Gilmore Girls

Christopher: (to Lorelai) Do you have anyone you can't stand? Do you want to be able to say, "Hey! I can buy and sell you!" It's so cool! You can crush people with money! Want some people-crushing money?

Rory: I just wanted to tell you something. Brrrrrrrrrrring, I'm coming back to Yale! Paris: What was that sound? Rory: It was a drumroll. Paris: You really had to do a drumroll for that? Of course you're coming back to Yale. What are you gonna do without a college degree--drive a forklift?

Liz: Thank you so much big brother what a godsend you are. Luke: Yep God sent me to help ya and now he must pay.

Rory: You never had to live there. Lorelai: Hello! Oppressed one, class of '85.

Rory: They never invited their priest over to try to talk you out of having sex. Lorelai: Five times! And on the last one they triple teamed me with a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Mormon Missionary. I made so many jokes that night I should have had a microphone and a brick wall behind me.

Michel: (excitedly) Rory! Rory: Wow, hi Michel. Michel: (normal voice, bit ashamed) Hi. Lorelai: (to Rory) That was weird. Michel: She just surprised me, that's all.

Christopher: You're getting a Rolls for a wedding present, you know. Lorelai: Cool, I should register for a driver to go with it. Christopher: Well, yeah, they're too big to drive by yourself. Lorelai: No, God, you gotta have somebody to drive you.

Christopher: So how long have you been engaged? Lorelai: (sighs) Who told you? Christopher: (laughing) Your finger. Lorelai (to her finger) Oh, blabber mouth. Christopher: It's a good thing. I want you to be happy. I always have.

Christopher: So, can I ask you something? Lorelai: Sure. Christopher: It involves the "E" word and the "R" word. Lorelai: Oh please, let's not talk about Evolution & Recycling, they're just too hot button. Christopher: Weren't Emily and Richard paying for Yale? Lorelai: Yes, they were. Christopher: Something going on? Lorelai: Everything's fine.

Christopher: You're too un-materialistic. I've always thought that. Lorelai: If it makes you feel better, I'll talk to Rory. See if she wants a brewery or a Bentley. Christopher: A castle, don't forget the castle. Lorelai: I'll mention the castle. Christopher: It doesn't have to be in Germany, Ireland, Scotland, Czech Republic. It could be in Narnia.

Christopher: Pay off something -- your house, your bookie, any outstanding bills, Yale, something, some back taxes. Lorelai: I don't owe any back taxes. Christopher: Oh right, that's me.

Christopher: Let me buy you something, a castle in Ireland, a Civil War cannon, a brewery. Yeah, a brewery, that'd be cool. You could brew your own beer. Lorelai: You know, I had my own brewery for a while, but I hate the smell of hops.

Christopher: I set Gigi up with funds for private nursery school, prep school and college and grad school and post grad school and Ph.D. school and a wedding and a divorce if she wants it and another wedding, or she can buy a bunch of cats and a life time supply of Twizzlers and popcorn if that's her choice but she's all set. And now I want to take care of you - you and Rory.

Christopher: Long story short, I'm rich. Lorelai: You're rich! Christopher: Ridiculously. I mean I'm not Bill Gates, by a long shot. But I've got money.

Christopher: So how's our Rory? Lorelai: Oh, she's good, she's....very busy. Christopher: Per usual. Lorelai: She took a little time off Yale. Christopher: And the apocalypse is when, this week, next week? Lorelai: She's back now and thriving. She'll be running the world one day. Christopher: Are you sure? Lorelai: She's doing great. Trust me. Christopher: I do.

Sookie: What if what I'm wishing for is actually coming true? Lorelai: Quick, wish for a Sephora within walking distance!

Lane: (to Lorelai and Rory) Mother and daughter are together again. All is right with the world.

Lorelai: (to Luke) Ladies & gentlemen, Rory Gilmore! Rory: Hi there! Luke: Rory you're back, you look good! Healthy and happy, here with your mother, both of you here. That's great, yay! I don't think I've ever said 'yay' before. Sounded weird. Lorelai: A little.

Zach: I don't want to play that song. Brian: Why? We rehearsed it. We have it all scheduled out. (curtain opens) Lane: (whispers) What song do we play? Zach: Stella. Brian: What?! We can't even play that yet. We only started rehearsing that a few days ago.

Lane: So, Sophie, you've done like Big Joe gigs before playing the piano. Any advice? Sophie: (sarcastically) Don't wear a clown suit. Lane: Thanks. Zach: (stroking a guitar) I still have my eye on this beauty. Sophie: Just don't put your hands on it! Zach: Maybe I'll splurge and get it. You take MasterCard? Sophie: Why? You got one? Zach: Just waiting to hear back on the application. Sophie: Keep moving! Zach: Hey, cool, we should all get these! (holds a wireless microphone up) Lane: Wireless mikes? Brian: Isn't that too Gwen Stefani? Zach: Not if we wear them. It'll be totally Peter Gabriel. (Brian plays some chords that are very good. Sophie turns her head to listen.) Zach: Hey, dude, that didn't sound half bad. What is that? Brian: Oh, just a song I've been working on. I don't know if it's any good or not. Zach: Chords are good. Any lyrics? Brian: Some. It's called "Lane." Zach: It's called "Lane"? Lane: Who, me, Lane? Brian: Yeah. We were talking about songs and Lane yesterday and I just got inspired. Zach: Inspired, huh? Lane: That's nice, thanks, Brian. Sophie: Doesn't make me want to be violently ill. Lane: High praise. Brian: Yeah, thanks, Sophie. Lane: (to Zach) We could learn it next week. Zach: Look, we came to get picks; let's get picks okay? (Lane gives Sophie a questioning look and Sophie looks back with a reassuring smile. They go to look for picks as the scene changes.)

Lane: (crying) You blew it, Zack. You blew it for us. We were supposed to get a record deal tonight, or at least get noticed! Zack: Maybe.. maybe that's why band members shouldn't date. Lane: (walking inside) Yeah..I guess so.

Paris: Hi Rory. Rory: Who is this? Paris: Wow. You don't even recognize the sound of your best friend's voice anymore. Rory: Paris! I'm coming back to Yale! Paris: Of course you are. What would you do without an education? Drive a forklift?

Honor: (talking about Logan) I almost threw a lamp at him when he told me you two broke up! Rory: He.. he told you we broke up?

Lorelai: (to Rory) Hey! Make a noise, so I don't think you pulled an Elvis.