Gilmore Girls

Luke: Hey. Lorelai: Hey. Luke, what are you – Luke: Yente tripped! Lorelai: What? Luke: She tripped, just as she was heading out to tell Avram about Ruchel. Lorelai: The shoemaker's daughter? Luke: Yeah, she's trying to fix him up with Avram's son. Lorelai: She's almost blind, she can hardly see. Luke: Hey, I am not doing a bit with you here. The kid tripped, because her dress was too long! Lorelai: Okay, is she hurt? Luke: Of course she's not hurt, but she completely blew her entrance. All the people of Anatevka are standing around with their goats, she tripped and they have to reset the goats! Lorelai: Luke – Luke: And if you were there where you were supposed to be, her costume would've fit, and Yente wouldn't have tripped. Lorelai: (getting mad) What do you mean, where I was supposed to be? Luke: You're making the costumes. At least that's the rumor. I'm making the sets, and I'm there. Lorelai: Yeah. I am making the costumes. I'm making the costumes here and then I'm bringing them there when they are done. Luke: Oh, sure. A likely story. Lorelai: Hey, what is your problem? Luke: My problem is that I'm spending the day teaching a bunch of kids to use tools which won't properly fit in their hands for another eight to ten years, because you signed me up to do it, and then you're not even there when you're supposed to be! Lorelai: Well, you could've said no. Luke: I could've said no. Have you tried saying no to Bradley when he's got a giant inhaler shoved in his mouth? Lorelai: No. Luke: Well you can't! (he notices the decorated garage) What the hell am I looking at? Lorelai: It's my new special alone space. Luke: Oh, yeah? Well, you got a whole house of special alone space. Lorelai: (hurt) Not like this. Luke: So, what, are you going to hang out in your garage, now? Lorelai: I don't know, maybe! I mean, why not? It's not like I have a boat that needs storage, or anything! Luke: You could park your car in here. Lorelai: I never park my car in here! I have never, ever parked my car in here, Luke! And you know that! But I come home to this big, huge, suddenly empty space, and I thought I would try to do something nice, so it wasn't just a giant hole of depression sitting out here! Luke: I thought I was doing you a favor. Lorelai: Oh, please. Luke: I did! Lorelai: Well, gee, thanks a lot. Luke: It's your garage! Lorelai: Whatever. Luke: I mean, what was I supposed to do, leave the thing in here forever? Lorelai: Oh, no. Absolutely not. Much better to sneak it out of here and park it in front of the diner like a giant "they broke up" billboard for the whole town to see. Luke: I didn't mean it like that. Lorelai: Well, how did you mean it, Luke? Luke: I can't believe you're mad at me for getting my boat out of your garage! Lorelai: I'm not mad at you for getting your boat out of my garage. I'm mad at you for the way you got the boat out of my garage. Luke: What, did I ruin the lawn? Lorelai: You didn't even call me, Luke. You didn't leave a message or a note or anything. You just snuck in and took it, and I got to come home and find it gone. Although, I didn't come home and find it gone! I drove by the diner and assumed it was gone! You know what, it doesn't matter. 'Cause it's done. We're done. It's fine. I'm not mad. Luke: I can tell. Lorelai: Well, I have dresses to make, so I'll see you at the theater. (she walks to the house)

Sookie: So, what route did you take to work today? Lorelai: Oh, the usual. You know, Main Street to Oak and then a sharp starboard turn at the marina and four nautical miles to the Inn. Sookie: You saw it. Lorelai: Oh, yeah. Sookie: Rats. Lorelai: I saw the back of the boat driving from Weston's, I saw the front of the boat from the bank and then I went upstairs to the post office and I got a nice aerial shot of the boat. Basically I took the White House tour of the boat.

Rory: You can even stay over if you don't feel like driving back. Lorelai: Are there monsters under your bed again? Rory: I'm just saying. Lorelai: Look, Miss Nightingale. I appreciate your concern. And the offer to spend the night is much nicer than the suggestion that I shut my mouth, but I'm fine. Rory: You sure? Lorelai: Big girl. Rory: Yeah. It's still new. Lorelai: Angel, I have been dumped before. Rory: Not by Luke. Lorelai: No, not by Luke. But a dump is a dump. The process is still the same. Don't worry, Mom's cool. Rory:I know Mom's cool.

Rory: So, how are you doing? Lorelai: I'm doing fine. Rory: How are you doing? Lorelai: I'm doing fine. I swear. I'm getting better. Rory: No word from Luke? Lorelai: (sighing) Not waiting on word from Luke. Rory: Okay. Lorelai: Anyhow, I'm fine. I mean, not that I'm over it, but little by little it's getting easier to pretend it's easier, which means easier must be right around the corner. Rory: I'm sure it is. Lorelai: And I'm working on getting down a new routine. I've settled on Weston's in the morning. Rory: Decent coffee, excellent strudel. Lorelai: Yeah. So, that's me. How are you? Rory: Hmm, well, I study, then study, then after a little study break, I study.

