Gilmore Girls

Lorelai: Wow, they can make a movie about this someday! You know, the reluctant, handsome diner owner sponsoring a team that goes all the way to the national finals, and you know who would play you? Luke: Who? Lorelai: Tobey Mcguire! Luke: He's way younger than me. Lorelai: But his career is hot, go with Tobey. Luke: What about that Vito Morganstern? Lorelai: Sure... Or Viggo Mortensen. Or Donald Sutherland. Luke: Too old. Lorelai: We'll dye his hair. Luke: He's got jowls! Lorelai: You're picky!

Emily: Young Lady I insist that we go somewhere and talk right now. Rory: Grandma, I am sorry, I can't. Emily: There's a kitchen here. We'll go there. Rory: No, I'm not going to the kitchen with you. We'll talk later. Emily: Must they play those damn guitars? Rory: They're balalaikas. Emily: They're too loud. Rory: They're Russian and they're not miked. That's their volume.

Lorelei: Bobcats 37, Humanity nothing.

Man: Shut up! Finn: God has spoken to me! Rather rudely.

Rory: Jess, wait. Jess: We shouldn't have done this. Rory: He's just in a bad way lately. Jess: He's a jerk! Rory: He was. In there, definitely. I'm so sorry. Jess: I read that guy the second I saw him. I should have begged off. Rory: Well, I didn't want you to! Jess: He'd better not come out here. Rory: Please, Jess. He had a lot to drink. He's tired from traveling. This isn't him. I swear. Jess: What the hell is going on? Rory: I told you, he's tired! And his family's bugging him right now - Jess: I mean, with you! What's going on with you? Rory: What do you mean? Jess: You know what I mean! I know you. I know you better than anyone! This isn't you. Rory: I don't know. Jess: What are you doing? Living at your grandparents' place? Being in the D.A.R.? No Yale - why did you drop out of Yale? Rory: It's complicated! Jess: It's not! It's not complicated! Rory: You don't know! Jess: This isn't you! This! You going out with this jerk, with the Porsche! We made fun of guys like this! Rory: You caught him on a bad night. Jess: This isn't about him! Okay? Screw him! What's going on with you? This isn't you, Rory. You know it isn't. What's going on? Rory: I don't know... I don't know.

Lorelai: I tried so hard. I have a list of things that he's afraid of on the fridge. And I try to do the right thing. I should not have socialized him at Kirk's doggy day care the other day. I should have taken him to the best doggy day care in the country, even if it was in Seattle. That's where I should have taken him. Luke: He's fine hanging with Kirk. Lorelai: I did this wrong. I did this all wrong! How could I have let this happen? How did I not see it coming? How didn't I step in and do something? And why can't I fix these things? Luke: (rubbing her neck) Hey. Lorelai: I'm a bad mother! Luke: You're not a bad mother.

Soccer Girl: She went one way, and her knee went the other!

Jess: So yeah, I just wanted to show you that....and tell you that I couldn't have done it without you. Rory: Thanks.

Rory: Jess, you've got such a great brain. I knew that if you could just sit down and stop shaking it around that you could do something like this. I knew it, I knew it! Jess: I know you did.

Logan: Well, you have got to be free tonight, my dear. 'Cuz I am getting the group together for a blow out. Do not tell me your working. Rory: I can make some time for you. (sees Emily) Oops...evasive maneuver. Logan: What? Rory: My grandmother. Logan: She coming at you with a knife or something? Rory: it's one thing to be forced to live in the big house, but now the big house is feeling Tom Thumb tiny. My grandmother is everywhere. Logan: The older generation. They have their own methods of ubiquity. Rory: I'm positive that they are at least five of her wandering around the property like she's a Cylon.

(While discussing Logan's newest business trip with his dad) Rory: So where is he dragging you this time? Logan: A paper in Omaha. What state is that in again? Rory: Nebraska. Logan: Uh...corn, farm animals...football? Rory: Oh, and they love condescension in Nebraska, too, so hit them with that as soon as you disembark.

Rory: (talking about Jess) He's doing something. I'm not! Look at me! I'm living at my grandparents Logan: Temporarily. Rory: And I'm out of school. I'm in the D.A.R.! I don't even have a job. Logan: Again, temporarily. Rory: All we do is party and go to clubs. This isn't me. You can do anything you want. YOU have doors opened for you. Logan: Hey, don't pull me into this! Rory: I'm not! Logan: Yes, you are. You said all I do is party and go to clubs. I gave you one month to party and do whatever you wanted. Guess what? That month's over. When I ask you out, you can say no. I'm not forcing you to do anything with me. I don't have doors opened for me, all I see is one door and I'm being pushed through it. (No one speaks) Logan: Come on, let's go. Rory: I don't want to go. Logan: OK fine. (puts down money on table close to them) That should pay for the food and the cab too.

Emily: Young lady, where were you? I was worried. I called everyone from your address book and no one knew where you were! Rory: You mean you called everyone from my private address book after you took it out of my room? Emily: Yes. And half the numbers were disconnected. You have friends from high school in there! You know what? I'm going to throw it out. And you know what else? I'm tired of you sleeping 3 nights a week at Paris'. Rory: You will NOT throw out my address book and I am NOT sleeping 3 nights at Paris'. I'm sleeping 3 nights at Logan's.

Emily: Don't you dare take that tone out on me, young lady! Rory: I'm sorry, Grandma, but you're forcing the tone out!

Rory: (to Logan) I can't believe you were such a jerk to him, Logan. He's finally doing something! He wrote a book and you mocked him!

Emily: When your father gets home, we're going to talk about the house rules and we're going to be on the same page, once and for all. Rory: You mean my grandfather. Emily: You know what I meant. Rory: Well, I'd have to be living at the house to have house rules. Emily: What does that mean?

Emily: You're grounded! Rory: You can't ground me! I'm 21! Grandma, I go wherever I want, whenever I want.

Emily: (angrily) You're becoming more like your mother every day! Rory: You're becoming more like my mother's mother every day!

Jess: Isn't school in session? Rory: Mm-hmm. Jess: Why aren't you living on campus? Rory: Because I'm not going. Jess: You graduated already, Doogie? Rory: No, I'm just taking a little time off.

Lorelai: (to Paul Anka, after he "picks" colors for her) You've got the Queer Eye, my friend.

Lorelai: Why? Did I say I didn't like red? Luke: I think your exact words where "Better dead than red". Lorelai: 'Cause I'm liking red now.

Lorelai: (about Paul Anka) He's very anal when he misbehaves.

Lorelai: Where do we go if we feel like making out in the middle of the game? Luke: I don't think they'd mind if we did it right here in front of them. Lorelai: Cool.

Luke: I want my girls to look good. Lorelai: Listen to Daddy Warbucks.

Lorelai: "L" is for Lorelai. Luke: "L" is for Luke's. Lorelai: Hey, our names have the same first letter.