Gilmore Girls

(Lorelai runs into Luke in Doose's) Lorelai: Aah! What are you doing here? Luke: What are you doing here? Lorelai: I asked first! Luke: I ran out of cream. Lorelai: Oh. Uh, me too!

Rory:No, it was stupid! And I don't know what I'm doing here, you're sitting here in the kitchen… what kind of chaperone are you? Lorelai: Me? I'm not trying to be a chaperone. I'm trying to be a girlfriend. Rory: Well, switch gears, 'cause I'm freaking out here!

Rory: Maybe something's wrong. Maybe something happened to him. Lorelai: Maybe he's just late Miss German train.

Lorelai: I'm going to be so cool in there, you will mistake me for Shaft.

(Lorelai is sitting at a table watching Rory and Lane out the window.) Luke: Coffee? (no answer) Aw, come on. Are you mad at me too? I mean, a man can't choose whether or not he wants a picture of a fat, stupid bird on his wall? My God, that's the reason the damn Pilgrims came here in the first place. Lorelai: Luke, I wasn't snubbing you. I didn't hear you and now I'm concerned about you. Luke: Sorry, just feeling a little persecuted lately. Coffee? Lorelai: Please. Luke: You OK? Lorelai: Yes, I'm fine. Luke: You don't look fine. Lorelai: Well thank you. Luke: I just meant you look concerned. Lorelai: I'm preoccupied. Luke: You look concerned. Lorelai: Well I'm not. Luke: Fine, you just look it. Lorelai: Hey, you know some streamers would look so great in here. Luke: OK, I'm done. Lorelai: Thank you. (Later...Luke comes back to the table) Luke: I'm not gonna say you look concerned. Lorelai: I'm not gonna talk about how good you'd look dressed like one of the guys from The Crucible. Luke: Fair enough.

Lorelai: Hi, I'm back. Rory went to wash her face. Dean: Oh okay. (silence between them for a little bit and Lorelai pauses the movie) Lorelai: Dean, I don't know exactly how to say this, but um this is a very different kind of household you walked into tonight. Dean: Yeah, I know. Lorelai: See, Rory is my daughter. Dean: Ahh, here comes the talk. Lorelai: How 'bout I talk, you listen? Rory is a smart kid and she's never been much for guys, so that fact that she likes you means a lot. I don't believe she'd waste her time with some loser. Dean: But you're watching me? Lorelai: Sweetheart, the whole town is watching you. That girl in there is beloved around here. You hurt her, there's not a safe place within one hundred miles for you to hide. This is a very small, weird place you've moved to. Dean: I've noticed. Lorelai: So, just know all eyes are on you. Dean: (waits a second) Anything else? Lorelai: She's not going on your motorcycle. Dean: I don't have a motorcycle. Lorelai: She's not going on your motorcycle. Dean: Fine, she won't go on my motorcycle. Lorelai: Curfew will be enforced, you will not detract from her schoolwork, and you're gonna start handling those lemons better-- Dean: What? Lorelai: Dont' interrupt me when I'm speaking. I reserve the right to change, alter, tweak or add to this list of rules at any given time without any written notice, am I clear? Dean: You're clear. Lorelai: (nods her head) Good. Dean: My turn to speak? Lorelai: (gets a shocked look on her face) Fine, go ahead. Dean: You can lay on all the rules you want and you can have the whole town spy on me and, and stare at me and chase me through the streets-- Lorelai: Ahh, I like the chasing through the streets idea. Dean: But, I just want you to know that I'm not going anywhere. Lorelai: Well it's gonna be a short chase then, isn't it? Dean: I need you not to hate me. If you hate me, then I don't have a shot in hell with Rory. Lorelai: Rory has her own mind. Dean: Yeah, but you're her best friend and what you think means everything to her and you know that. Lorelai: (her face softens) I wanna like you, because Rory likes you. Dean: But you don't. Lorelai: I want too. And I usually get what I want. Dean: Fair enough (Lorelai resumes the movie). She's taking a long time on her face. Lorelai: Yeah, well, Rory's a perfectionist.

Lorelai: So? Rory: Got it! Lorelai: Score! You know on the one hand I'm glad it was in, but on the other what kind of world do we live in when no one is renting Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? Rory: Well we rented it. Lorelai: Thank God for us.

Lorelai: One of us has got to do laundry tonight. Rory: Why? Lorelai: Because I haven't had any clean underwear for three days. Rory: So right now under your skirt you're wearing..? Lorelai: Not underwear. Rory: MOM! Lorelai: Kind of nice actually, breezy. Rory: My role model ladies and gentlemen.

(after meeting Dean in the supermarket) Lorelai: See, that wasn't so bad. Rory: You're right Lorelai: I said nothing embarrassing, nothing stupid. Rory: I appreciate that. Lorelai: So chill out supermarket slut. Rory: See, even a little information in your hands is dangerous.

(After Lorelai confronted Rory about the kiss) Rory: What now? Lorelai: Now?... Nothing. Rory: No? No lecture about kissing a boy? Lorelai: No! Why, did you do it wrong? Rory: No?! I don't think.

Rory: That's my mom! Dean: She's got energy. Rory: Yeah, well, she's 90 percent water, 10 percent caffeine.

Lorelai: He kissed you and you said 'thank you'? Rory: Yes. Lorelai: Well that was very polite.

Lorelai: I'm afraid that once your heart's involved, it all comes out in moron.

Lorelai: Okay, I'll uninvite him then. I'll just say it's cancelled on account of I just found out that I'm my mother and I need to go into intensive therapy right now.

Lorelai: Are the lids tight on the paint thinner because you're sounding a little loopy to me. Mrs. Kim: Loopy, what's loopy? Lorelai: (laughing) Rory's not kissing anybody.

Lorelai: He kissed you again? What, is he just out of prison or something?

Rory: This isn't Amish country. Girls and boys usually date alone.

Luke: You're not going to kill the bag boy. Lorelai: Why not? Luke: It's double coupon day. You'll bring down the town.

Rory: I got kissed! And I shoplifted!

Lorelai: (to Rory) So, kissed any good boys lately?

Lorelai: Stop saying mother like that. Rory: Like what? Lorelai: Like there's supposed to be another word after it.

Rory: He kissed me! Mrs.Kim: What? Who kissed you? Lane: Uh, the Lord, Mama.

Rory: (to Dean about the movie Boogie Nights) You'll never get it past Lorelai. She had a bad reaction to Magnolia. She sat there for three hours screaming "I want my life back!". Then, we got kicked out of the theater. Actually, it was a pretty entertaining day.

(Lorelai and Rory serve themselves after trying various gambits to get Luke's attention, including Rory's announcing -- to no response -- that Lorelai is not wearing underwear.) Luke: No tip? Lorelai: Oh yeah, here's a tip -- serve your customers! Luke: Here's another -- don't sit on any cold benches!

Lorelai: Ugh! Look how he just handled those lemons. Luke: What are you talking about? Lorelai: He just threw them in the bag. Not tossed them, or placed them, but threw them like they were nothing to him. Luke: They're lemons. Lorelai: They're symbolic.

Lorelai: That Lothario over there has wormed his way into my daughter's heart and mouth and for that he must die! Luke: That's it, let's go.