Gilmore Girls

Rory: I am not quitting the D.A.R.! Emily: Oh yes you are! As soon as possible! Rory: I had an induction ceremony! I have friends in the DAR! Emily: You do not have friends in the DAR! Like who? Rory: Tweety Halburn! Emily: You're not friends with Tweety Halburn! I'm not even friends with Tweety Halburn! Rory: We've had lunch together, I'm helping her daughter look at colleges! And I am not quitting the DAR! Emily: Oh, yes you are! Richard: So... how's Luke? Lorelai: He has a kid.

Sookie: If we ever get dog, we're going to name it chef...get it? Chef, 'cause I'm a chef. Lorelai: Cool.

Lorelai: Well you have until 6:45 Friday night, then we're having dinner with them. Rory: What? Lorelai: I made the plans last night. Rory: But... Lorelai: Come on Rory. Friday night dinners. Cocktails. Mozart. Mind games. Good times.

Logan: Oh Man. Logan grinning from ear to ear. Rory: Why are you smiling? Logan: I'm just thinking of the hundreds of different ways you owe me for this. Rory: I owe you nothing. You did this for the greater good, the glory of the paper. Logan: For a foot massage.

Logan: Wow! So this is what hard work feels like. Apparently, I've been avoiding it for a reason.

(Rory is walking through the campus, writing as she walks and not paying attention to anything else around her) Logan: Stop! (She stops a little startled and a trash can is right in front of her) Logan: Look Rory: I don't remember that being there yesterday. Logan: Yesterday you came from the other way, so you missed the trash can but you almost took out the bike rack. Rory: Thank god I have a guardian angel hanging out by a coffee kiosk. Logan: Well, its the only place that's safe to stand with a maniac like you walking around. Plus, here I am guaranteed to run into you at least three times a day. (hands her a cup) Your usual. Rory: You've been hanging out at this coffee cart everyday for a week. Logan: Yes, its sad. I am officially a wuss. If I saw me doing this, I'd beat the crap out of myself. Rory: You have nothing better to do with your time? Logan: (with a slight smile on his face) Nothing better than try to get you back? Nope Rory: You're too slick for your own good Huntzberger. Logan: Excuse me, but this is not slick. This is a Nora Ephron movie. Louie Armstrong should be worbling while we talk. So, come on, please put me out of my misery. You promised you'd let me take you to dinner. Rory: How about Thursday night? Logan: Really? Rory: Yeah, I'll have turned in my article for the Daily News and my Friday morning history class is cancelled this week. Logan: OK, great. Thursday night it is...7:30 and do not think of backing out because I will cry and eat a pint of Rocky Road while watching An Affair to Remember with Rita Wilson. Rory: Of Course. Logan: 7:30? Rory: Can't wait (she starts walking away writing her paper again not paying attention) Logan: Eyes on the road!

(Logan walks into the newspaper room and sees Rory frantically delegating) Logan: I can't believe you didn't call me. Rory: I know...but it's just paper stuff. Logan: I know, I'm on the paper. Rory: You hate it here. Logan: So what, I know this crap backwards and forwards. I can't believe you didn't even think to call me. Rory: Well...I'm sorry. I just didn't think you were interested. Logan: Well, I guess you don't know everything, now do you? So come on, what do you got here? Rory: Well, this is an article on Greenspan. He gave this interview with all this technical, economic jargon. Logan: I know the jargon. I'll take this. Are these proofed? Rory: Yeah, but they are not typed in yet. Logan: I'll do that. It will be faster. I type 90 words a minute. Rory: You do? Logan: You really did only like me for my looks, huh? How are you doing on content?

(Lorelai and Rory are standing outside Emily and Richard's) Lorelai: Once upon a time there was a big house, with thick glass windows and heavy stone walls and a slightly pornographic fountain in the driveway. And all the animals in the forest were scared of the house 'cause they thought that the house was haunted! And so did all the villagers in the small hamlet of Hartfordshire…ville. 'Maids go in but they never come out!' they would whisper on the street. How are we doing? Rory: Keep going. Lorelai: One day a beautiful young cowherderess walked by the house - Rory: Cowherderess? Lorelai: Hey, we could just go in, you know. Rory: Cowherderess is walking by. Lorelai: And suddenly she felt the unbearable need for a strand of pearls and a snifter of hundred-year-old Scotch! So, abandoning her cows, she climbed over the high walls and dropped onto the just-redone tiled walkway and rushed toward the enchanted French doors that the Queen had never been happy with because the hardware was not what she had picked and she refused to pay that idiot designer that she hired off of a recommendation and - okay, seriously, this didn't work when you were four. I am not sure why you thought it would do any good now.

Lorelai: We were 16, we didn't want to get married! Emily: When you get pregnant, you get married. A child needs a mother and a father. Lorelai: OH MY GOD!

