Gilmore Girls

(After calming down Lorelai, Rory goes in to pick her backpack) Emily: I swear I don't know what to do with that mother of yours, I really don't. Everything has to be such a scene. Rory: I think you're being really stupid!

Emily: Lorelai, do not get dramatic. Dinner is not ready, and even if it was I would still not be able to invite you to stay because your father and I have plans tonight. We are eating quickly and then leaving. Lorelai: To go where? Emily: The Thompsons. Lorelai: For what? Emily: Book Club. Lorelai: What book? Emily: Lovely Bones. Lorelai: Did you like it? Emily: It's not my taste but I respect the attempt. Lorelai: (to Rory) Now I know where I get it from.

Lorelai: Hey, listen, my little Holly Hunter in Broadcast News, I'm gonna let you freak out and study like a mad woman and stress yourself out until finals, but once they're over, we are gonna celebrate big time... 'cause this is amazing. Rory: Yeah, it is. Lorelai: Okay, now go make Mommy nervous.

Jimmy: There are these crazy rumors that if you get in your car and you actually drive east, away from the beach, there's some city and other stuff, but personally I don't believe it.

Jimmy: (to Jess, after hearing a crash from the next room) Listen, why don't you give me a minute here? (another crash) Make it two, two minutes. (another crash) Three. And do a special knock before you come in.

(talking to Rory about her yearbook) Lorelai: Hey, you know what's weird? A lot of the kids in here are calling you valedictorian and if that's anything like a dirty skank, I'll kick their plaid butt right up the sidewalk.

(Trying to find something to talk about) Jimmy: First time on the west coast? Jess: First time. (long pause) Jimmy: Oh uh, the sights. Ocean... Jess: Was wondering what that was. Jimmy: ...sand... Jess: Keeps the ocean in its place. Jimmy: ...sky. Jess: Got one of those back east.

Lorelai: Ok, the whole stalking things works a whole lot better if you don't slam your face up against the window. Luke: I need to talk to you. Lorelai: Well, come inside. Luke: No, Rory's in there Lorelai: Since when are you scared of Rory, 'cause seriously Luke, I think you can take her. Luke: Can she hear us? Lorelai: Through the walls? No. I put kryptonite in her waffles this morning, I think were fine.

Rory: Who cares if I'm pretty if I miss my finals? Lorelai: Wow, you've got that all wrong

Lorelai: (to Luke) You're freaking out the freaks today.

Jimmy: When you left home, were the cops after you? Jess: No. Jimmy: No 'cause they shouldn't be or no 'cause they haven't found the head yet?

(Paris and Lorelai manning the senior party cruise booth and Paris is flipping out) Paris: Unbutton your blouse. Lorelai: What? Paris: Unbutton the top buttons of your blouse. Lorelai: Why? Paris: Guys are attracted to that kind of thing. Well me doing it isn't going to help any. Lorelai: Paris, you need to relax. You need to stop worrying. You need to stop obsessing. You need to stop looking at my boobs.

Lorelai: Luke. Luke: I failed him. Lorelai: You did not fail him. You supported him, you defended him, you gave him a chance and if he chose not to take it. There was nothing more you could do.

Lorelai: (to Rory) You know, you look like me and yet my ways are completely lost on you.

Rory: The campus looks pretty. Lane: It's got 2 huge parks with gardens and lakes. Lorelai: Two parks? Lane: One for boys and one for girls. Rory: Huh. Lane: And you know, I had originally thought that this was gonna be a suffocating place with out of date rules and insane restrictions, but boy was I wrong. For example, curfew is up to 9:30. 9:45 if you're going for your Masters. Makeup will be permitted, as long as it identically matches your skin tone. And owning a Rolling Stones CD is no longer grounds for expulsion. You can work the demerits off in the campus clean-up crew. Lorelai: There's a separate park for boys? Lane: My life is over.

(Lorelai stops the car at the red light) Rory: Oh, I can't believe you stopped. Lorelai: I can't believe you wanted me to go. Rory: There's no one around. Lorelai: Now no one's around, but the second I run that light, a police car, four helicopters, the Canadian Mounties and the crew of Cops jump out of a dumpster and I'm toast. Rory: Paranoid. Lorelai: Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you, my friend.

Sasha: Did you ask him anything? Jimmy: Should I have? Sasha: Jimmy, he could be in trouble. Jimmy: What, he's in trouble? What kind of trouble? Sasha: How would I know what kind of trouble? Jimmy: Well, you're the one that just said he was in trouble. Sasha: I said he could be in trouble. He could be running from the cops, or attempting to hop across America on one foot, or he really did come all the way from Connecticut just to have pizza with his father who he's not seen or heard from in seventeen years. Jimmy: What are the odds it's the last one?

Jess: I just wanna see Jimmy, okay? Sasha: Hey, did you ever see The Wizard of Oz? Jess: Yes. Sasha: Remember when they go to the Emerald City and they ring the bell and the guy with the beard stuck his head out and they said that they wanted to see the wizard, and he said no, and they said, 'She's got the ruby slippers', and he said 'Well, that's a horse of a different color. Come on in.' Jess: Yes. Sasha: Well, I'm the guy with the beard and I'm saying the no unless you can come up with the ruby slippers. Jess: I'm his son. Sasha: His son? Jess: Yes, his son. Sasha: Well, that's a horse of a different color. Come on in.

Rory: We will never be able to learn all the phrases in every language that we're going to need. Bring the books. Lorelai: We can learn enough. Plus, doesn't everybody speak English over there anyway? Rory: Ugly American, party of one.

Jess: Do they bite? Sasha: Just those two. (gestures indeterminately, walks away) Jess: Which two?! Which two?! Great. (shakes head, opens gate, steps into yard -- says to the dogs) I swear I'll bite you back.

Jimmy: Do you understand that it's only in the last five years that I even started putting my life together. You don't want to be around me. I am a screw-up. That is my genetic code. Jess: Well, the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. Jimmy: Don't say that. You're young, you can do anything you want. Jess: A month, just let me stay a month. Jimmy: Are you listening? I have nothing to offer you, nothing! Jess: You have nothing? I have nothing! I have no place to go. I can't stay at Luke's, I can't stay in Stars Hollow, my mother's a whack job! I mean you're saying you're a loser and what, you don't wanna take me off this terrific path I'm headed down right now? I'm not graduating high school. I don't know what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life, but something's telling me I'd better find out soon or I'm gonna be that guy out there on the boardwalk selling the hemp hats!