinkler) Aw, you made it look so easy.

Jess: Yeah, it was loose. You just had to press down and give it a good twist, that's all.

Rory: Well, thank you.

Jess: You're welcome. So things are good?

Rory: Oh, yeah, really good.

Jess: School?

Rory: Good.

Jess: Still gonna do the Harvard thing?

Rory: Yeah.

Jess: Good.

Rory: Yeah, good. So. . . My pager.
Jess realizes it is Dean calling and he makes a graceful exit, thoughtfully turning the sprinklers back on so that Dean will have his chance to "save" her.
At Friday night dinner, Lorelai receives a rather cool reception from Emily. She tries to make peace by explaining that she didn't understand how dating Peyton would affect her. She apologizes but tells Emily that Peyton had a terrible time as well.
Lorelai: …And, by the way, not just for me – it was pretty bad for him, too. It wasn't like he was in love and I was miserable. We were both in pain – deep pain, Marathon Man kind of pain. But despite all of this horrible pain that we were both in, and would be in again if we had to spend one more second together, if you really want me to, I will go to the Bowie concert with him.

Emily: Well, your saying that means a lot.

Lorelai: Hm.

Emily: Thank you, Lorelai. Borrow Rory's sweater when you go. (She leaves the room)

Lorelai: (Rolls her eyes and sings) Ground control to Major Tom. . .