Gilmore Girls

(Logan takes a sewing box off a table and pockets it, Lorelai is watching disapprovingly) Rory: What are you doing? Logan: A little Life-and-Death Brigade business. Every time we're in a rich person's house, I take a knick-knack. Then I leave the knick-knack I took from the last rich person's house. I've been doing this up and down the eastern seaboard for years.(Puts a lighter on the table) Rory: Logan, no!!! Logan: Trust me, they never notice. Rory: You're crazy. Logan: It's fun to be crazy. Rory: (They go to the dinner table) Grandma probably wants us here. Emily: (coming from the kitchen) Alright, the salads will be out in just a moment, everybody sit. (suddenly concerned) Wait a minute. Richard: What's wrong, Emily? Emily: Well I don't know. Wait, my antique sewing box, it's missing! Richard: Well that can't be. Emily: It is! It's gone! Was it here during drinks? Richard: Well, I can't say that I noticed. Emily: You, hovering there, what do you know about this? Beatrice: Ma'am? Emily: My antique sewing box, did you move it somewhere? Beatrice: No ma'am. Emily: Well, it's not here. Do you have any explanation as to why it's not here, Beatrice? Lorelai: I'm sure it's just a mixup, Mom. Emily: (ignoring Lorelai) What's this? What's this lighter? Richard, is this from the pool house? Richard: Well I don't recognize it, but you never know, one of the guys might have left it after a poker game. Emily: Well, Beatrice, I don't know what to say. I almost feel like I should go through the whole house and make sure nothing else has been misplaced. Lorelai: Mom, I found it. (motions to Logan to hand the box over) Emily: However we have company and I don't want to be rude. Let's just leave it for later, and you and I will have a very serious discussion. Lorelai: (louder) Mom, I found it! Emily: What? Lorelai: Yeah, here it is. Emily: Really? Where was it? Lorelai: Behind the centerpiece. I guess the flowers kind of hid it.

(Luke is in the diorama room) Luke: Taylor? Taylor: (Off camera) Hello, is someone out there? Luke:Where are you, Taylor? Taylor: Over here! I can't move! (Luke looks around the room, notices Taylor under the horse mannequin) Luke: Oh, I have got to get a camera.

Harry: Huntzberger's here. Rory: Where? Harry: He's one of those guys there. Rory: Yeah, in the middle. Striped tie. Harry: You know Huntzberger? Rory: Yes. Harry: Really? What's he like? Rory: Um, Episcopalian. Second of four children, oldest boy. And um, hates peas.

Emily: (About Logan and Rory) Richard! Imagine his blond hair and her blue eyes on a baby! Richard: Incomparable!

Emily: Do you really think that it's going to work this way? Lorelai: What way? Emily: That you just check the itinerary and pick which Friday night dinners you'll deign to come to, and which ones you won't? Lorelai: I am not picking. It just happened that this Friday... Emily: You wait 'till we have a guest like the Pope for dinner and then say, oh, yes, well, now it's worth my while to have dinner with my family, I get to meet the Pope. Lorelai: You're Protestant, Mom. Emily: You do not get to cherry-pick which Friday night dinners you attend. It does not work that way. It's never worked that way.

(Lorelai wakes Rory up at 12:30 A.M.)
Lorelai: I want to go to dinner. Rory: Where's the clock? Lorelai: I mean, you said that I could meet Logan properly, and you know how good I am when there's food involved! Rory: Twelve thirty! Lorelai: I mean, is there a reason I wasn't invited? Rory: Ah. Can't we talk about this tomorrow? Lorelai: It is tomorrow. I just don't think it's right that they get first dibs on him. I mean, I am your mom, and we are very close, in case you haven't heard, and I should get to know him first!

Rory: Twenty-five! How did he do that? Especially considering his lost years? He's a born journalist. I mean, what does he read? What papers, what journals? Come on, tell me something. Logan: He hates peas. Rory Logan, I need your help here. Logan: Rory, my dad and I basically have two conversations. 'Logan, you're not living up to your potential' and 'Logan, when you're sailing close-hauled, wait until you gain that last bit of boat speed before you pull in the jib sheet.' That's it. Rory: But... Logan Ace! You've learned more about my father in one night than I've learned in my whole life! Don't worry. You're going to be fine! Now, I thought we've established that we're both starving.

Rory: Oh! Wait! Your dad covered Haiti in 1985. Must learn more about Haiti. Got it. Okay,let's go. Hey, have you ever discussed Pinochet with him? Because one time he wrote... Logan: Peas Ace, Peas.

Lorelai: Okay, so, other than your stylist duties, what else is going on in the life of the young and hopeful? Rory: I'm considering taking Russian. Lorelai: Oh, very practical. How's Logan?

(Rory on the phone with Logan at the newspaper) Rory: I just don't want your father to be disappointed in me. Logan: Rory, in order for my dad to be truly disappointed in you, your name would have to be Logan. Rory: I'm sure that's not true. Logan: Uh-huh Rory: Thanks Logan Logan: Go get 'em Ace.

(Rory hears a loud bang when talking to Logan on the phone) Rory: Oh my God, what was that? Logan: Carrier pigeon. Poor thing, should have opened a window. Rory: Not funny.

(Logan enters the dorm room and kisses Rory) Paris: Nice. Very nice. Rory: Hey you want to see my room? It's far away from here. Logan: Super idea.

(Happily singing into her hairbrush) Paris: (Speaking about Doyle) Do you know he calls me his girlfriend now without any visible shaking? Rory: I'm happy you're happy. Paris: So how are things with Logan? Rory: You want to pass me that hairbrush? Paris: Look at us. We're happy. We have boyfriends! This is infinitely better than any mood stabilizer I've ever been on.

Rory: Hey, Luke. You're the only one I like around here at the moment. Luke: Right back at ya.

Rory: Oh, last night I couldn't sleep, so I googled your father. Logan: Excuse me?!

Rory: What are you thinking about? Logan: Whether or not you've ever woken up with Paris standing over you with a knife. Rory: Not recently. She's been in a good mood. Logan: Why is that? Rory: Because she's in love. Logan: With Doyle? Rory: Yes, with Doyle. And do not mock or make fun, because when Paris is happy, the whole world is happy. But when she's not happy, the whole world is Deadwood. Logan: Got it. You hungry?

Lorelai: (Looking at the automatic vacuum cleaner) So is this more or less fun than watching the same tv show together? Rory: (Looking at her own vacuum cleaner while on the phone with Lorelai) I think it's more. Lorelai: You know if we died right now, and decomposed, it would vacuum us up and no one would ever know. Rory: Freaky.

When Lorelai calls Emily and doesn't say anything at first Emily: Hello? Who are you looking for? Did you dial the wrong number? You know, it's very rude to dial someone and then just sit there on the phone without so much as a grunt or a moan. I mean, as far as perverted phone calls go, this is a very poor one.

Lorelai: Yeah, her genius plan is to come home, go to bed early, set the clock for two, get up and go rock. Luke: Solid plan. Lorelai: Yes, except that when the clock goes off at two, she will be dead asleep and won't hear it. I, however, will. I will then proceed to get up, drag myself downstairs, recreating a classic Zucker Brothers moment and then I'll shake her awake. She'll get up, throw on some jeans, a t-shirt, and no make-up and look like a Neutrogena ad, whereas once she leaves, I'll pass out on the couch, too exhausted to make it all the way upstairs, and in the morning I will have bags under my eyes that should have Tumi stamped on them. I love being a mom.

Emily: Have you lost your mind? Lorelai: (Shaking her head) No, no. It's still sloshing around up there.

Taylor: You waited two hours to come and get me? Luke: I have a business. I can't come running everytime a family of mannequins decides to attack you.