-
Lorelai: So what do we do?
Luke: I'm gonna talk to TJ. But I'm going to be smart about it, I'm not going to spook him. I'm going to be like Michael Corleone dealing with that slimy brother-in-law of his. Get a couple of tickets to a ballgame. Invite him along and we'll talk about the beer and the hot dogs we're going to eat, and then I'm going to get him to admit that he did this. And then when we get in the car on the way to the ball park I'm going to put a rope around his neck and pull it 'till he's dead!
Lorelai: Wait, wait. You're in the back seat?
Luke: Yes, it's best for garroting. Yes.
Lorelai: No, he's totally going to smell something fishy if you hop in the back seat, especially if you're driving.
Luke: No, he's not that bright. It'll work!
Lorelai: Why are you even buying the tickets? You could just sneak up on him and garrote him on the street, save you the money!
Luke: I could still go to the game the other way! I'll take my friend Ed. He hasn't been to a game in ages.
-
Luke: We're just about done.
Lorelai: Done with what?
Luke: Sizing the situation.
Lorelai: What situation?
Luke: About how many silent joists we need to carry up.
Lorelai: What's a joist?
Luke: The things that support the load.
Lorelai: What load?
Luke: The load from the extension.
Lorelai: Okay, this has officially become the worst first draft of "Who's on First" in history.
Luke: It's about enlarging the bedroom. To live here.
Lorelai: Here? You want to live here?
Luke: Sure. I don't have a lot of stuff. We just need a little more closet space, a bigger bathroom, a bigger bedroom.
Lorelai: I've always wanted a bigger bedroom!
Luke: Well, it looks like we can do it.
Lorelai: Well, what about the Twickham house?
Luke: Too damn big. We can get along fine here for a while. Maybe forever. It's a great house. You love this house.
Lorelai: I do love this house!
Luke: I know. I figured that out from your sudden interest in laying down tracks and becoming a painter.
Lorelai: Come down here so I can kiss you! All of you.
-
Lorelai: Hole!
Luke: What? (Sees hole in Lorelai's bedroom wall) Oh.
Lorelai: Hole! Dirt!
Luke: What?
Lorelai: Dirt! Floor!
Luke: Okay, speak in sentences. Oh. (Pause) Him.
Lorelai: Him?
Luke: Him. Kill.
Lorelai: Luke, what is going on? Who did this?
Luke: T.J.
Lorelai: T.J.'s a carpenter?
Luke: No. Kill.
Lorelai: Why would you let T.J. help out on this?
Luke: Liz was in the diner, and she sat there and stared at me, and then she started to cry, and then I kicked her out and she stood outside crying and I just said OK!
-
Rory: May I?
Esperanza: Sí.
Rory: Esperanza, right?
Esperanza: Sí, Esperanza.
Rory: Tu nombre es muy bonito.
Esperanza: ¿Hablas español?
Rory: Um, no hablo bien, y no hablo mucho.
Esperanza: Lo hablas muy bien.
Rory: ¿De dónde eres?
Esperanza: De Guatemala.
Rory: Guatemala! ¿Tienes familia allí?
Esperanza: Oh, sí, tengo mucha familia, y quiero traer a mi mamá aquí.
Rory: ¿Oh, sí? ¿Y cuántos años tine tu mamá?
Esperanza: 72 años.
Rory: Oh.
Esperanza: (Chuckles)
Rory: ¿Le gusta ver fútbol en la televisión o le gusta jugar?
Emily: Rory!
-
Lorelai: (to Paul Anka in the car) You locked the door? Dude, come on!... I mean, I've got the key, but I'm really curious how you did this.
-
(Both looking at the house Luke wants to buy)
Lorelai: It's big.
Sookie: That's what she said.
Lorelai: Good one.
Sookie: Hey! I'm still 12!
-
(talking about giving T.J. a carpentry job)
Liz: Luke! His life depends on it.
Luke: How?
Liz: Because if he doesn't get his ass out of the house and work more I'm going to kill him.
-
T.J.: Well, is it okay if I give out my card to any inquiring party?
(he hands Luke a card)
Luke: Sure. If they inquire, I'll give them a card. he looks at the card) You crossed out 'Ralph's Shoe Repair' and wrote in 'A.J. Construction'. That's your card?
T.J.: I don't technically have cards. So I take them from other businesses and write my own stuff in.
Luke: You want to - might want to cross out the picture of the guy shining the boot. It might confuse things.
T.J.: Thanks. (he takes the card back as Luke heads to the storeroom) What a team, uh? What a team? (to the patrons sitting at the counter) How 'bout those shelves, uh? You plus your fat cousins could sit on 'em. They wouldn't break. They're that strong.
-
Lorelai: Sookie, look at my eyes.
Sookie: Okay.
Lorelai: How do they look?
Sookie: Pretty socked in there.
Lorelai: And there they will remain. Everything's good. Promise.
Sookie: Good. Pretty eyes, too.
Lorelai: I'm taken.
Sookie: Sorry.
-
Lorelai: Repaying your debt to society, I assume.
Rory: That's what this is.
Lorelai: System already hardened you?
Rory: So I guess congratulations are in order?
Lorelai: So how are things at the new digs?
Rory: You guys set a date yet?
Lorelai: Grandma re-decorate the pool house yet?
Rory: Be sure to send me a picture!
Lorelai: Be sure to send me a change of address card! Grandma can print them out for you with a little fleur-de-lis.
Rory: I'm not supposed to be talking to outsiders.
Lorelai: Fine.
(She turns and walks away)
Rory: You and Luke getting engaged and not telling me about it? You hurt me!
Lorelai: Back at you!
-
Emily's Irish Friend: (to Rory) Oh you're going to match the drapes in our office perfectly!
-
Luke: (He shifts uncomfortably) Your mom and I are engaged.
Rory: (after a pause) Engaged?
Luke: (nodding) Yeah.
Rory: (takes a deep breath, then smiles awkwardly) Wow. (Near tears)Congratulations.
Luke: Thanks.
-
Lorelai: I think it's really sad that you've lost the little boy in you.
Luke: The little boy didn't like dogs either.
-
T.J.: I hate that you've lost the little boy in you.
Luke: Don't cry for me.