Marty: I can't go back in there, I can't leave so here I stand, frozen on the side walk.

Luke: I'm still wondering where the other adults are. Lulu: They will be here. Luke: Yeah you've been saying that for days and I'm still the only person in here that doesn't have to hang his sheets out his window in the morning. Lulu: I don't understand. Luke: They wet their beds, Lulu.

Damon: I love lesbians. Luke: Yeah, they are swell.

Michel: I heard a noise in the kitchen. Sookie: What kind of noise? Michel: A bam or a clang. Possibly a crash. It might have been a wham or a ka-pow. Sookie: Well did you go check it out? Michel: Excuse me. I'm extremely busy. Someone here has to work. I mean the two of you just run off to do your little decorating project and you leave me here alone. Sookie: Michel, did you actually hear a noise? Michel: Of course I heard a noise. It was a thwap or a vroom. Sookie: Got to go, Michel. Lorelai: What's the matter. Sookie: Apparently, Batman's attacking the inn.

Lulu: Luke you met Bradley earlier, and this is Damon. Luke: Hi, Damon. Damon: My mommy's a lesbian!

Michel: Has anyone noticed that I am the only one working? Sookie: No, no one noticed.

Marty: Rory, I don't want to just be friends with you anymore. I like you. Rory: I...I like Logan. Marty: Yeah....I thought so.

Paris: This is Rory's mother Lorelai. Doyle: I'm Rory's editor. Paris: And my lover. Lorelai: Oh. Well, fantastic. Doyle: I don't think "lover" is exactly the correct term, Paris. Paris: Oh really? What is the correct term, Doyle? Doyle: At a later time, Paris. Paris: Doyle and I haven't determined the social aspects of our relationship yet. But we're having sex 3 or 4 times a week, so apparently, the sexual aspects of the relationship are crystal freaking clear! Doyle: Paris, I beg you.

Doyle: Paris said "mi casa es su casa." Rory: Okay, well, Paris' casa is right in there, so either go in there or get lost, because I have company coming, and I don't want the first thing he sees to be your feet, or your face. Doyle: But...I'm your editor!

Rory: He wanted to give me his side of the story. Lorelai: Oh well, unless his side of the story includes having his long lost evil twin lock him in a closet and come to the wedding in his place, his side of the story doesn't exist.

Rory: So what's going on at home? Lorelai: Big grapefruit shortage. The hurricanes wiped them out and Taylor is completely freaking out. Rory: I'm sure. Lorelai: And Patty and Babette are organizing Stars Hollow's first botox party. Rory: Are you invited? Lorelai: Are you insinuating I should be? Rory: So the Hollow's low on grapefruits?

Paris: Listen, Lorelai? If you decide that your breakup is something that you want to talk about, please let me know. Lorelai: Okay, Paris. Paris: And let me know before Tuesday, because I'm doing a paper for my Emotional Mental Health class about how women of a certain age cope with loneliness, and I think you'd be a great lead-off anecdote. (Lorelai glares at Paris then looks at Rory) Rory: You can't take her. She's trained in Krav Maga. Lorelai: Damn it!

Rory: So, how was the Zydeco music? Logan: I left when Finn jumped in on vocals. Rory: Excellent self-preservational instinct

Rory: You couldn't find an ATM? Marty: Oh, no, there's at least six ATMs within a two block radius and every single one of them is going to tell me that I only have eighteen dollars in my account...and then I believe they will flip me off.

Juliet: Are you going to eat that fried shrimp? Rory: I think I am. Juliet: Oh God, can I watch?

Lorelai: Hey, isn't that your naked guy? Rory: Oh, yeah. Marty, hey! He's not my naked guy. Lorelai: Well, you don't really want a communal naked guy, nowadays, you know, it's too sketchy.

Doyle: You look so hot when you find me annoying. Paris: Then I must be Gisele Bündchen to you 24/7

Lorelai: But, hey, don't worry about me. Things are starting to look up. (holds up the flier) They think I'm a student. Rory: And they also think you're Polynesian and potentially sexually undecided. Lorelai: Yeah. Well, still an improvement.

(Logan climbs in through the window) Logan: Wow, that move always looked cooler in the movies.

Sookie: No more pork! Lorelai: Finally something to put on our business cards.

Rory: Well, it is Friday night. Lorelai: Yeah, but Friday night dinner without Ava and Adolf. Lovely. Rory: It's really not fair calling Grandpa Adolf. Lorelai: No, no, that was Grandma.