Gilmore Girls

Rory: So are we done? Paris: With what? Rory: Spring break. Are we done? Paris: I don't know. Rory: Well, let's go down the list. Paris: Okay, we came. Rory: Check. Paris: We danced. Rory: Check. Paris: We drank. Rory: Check. Paris: We...threw up. Rory: We didn't throw up. Paris: Give us 10 more minutes. Rory: Right.

Paris: I can't be in a car if anybody else is driving, okay? If I die in a car crash, it's going to be at my own hand.

Lorelai: You kicked his car? Luke: Oh, hey, I kicked it hard and over and over and over again. Lorelai: Oh, you beat up his car. Luke: And then, all of a sudden, these cops pull up, 'cause some busybody in the neighborhood saw some lunatic attacking a car, and, well, you know the rest. Lorelai: Did Nicole see you? Luke: I don't know. I don't know what she and the sock man saw. It's just... God, I feel like such an idiot. I mean, suddenly I became like one of those guys that gets jealous and, you know, does crazy things. Lorelai: Yeah, you weren't "like" one of those guys. You were one of those guys. Luke: Yeah, well... Lorelai: Was there any damage? Luke: No. (gets out of the Jeep) Lorelai: Luke... (following him) Hey, Luke, where are you going? Luke: See? Nothing- not a scratch. Those stupid dent-resistant panels. Lorelai: This is the car? Luke: Yes, this is the car. He sat there. She sat there. They got out there, walked up there. I jumped out there, ran up here, was handcuffed there, was driven off there. I went to jail. And you drove all the way up here to get me... and they are still in there! Lorelai: Oh, Luke. Luke: I mean, I can't believe they're still in there. What are they doing? Lorelai: Luke, come on. Luke: I know what they're doing. But even if you took one of those pills that they were hawking at the super bowl, you know, they should have been done in four or five hours, tops. I mean, that commercial said it all- "If you're still active after four hours, you should call a damn doctor.

Lorelai: Okay. You know what Kirk, this has been really fun, but I think we'll just hoof it the rest of the way. Kirk: But the ride wasn't over yet. Rory: Yeah, but we don't want to hog the cab. Lorelai: 'Cause there's only one. Rory: But we'll tell our friends. Kirk: What was wrong with the ride? Lorelai: Nothing. I mean it's great for tourists who are new to the town and want to make sure they don't miss a thing. Kirk: I wasn't going that slow. Lorelai: No, you just maybe need a little more training before tourist season kicks in. You know, take a spinning class. Or buy some legs. Rory: Sorry. Kirk: You will be sorry. You'll be sorry you turned down a chance to ride in Star's Hollow's first... Rory: Now he's going to hate us forever. Lorelai: No he's not. He's just going to hate us until something shiny comes by. Kirk: (peddling by) Well, well well. I guess it wasn't me that was slowing things down. Guess it was my big fat cargo! Rory: Hey! Kirk: Freshman fifteen! Lorelai: Kirk! Kirk: Can't wait to get my doughnut! Lorelai: Stay away form my doughnut Kirk! I mean it! It's my doughnut.

Jason: Here, eat this before it gets cold. Lorelai: You made French toast? Jason: Well, I had a lot of energy after my run, so... Lorelai: You went running? Jason: Well, I had to wait for the laundry to dry. And I had already read the papers. Lorelai: You had an entire day before I woke up. Jason: Here, you want bacon? Lorelai: You went out and slaughtered a pig between the running and the French toast? Jason: Yes, and by the way, that whole ozone-layer problem... taken care of. Lorelai: You're my Green Party hero!

Lorelai: No falling out of windows. Rory: Not even a first floor one. Lorelai: And don't drink. And after you're done not drinking, drink tons of water and take two aspirin before you go to bed.

Lorelai: (finds Rory's swimsuit) Aha! Bathing suit. Now we just have to find the wimple that goes with it.

Rory: Mom, where's my bathing suit? Lorelai: Do you even have a bathing suit? Rory: Of course I do! Lorelai: When was the last time you wore it? Rory: I don't know. Lorelai: Does it include rubber duckies? Rory: No!... I don't think.

Luke: (on answering machine) Hey , it's Luke. I'm sorry to be calling you like this, but I was wondering if when you get this message if you could come pick me up, 'cause I need a ride. I'm in Lichtfield, the corner of Mason and pine. It's a big white building, you'll recognize it by the police sign outside, 'cause oh hell, I'm in jail. Okay there I said it. It's a long story, I'll tell you when you get here. Thanks, if you come. Oh, one more thing I need to borrow a little money 300 bucks, it's just a loan, oh hell, it's for my bail.

Paris: Excuse me for thinking a banana eating contest was about eating a banana!

Rory: But it's spring break. It's girls gone wild and boys doing the twist!

Rory: Okay, forget I said 'giant Q-tips'. They're not hitting each other with giant Q-tips. Lorelai: But now I can't get 'giant Q-tips' out of my head. It's too powerful a visual.

Girl: Is it raining out? Paris: (drenched) No, it's National Baptism Day! Get your tubes tied!