-
Paris: Janet, wait, wait! (runs into the room and hugs Janet) I hate that our little clique is breaking up. It's so the end of something.
JANET: You off your meds, Paris?
Paris: You never get emotional at goodbyes?
Janet: With people I like. See you.
-
Liz: Were you this nervous on your wedding day?
Lorelai: Mmm, never been married.
Liz: You have a kid!
Lorelai: Yeah, found a way around that.
Liz: I see. You want to get married?
Lorelai: Oh, now, Liz. It's inappropriate for you to propose to me on your wedding day.
-
Liz: This is the first of my weddings I've been sober for, so I'll probably remember this one!
Miss Patty: Ooh, the ones you remember are the ones that stick!
-
Jess: (Jess knocks on the door as he walks in) Are you ready? The crowd's getting restless.
Liz: You're getting restless. Hey, do you two know each other? Lorelai: Oh, Jess and I go way back. He dated my daughter.
Liz: Oh, you broke her daughter's heart?
Jess: Ah, I, uh...
Lorelai: No, no, he didn't. It just didn't work out.
Liz: Good, 'cause I don't want him to be like his father, breaking hearts. I want him to be like T.J. Or my second husband or, like my boyfriend after my third husband, who died. THOSE were good guys.
-
Jess: Yeah, but, in a relationship-any relationship-it's important to let the other person know you appreciate them so you don't create barriers that delay any hope for reciprocation. Luke: I think I read that somewhere. Jess: Yeah? Luke: You were hoping for reciprocation? You got it. I'm here, Jess. I'm always here.
Jess:Thanks.(They shake hands then hug)The tie work out? Luke: The tie was perfect.
-
T.J.: Well, I wrote something down, but for all the good points about tights, and there are a lot, they don't have pockets. So I gotta go off the cuff. I love you.
Lorelai: Aw, that wasn't so funny.
Luke: No, that wasn't funny at all.
-
Minister: (strolls into the gazebo singing and strumming a guitar) As kids we shared our toys/with all the girls and boys/barrel of monkeys/your battleship sunk me/please recall the joy/Wheelo, Clue, Mousetrap/bash and spirograph/kaleidoscopes spinning/Yahtzee I'm winning/think of how we laughed/but today we share our love/today we share our love/for love is the greatest toy around/around, around
Luke: [trying not to laugh] Help.
Lorelai: Think of something not funny.
Luke: Can't.
Minister: You may plant the ceremonial sword.
[Together, Liz and T.J. plunge a sword into a tree stump.]
Lorelai: Avalanches, earthquakes...
Luke: Not doin' it.
Lorelai: Famine...and I'm out.
-
Jess: Maybe it's time to put on a shirt.
T.J.: Why, am I getting you hot?
-
Jess: Don't say no just to make me stop talking or make me go away. Only say no if you really don't want to be with me.
Rory: No!
(Jess backs away and leaves)
-
Lorelai: Hey, Kirk, maybe you want to ease up on Patty a little.
Kirk: But the maypole is an expertise of mine. I re-enacted the dwarf's maypole choreography from "The Safety Dance" video, my junior-high talent show. Chicks were falling at my feet.
Kirk: (as he leans over and shouts) I'm less than impressed, Patty!
Lorelai: Take a break, please. I've seen Miss Patty get violent. It's not pretty. Remember that time?
Kirk: That's when she beat me up.
Lorelai: Yeah. Let's not repeat that.
Kirk: Okay.
-
Luke: (asking Liz and her friends about cooking turkey legs) Do you guys have any idea if I'm doing this right?
Liz's bridesmaid: (NOT talking about turkey roasting) Most guys don't know if they're doing it right.
-
Mrs. Kim: And good price, seeing as how it may have belonged to James Madison. It was commonly known that James Madison liked big knockers.
Lorelai: (laughing) I bet a lot of the founding fathers liked big knockers. I'm sorry for laughing. I'd explain if I could.
Mrs. Kim: It's a double entendre. I've been in this country 20 years. I get things.
Lorelai: I never doubted.
-
Liz: Now go on, Luke's waiting. Unless my friend Carrie suffocated him with her boobs.
Lorelai: Well, that would be festive.
-
Mrs Kim: This will clean up. Window will be fixed. Temporary fridge. (to Zack and Brian) You two are girls. I will have my tea now.
-
Liz: I don't want to screw up this marriage even more than I want some pot, that's how serious I am.
-
Lorelai: I was born 400 years too late! This food is amazing!
-
Kirk: Nice maypole, Patty! Really organized!
Miss Patty: Oh, shut up, Kirk!
Lorelai: Tough day, Patty?
Miss Patty: I've worked with Joan Crawford. This is worse.
Kirk: I don't call that a maypole! I'd call that a 'maybe-not' pole!
-
Luke: I'll see you. Before then, but I'll see you then, too.
Lorelai: Yeah, I'll see you... both of those thens.
-
Lorelai: Did he sound like he was in Philadelphia when he called?
Rory: You mean, did I hear guys in the background saying, 'Get your Philly cheesesteak here!'?
-
Emily: So, where were we?
Rory: We were all about to switch to new subjects.
-
Sookie: They're puny! They're tasteless!
Jackson: Puny? These are not puny!
Sookie: If they're small enough to shove up our son's nose, they're too small!
Jackson: No way could you shove one of these up Davey's nose!
Sookie: Betcha five bucks!
Jackson: Get him in here!
Lorelai: Hi, guys. You probably shouldn't shove a radish up your son's nose. Just thinkin' out loud.
-
Paris: I hate that our little clique is breaking up. It's so the end of something!
Janet: You off your meds, Paris?
Paris: You never get emotional at goodbyes?
Janet: With people I like.
-
Lorelai: Ooh! Ahh! There's a horse in the dining room!
Rory: What?
Lorelai: Cletus is in the dining room!
Rory: Why?
Lorelai: He heard about the terrific continental breakfast? I don't know, I gotta go look into this.
-
Lorelai: Okay, new Dragonfly Inn rule -- everyone listening? Okay, if you see a horse in the Inn or any other large quadruped or biped, or anything not -- what's the word -- human, figure no one's doing anything about it and do something!
-
Rory: If you see him 100 yards away disappearing around a corner, I really don't need to know that. If he comes up to you and spits in your face, report that.
Lorelai: Permission to spit back?