Gilmore Girls

Lorelai: I'm sorry. But after you almost get killed on a plane and on the freeway, why would you choose to go on a terrifying roller coaster? Rory: Oh, boy. Lorelai: I mean, at that point, just stay home, right? Rory: It's a horror movie! Lorelai: Yes, but it doesn't make any sense! Rory: It's not supposed to make sense. It's supposed to make you sick. Lorelai: Fine, whatever. I'm heading over to the inn, do you want to come hang? Rory: No, I got to run some errands, I'll meet you there later. Lorelai: All right, but watch out that a street light doesn't accidentally break off, swing down and decapitate you! Rory: Will do. Lorelai: I mean, why even bother calling it Final Destination 3? At that point just call it "Now you're really, really, really dead!" Rory (makes a phone with her fingers: Hello, Hollywood? Boy, have I got a pitch for you!

Michel:(Explaining the Post-It system to Rory) The pink Post-Its are for guests checking in. The green Post Its are for guests checking out, and the watermelon Post-Its are for guests who have canceled or delayed their stay. So if we have less pink than green, than means more guests are checking in than checking out, unless we've started murdering them!

Lorelai: I know that traveling across country on a bus full of Little Man Tates has been a lifelong dream of yours. Luke: In that case, I will go.

Lorelai: (walks in on Michel and Rory just staring at each other) Okay, are you two having a staring contest or something, because I think for it to be legal, you both need to be sitting down. Michel: I was just filling your daughter in on the inner workings of the Dragonfly. Lorelai: Uh-oh, what did she do? Rory: I took some Post-Its. Lorelai: But the system! Rory: It will never happen again. Lorelai: Michel, you have my deepest and most sincere apologies. She was raised better than that.

Rory: So are you busy today? Lorelai: Well, I have some things to do around the Dragonfly, but for you I think I could play a little hooky. Rory: My role model. Lorelai: Well, I try.

Luke: (brings Rory a bunch of food) Here, start on these. I'm gonna make you some s'mores. Rory: He's the most beautiful man in the world! Lorelai: Yeah, you should see him carry a spider outside.

Michel: You like neon. Rory: I'm sorry? Michel: I see you have made liberal use of my pink neon Post-It notes. Rory: I'm sorry, Michel. Would you like me to reimburse you for the 7 pink neon Post-It notes I have used? I would be happy to, if you could break a penny. Michel: No, little Lorelai. It's not the money that's the problem, it's the disruption!

Emily: Lorelai, this is your mother. I'm calling you from the car! Lorelai: Okay, well, you're not calling to me from the car, so stop yelling.

Paris: This is going to be great. Just you and me, in our newly repainted apartment, with no men! Just Chinese food. Rory: We are going to get so huge! Paris: That's okay. We'll get a treadmill.

Paris: Well, well, if it isn't New Haven's favorite whorehound! Logan: Is Rory here? Paris: Yes. Logan: Can I talk to her? Paris: No. You can talk to me. What do you want to talk about? Life? Love? The symptoms of sexually transmitted diseases? Logan: Rory-- Paris: Rashes, sores, insanity?

(after Logan convinces Rory to talk to him in the hallway) Rory: Two minutes, go. Logan: Look, I understand that you're upset and I really wish that you hadn't found out like that. But Rory, I LOVE YOU! You know that I love you. When I said that I was your boyfriend, I agreed to be faithful to you, which by the way was a first for me. And I thought it would be hard, but it wasn't. Then I asked you to move in with me. I asked you to move in with me, and I thought that was going to be hard, but it wasn't. I have been completely faithful to you, Rory. I have not been with another girl, I have not looked at another girl, I have not even thought about another girl. Rory: Except for Walker, Alexandra.... Logan: We were broken up, Rory. Rory: No, you were. Logan: I thought we were broken up, I thought that's what that fight was. I thought that's what the separation was. Do you believe me? Do you believe that I honestly thought we weren't together? Rory: I guess..... Logan: So then, if you believe that. That I thought we weren't together, then in my mind I was not cheating on you. Rory: I guess..... Logan: So then, if you believe that in my mind I was not cheating on you, do you think you can forget what those vipers said today, put it behind you, and just come home with me? Come on, Rory. Just come home with me, let's forget this crappy day ever happened. Just go home...do you want to make a pro/con list? Rory: Do NOT mock my pro/con list! Logan: I am not mocking your pro/con list. I actually think that list will come out in my favor. Rory: Well, I have to tell Paris I'm going. Logan: Absolutely, Tell Paris you are going. Rory: (opens the door) Woah!!! Oh!!! Logan: What? Rory: They made up...either that, or Krav Maga is way kinkier than I thought it was. Logan: Well, you can tell her tomorrow. After all, it is tomorrow. Rory: Yeah, I can just call her from home. (Logan takes her hand) Logan: We OK? Rory: (still looking upset and unsure) Yeah Logan puts his arm around her shoulder and they leave to go home