Emily: You know, I never realized how spoiled you were, Rory, but I should have known. Only children are always spoiled!

Emily: If we had known the extent of the issue, we may not have taken Rory in. Lorelai: I tried to tell you! Emily: When? Lorelai: I came over here, and I told you exactly what Mitchum said, and you didn't want to hear it. Richard: I don't remember that! Emily: Neither do I!

Lorelai: Cut her a little slack, Mom. Rory was going through something terrible! Emily: Life is full of terrible things, Lorelai. Lorelai: She was upset. When you're upset, you don't think clearly. I remember someone who tried to buy a plane when her granddaughter moved out. Emily: I tried to timeshare a plane, it is nowhere close to being the same thing!

Lorelai: Listen, I know how much you love your grandparents, and I know how important it's been for you to have a relationship with them, and I don't want the fact that you inherited my stubbornness to screw all that up. Rory: Okay, I hear you.

Lorelai: (when Rory is being unresponsive about the issue with her grandparents) Hey, listen to me. I'm serious here. I know you and your grandparents are playing this game of "Who can freeze who out the longest," and believe me, I know that can be fun, but if you ever hope to have a relationship with them again, someone has to make the first move.

(talking about him taking Rory out to dinner) Logan: Okay, great. Thursday it is, seven thirty. Do not think of backing out, because I will cry and eat a pint of Rocky Road while watching An Affair to Remember with Rita Wilson.

Luke: You're being evasive. Lorelai: I'm not being evasive. I'm trying to remain mysterious so you still find me interesting a hundred years from now.

Emily: I only wish I had remembered to call her a cocktail waitress Lorelai: Oooh! That's my mother's version of the 'c' word!

Logan: Just canibalise everything you have ready for Friday's issue and use it for tonight's. Rory: Robbing Peter to pay Paul Logan: Well Peter's asking for it.

Rory: I didn't want you to pay for it anymore! Emily: There! There it is! Richard: So, you went to Christopher! Rory: He came to me! Emily: Oh, please! You just wanted to hurt us! Rory: By taking money from my father? Richard: Yes, exactly! Emily: I've had enough of this. I'm going back out to touch up my moonscape. Richard: I have some work to do. Rory: Fine! I have to go anyhow! Lorelai: Hey! This is not going to happen! You're not going back to your moonscape, you're not going back to work and you're not going home! Now, we all agreed to have Friday night dinner, and we're here and I smell dinner. And, yes, apparently there are some issues to be worked out, but no one, and I mean no one is leaving here until we do!

Richard: What are you thinking, buying an airplane? Emily: I didn't buy it! I looked at it! Richard: Well, what were you doing looking at a plane? Emily: I can look at a plane if I want to look at a plane!

Lorelai: Luke has a kid. Sookie: What... Like a goat?

Bill: (referring to Pairs) She's out of control. She's a mad dictator. She's the kind of dictator that they don't just like to kill. She's the kind they like to drag through the streets and hang from a light post for a month and a half.

Rory: Maybe people don't want to reuse a paper cup. Paris: Well, then hopefully people who don't want to reuse a paper cup won't mind buying SPF 5000 for their grandkids, when the rainforest is gone, and the ozone layer is a doily, and the human race is bursting into flames.

Paris: The research is sloppy, the sources are unreliable, the font is wrong, the paper feels thin and the by-line should read "Story by a petulant 2-year old who had one too many black and tans last night and so this is what people get to read. FIX IT!

Rory: (sarcastically) What's the worst that can happen? We won't be speaking anymore. Gee, that would suck. Lorelai: Wow. Ice, Ice Baby!

Rory: Hey Mom. Lorelai: Oh, you got your study voice. Rory: Yep, it goes with my pop-quiz walk and term paper face.

Lorelai: Well, I think we have reinstated Friday night dinner.

(Lorelai explains how to put Paul Anka on a leash) Sookie: What are you doing? Lorelai: Er, he freaks out if he sees his leash, you have to make sure you hide it from him and make sure he doesn't see you putting it on him. Sookie: How is he when he's on the leash? Lorelai: Oh, he's totally fine having his personal freedom slowly stripped away as long as he's unaware that it's happening, just like a true American.

(as Rory tries to get the paper out even though the time limit is up) Logan: But before you do, if you could spell your name for me? I wanna have the correct pronunciation when I speak with my father. Uh-uh, Russell. Damn, my pen broke. Hold on, I'm looking for a pen. (some newspaper staff members offer him pens and pencils, but Logan shakes his head, obviously not really wanting a pen) Looking for a pen...looking for a pen. (his voice is getting slightly higher, he's stalling, biding his time, Rory's finishing up...) Okay, I found a pen. Here you go. What's your name? Russell Smith. Okay, I didn't really need a pen for that one now, did I? (chuckles)

Logan: (hanging up the phone) And that's how we do it at the Daily News!

Emily: You know what's funny? Lorelai: Reno 911?