Gilmore Girls

(Lorelai is trying to patch things up with Luke, who remains oblivious to it) Lorelai: So, this is how it's gonna be with us now, huh? Luke: No idea what you're talking about. Lorelai: You're pulling a Mr. Freeze on me. Luke: I'm not pulling a Mr. Freeze on you. Lorelai: Please. I'm gonna need snow chains just to get out of here. Luke: I assume you want coffee with your donuts. Lorelai: I'm sorry, Luke. It was a bad night. I completely freaked out. I said some things... Did you get my note? I wrote you a note. Luke: Got your note. Lorelai: You got my note. Did you read my note? Luke: Read your note. Lorelai: And? Luke: It was very well-written Lorelai: That's it? Luke: I also enjoyed the Garfield stationary. That's one funny cat. Lorelai: I said I was sorry, Luke. Luke: Yes, you did. Lorelai: I said it like a million times. Luke: You said it four times, but I understand you're embellishing for dramatic effects. Lorelai: Stop. Luke: Stop what? Lorelai: Oh, stop this robot talk. If you're mad, just act like you're mad at me. Luke: I'm not mad at you. Lorelai: You're being really, really unfair. Rory was in the hospital. Luke: Lorelai, what is it exactly that you want me to do? I'm not mad, I'm not holding a grudge, I heard your apology, I feel I'm being polite, I listened to your donut bit, I got you your coffee. What would make you happy? Lorelai: I want Luke back. Luke: He's standing right here. Lorelai: No, he's not. (she walks out of the diner)

Dean: (Referring to Babette and Miss Patty singing) So, how many cocktails caused that? Rory: Oh, they haven't had any cocktails yet. Dean: Really? Rory: Oh yeah, when they start having cocktails we're gonna have to hide you.

Michel: All right, the piano movers will be here at eight and the chairs will be set up at nine. All the rooms are made up and ready. I will be in at ten. Now I am going home unless you would like me to stay. Lorelai: Actually, I would, thanks. Michel: No, I'm sorry, I think I said that wrong. I am going home now unless you would like me to stay. Lorelai: I would love you to stay, thanks for offering. Michel: Okay, see, once again, my English not so good. One more time. I am going home now after working six hours longer than I usually work and performing tasks I despise and am ashamed of, and now I am going home to wash off the stench of this horrifying day, that is, unless, for some unknown Godforsaken reason, you need me to stay. Lorelai: Well, actually... Michel: Goodbye.

Christopher: When Jackson came out holding that kilt – man, I felt for him. Lorelai: I know, so did I. Christopher: Please, I saw what your face was doing. Lorelai: What? What was my face doing? Christopher: It was counting up how many Brigadoon references you could come up with to torture him with at a later date. Lorelai: How dare you accuse my face of that! My face is calling Gloria Alred when we get home. Christopher: How many references? Lorelai: None. Christhopher: How many? Lorelai: Twelve, including a few bars of I'll Go Home with Bonnie Jean.

(Christopher drove all the way from Boston to see Rory's cast taken off) Lorelai: I know, but I didn't think you would drive all the way from Boston again. You were just here. Christopher: You getting sick of me? Lorelai: Frankly, yes.

Lorelai: Oh, good donut selection this morning, really. Good variety, good color, good goodness, good . . . Well, so the choices are there. It all comes down to what I'm in the mood for. Sprinkled or chocolate or jelly or glazed, maple or kiki or apple or, uh, raised. Little donut rhyme there. Never mind. Can I have a chocolate and a sprinkled please?

Lorelai: But I'm here now and hey, I'm like cheese. Dean: What? Rory: She gets better with time.

Lorelai: Huh. You know what I just realized? Oy is the funniest word in the entire world. Rory: Huh. Lorelai: I mean, think about it. You never hear the word oy and not smile. Impossible. Funny, funny word. Emily: Oh, dear God. Lorelai: Poodle is another funny word. Emily: Please drink your drink, Lorelai. Lorelai: In fact, if you put oy and poodle together in the same sentence, you'd have a great new catch phrase, you know? Like, oy with the poodles already. So from now on, when the perfect circumstances arise, we will use our favorite new catch phrase. Rory: Oy with the poodles already. Lorelai: I'm telling you, it's knocking 'whatcha talking 'bout, Willis?' right out of first place. Emily: Lorelai, for God's sake, be quiet.

Lorelai: I know something you don't know. Rory: What? Lorelai: Okay, just remember, it's really wrong to gossip, unless it's true or just way too good not to tell everyone you see, whether you know them or not. Rory: Got it, what is it? Lorelai: Well – (phone rings) Aw, if that's my conscience calling, tell it enough already, I heard it the first time.

Kirk: I hope so, 'cause I'm so damn lonely not even Animal Planet does it for me anymore.

Rory: What are you doing here? Jess: I moved back. Rory: What? Jess: I moved back. Rory: But...why? Jess: Just...wanted to. (Rory kisses Jess) Rory: Oh my God! Jess: Rory... Rory: Don't say a word! Jess: Okay. Rory: (turns and begins to run away then looks back) Oh! Welcome home!

Luke: (to Jess) You know what people told me when I said you were coming to live here? They told me I was crazy. They told me I should start writing letters to Jodie Foster -- but I ignored them. I was so sure that I knew what I was doing and then you showed up and you know what? You proved them right. I was crazy. Now, after all the havoc and chaos that you have wreaked, you are seriously standing here in a shirt with hands that are flipping me off telling me you want to come back?!

Paris: (on asking Rory to run for Vice President) Because people think you're nice. You're quiet, you say excuse me, you look like little birds help you get dressed in the morning. People don't fear you. Rory: Hey, I haven't been dressed by a bird since I was two.

Rory: Fourth rung of hell, party of one. Lorelai: Well, at least my feet won't get cold.