(Rory walks in to her & Logan's apartment) Logan: Where the hell have you been? Rory: Oh, I went to Stars Hollow to visit my mom for a couple of days. Logan: You went Stars Hollow? Rory: Yup. Logan: You could have to me Ace. Left at note, called, something. Rory: Yeah, I know, I should have. Logan: I mean, I wake up and you're gone. Rory: I didn't mean to freak you out. Logan: I kept calling your cell. I must have called it a hundred times. Rory: Oh, yeah. Well my cell died, and my charger was here, of course. I have to buy an extra one, you keep telling me that. Logan: Finally, I check in with the paper and they told me you've been emailing stuff, so at least I knew you were alive. Rory: I am so sorry, it just became this whole thing. My grandparents stopped by unexpectedly, which took forever. And, anyhow it's a long story, it won't happen again...I should take a shower. Logan: Rory Rory: Yeah? Logan: You sure everything's OK? Rory: Yeah, fine. (Logan looks unsure as she walks away)

(The doorbell rings. Lorelai spins around and runs to the door. It's Sookie, carrying trays of food) Sookie: Food! Lorelai: No, I'm Lorelai. Sookie: Heavy! Lorelai: That's just mean. Sookie: Falling! Lorelai: Right. Follow me.

(talking to Richard and Emily on the phone. They said that they were coming to see Lorelai) Lorelai: Wait. Wait. I don't want you guys to have to make a special trip, that really, really wouldn't make any sense! Crazy, that's like asylum crazy! Besides, Rory and I were just about to head out for a movie! Emily: Rory's there? Lorelai: Damn! Emily: Excuse me? Lorelai: Damn - straight. Emily: Wonderful! We'll see you both around four thirty. Lorelai: (hangs up) Damn it.

(Talking about some spiders) Luke: Okay, I'm going to take these guys outside. Any particular place you want them? Lorelai: Yeah, someplace shady, sheltered from the elements, and ideally near a talking pig. Luke: I asked. I have no one to blame but myself.

Brian: What happens when you guys get married? Zack: Well, me and Lane can finally have sex! Lane: (embarrassed) Za-ack!

Emily: I thought we paid 4000 dollars for a computer to give us directions not to babysit us and make decisions for us about how to live our lives. I mean, what's next, the radio won't turn on if it doesn't like the song? The engine won't start if the cup of coffee I'm holding is too hot? Maybe the car won't go in reverse if it doesn't like the smell of my perfume?

Lorelai: The Gilmores are moving in. Rory: What are you talking about? Lorelai: Kirk was in here today. Rory: Nothing good starts with Kirk was in here today.

Lorelai: Rory's here! Luke: She is? Lorelai: Yeah, she's outside bouncing around with Lane. Luke: How come she came home? Lorelai: I don't know, bouncing lessons?

Luke: You know I have never seen the Liberty Bell? Lorelai: Communist!

Paris: (Concerning the editorship argument between her and Rory) Forget it. I mean, who are we kidding? I am not cut out to deal with people. I was made to be in a lab or operating room or a bunker somewhere with a well-behaved monkey by my side.

Rory: Your parents are exhausting. Lorelai: Not as much as your grandparents.

Emily: I could have recommended a real professional. Lorelai: Well since I used a fake professional I got to pay in Monopoly money.

Lorelai: So, this is a nice surprise. Rory: What -- Lane? Lorelai: No, you showing up. I didn't expect to it, you being a modern busy woman and all. Rory: Well, I can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan.