Gilmore Girls

Lorelai: Okay, I'm officially way too tired to go out tonight so I'm not trusting my accessorizing instincts. Tell me what you think. Rory: I have no wilderness skills. Lorelai: So you hate the purse? Rory: How am I supposed to get into Harvard if I have no wilderness skills? Lorelai: I don't know honey. Maybe you'll have to give up your dream of majoring in logging. Rory: I called the Fireflies. Do they need troop leaders? Yes. Good, I'll be a troop leader. Great. The only catch is, it's summer. Camping season. I need wilderness skills. Why did you never take me camping? Lorelai: Camping? Are you kidding? I couldn't get you to step on wet grass until you were three. Rory: If you had taken me camping, I'd have wilderness skills. Lorelai: Well, I'll tell you what. I'll take you upstairs, I'll throw you out the window. If you manage to grab that tree, I'll be your witness.

Lorelai: What about Dad? Emily: We're starting without him. Lorelai: Why? He's the one with the six o'clock flight. We don't have to go anywhere. We could stay all night. Kick back, do some jello shots, play light as a feather, sitff as a board... Richard: You started without me!

Luke: There's nothing like a wedding to screw up a family. Lorelai: Well in my case, there's nothing like a family to screw up a family. Luke: It starts out all very nice, two people promising to be together forever, I'll die when you die, my life meant nothing till you used my toothbrush. Then you start planning the wedding. Aunt Junie's allergic to milk. Uncle Momo's off his meds... Lorelai: Junie and Momo? Luke: They're names. Lorelai: Of a retired circus couple? Luke: Then the ceremony's a disaster, a ring is lost, someone can't sit there with their ex, someone's drunk, someone's sleeping with someone else's wife, and somone's walked off with a gift or two. Lorelai: You know, the Gettysburg Address was only one page long. And that was about a war.

Jackson: So, I think I need to say this right now. I'm not ready for marriage. Sookie: Okay. Jackson: However, I'd be willing to move in. Sookie: Move in where? Jackson: Move in with you. Sookie: (laughing) Jackson, you're hilarious! Jackson: I am? Sookie: (mocking him) I'll move in with you. (laughs) What a riot! Jackson: Why are you laughing? Sookie: (laughing) You're face! God, you're good. You are good. Jackson: I wasn't joking. Sookie: (laughing) Come on, let's go get some punch. Jackson: Sookie, I'm serious, I'm moving in. Sookie: (laughing) Jackson, stop, you're gonna give me a cramp! Jackson: Sookie, get back here!

Lorelai: (talking about Dean) I mean, he just sits in his room, eating Fruit Loops out of the box, saying your name over and over and over. Rory: Time is ticking. Lorelai: Rory, I love you Rory. Rory, I will not be ignored Rory…

Rory: (about Richard and Emily) You have to tell them. Lorelai: I will. Soon. Rory: When's soon? Lorelai: When the big hand hits the "S" and the little hand hits the "OON."

Lousie: Princess Grace didn't go to college. Paris: Thank you for the history lesson, A.J. Benza. Lousie: Take a pill. Paris: Marry rich.

Lorelai: I am perfect. I have hit a new level of perfection rarely seen outside a Victoria's Secret catalog.

(Sookie wants Michel to choose a cookie) Michel: I don't care. Sookie: I just need a quick opinion! Michel: It took me two seconds to tell you I don't care, that's as quick as I get.

Lorelai: (about telling Emily that she's getting married) Mom, I'm getting married… I'm an idiot and you know, as my mouth was opening my mind was screaming 'Don't do it I mean it, you'll regret it.' But did my mouth listen? Rory: No. Lorelai: No and it opened, and the words came out, and Emily was Emily, and my mouth was stunned, and my mind said 'I told you so' and then my mouth got mad cause no mouth likes to have its nose rubbed in it and now my mind and my mouth aren't talking and it'll be weeks before we get the boys together again. Rory: Your mouth has a nose?

Emily: All right, I'm going to bed now. Lorelai: And why is it that when your only daughter tells you that she is getting married, you can't muster up even a little enthusiasm? Even a little fake enthusiasm. Why don't you pretend that you care? I mean, this is the biggest thing to happen to me possibly for the rest of my life, and you dismissed it like I said, 'Hey, I'm thinking of getting a Honda, what do you think?' Emily: You're obviously hysterical! Lorelai: Why don't you care? Why have you never cared? No matter what has happened to me my entire life, you've never been happy for me, and that hurts, Mom, it really hurts! Emily: I'm not discussing this with you. Lorelai: Do you know how it felt for me to tell you that I was getting married and to have you just brush it off like that? Do you know? Emily: No, I don't, I don't know! Possibly very similar to finding out from a complete stranger that my only daughter was getting married and had told every other person in the world before she bothered to tell her own mother. Possibly it felt something like that. Now if you'll excuse me, it is late, and I am going to bed.

Lorelai: (to Luke about her wedding shower) I mean, it's just…it's a really big night for me tonight, and I don't know, it just feels like you should be there.

Lorelai: Boy, they keep making that ketchup slower and slower, huh? Luke: It's the Heinz family's little joke.

Emily: Your head is too big for a veil. Lorelai: Thanks.

Lorelai: (about the wedding shower) It's crazy out there. Luke: Oh, I can imagine. Lorelai: Lots of people having fun, just the kind of thing you'd hate.

Emily: We can discuss this in the morning. Lorelai: No! We have to discuss it now! Emily: Are you drunk?

Lorelai: I'm officially changing my order. I'll have the 'Luke's giving Lorelai a migraine' meal. Luke: Blue cheese or ranch?

Rory: What's that? Lorelai: A hammer. Rory: Why does it have feathers? Lorelai: So the rhinestones and bows won't feel lonely.

Lorelai: (to Rory) I mean it, Timmy, no falling down the well.

Emily: (to Lorelai) Walk as you babble, please.

(Lorelai doesn't want to tell her parents that she's getting married) Lorelai: I am the mother and you are the daughter. In some cultures, that means you have to do what I say. Rory: If you don't tell them in two weeks, I will. Lorelai: Though apparently not in this one.

(About going to help fix up homes for the needy) Paris: You don't want to go. It's not you. Rory: I have multiple personalities, it might be one of me.

Paris: You need to follow a study schedule. I've been telling you that since second grade. Louise: Which worries both of us.

Lorelai: I need you to be serious here. Rory: You're wearing a newspaper on your head and you want me to be serious?

Lorelai: Why can't you keep a maid in this house? I mean there must have been 1000 women who've gone through here in the 32 years that I've been alive and not one of them could stick it out. Emily: And this is what we need to discuss right now? Lorelai: These are women from countries that have dictatorships and civil wars and death squads and all of that they survived, but 5 minutes working for Emily Gilmore and people are begging for Castro.

Man: That's a hammer? Rory: Well, it's just dressed up a little. Man: You dressed up a hammer? Rory: No, my mother did. She does that. She, um, she takes thinks that aren't pretty and makes them pretty, like a hammer, you know. One time she made individual outfits for my liquid paper bottles. A clown, a cowboy, a newscaster. She's not insane, she just sounds it.