Gilmore Girls

Lane: Hi.
Dave: Hi. (seeing her formal wedding-party garb) And hi.
Lane: This will not be the mental image you carry around of me the rest of the week.
Dave: No, it won't. (She turns away and he sees the enormous bow) Hold on, I just saw the back. Yes, it will.

Mrs. Kim: (to Lane, who is carrying a tray of water glasses) What is that? Lane: The bride's thirsty. Mrs. Kim: Regulate the water. Once the dress is on, that's it.

Mrs. Kim: (to wedding guest) Min Jae. You look good, not so fat. Min Jae: Thank you.

Rory:(excited) You got a "maybe" from Mrs. Kim! Lane: I got a "maybe" from Mrs. Kim!

Lorelai: Man, you need a lot of stuff for fishing. Luke: Well, normally you don't bring your own lake.

Rory: (to Paris) Im not sure what is more embarrasing, having Charleston yell at us or knowing the fact that we just had a, "shut up, no you shut up" fight in front of him.

Rory:(to Lane, after Dave fakes picking a fight with her) Okay, Please dont take this the wrong way, but I'm going to kick Dave in the shin, repeatedly, for the next hour and a half!

Rory:(realizes something is living in the Hug-A-World toy she found in the garage) I hugged it, I hugged it really tight!
Lorelai: Yes you did!
Rory: I have to shower!
(Runs off.)
Lorelai: (yells after Rory) Hey, hey, hey, what about the rest of the garage! Rory!

Luke: (to Jess about Nicole) Even if there was something, which I'm not saying there was, she's a suit. Not my type. Jess: Yeah, especially since she's not a monk. Luke: Oh, I don't go out that much, is that what that's supposed to mean? Jess: Take a look at a calendar. When's the last time you've been on a date? A year, two years ago? Luke: Last month, wiseass. I went out with Joanna Cooper. Jess: You gave her a ride home. Luke: A ride home is the end of a date. Jess: Only if you go on a date first. Luke: I'm not going to discuss this with you. Jess: Suit yourself. I have to go meet Rory anyhow. See, I'm gonna go pick her up. Spend a few hours actually being with her, then give her a ride home. That's called the end of a date. Luke: Or I could stay open a few hours later, which means you're here till ten. That's also called the end of a date. Jess: Hopeless. Luke: Bye now.

Rory: (very sleepy) You set my alarm for 5:15 AM. Lorelai: I know, and I did it for purely practical reasons. Rory: Which are? Lorelai: My alarm is just not as reliable as your scream.

Lorelai: Oh, this is not at all embarrassing. There's not even fish in it. (Luke dumps a bucket of fish into the pool) Luke: Trout. Lorelai: Hey! Aw, they're so cute! Hello, hi boys. And look, they're all "ooh" like they're singing in a little trout choir. Luke: I wouldn't get too attached. Lorelai: Hi Gomer. Luke: There you go. Lorelai: Oh, don't be scared Pinky. Luke: And now there's Pinky. Lorelai: Pinky Dowdy from fourth grade. See her eyes darting back and forth, all panicked? She got that way from dodge ball. It's okay, Pinky, nobody's gonna hurt you. Hey Pete, stop crowding Pinky. It's okay, Pinky, just go over there behind Cheryl. Luke: Okay, now that everybody knows each other, take this.

Lorelai: If I clean up Hug-a-World, does that cancel out me not getting rid of the boxes? Rory: I'll consider it a wash. Lorelai: How about if I chase it and bring it back? Rory: What? Lorelai:: Hug-a-World would like to see the world. Rory: It's moving. Lorelai: There's something living there besides Canadians.

Rory: Hug-a-World! Lorelai: What? Rory: Hug-a-World, it's my Hug-a-World. Lorelai: Where's the world? Rory: It's faded. Lorelai: Oh, wait, I can see something. Rory: Canada. Lorelai: Canada, nice. Okay. Rory: What are you doing? Lorelai: I'm throwing it out. Rory: You can't throw out Hug-a-World. Lorelai: I'm not throwing out Hug-a-World, I'm throwing out Hug-a-Canada.

Luke: So tell me something, what's it like being Taylor's lawyer? Miss Leahy: Well actually I'm not Mr. Doose's lawyer or only lawyer. He's one of our clients. So all our attorneys deal with him on a rotating basis. It's my month. Luke: My condolences. Miss Leahy: You know my father always told me that whatever does not kill you makes you stronger. Luke: You're gonna be really strong.

Rory: What ever happened to that one? Min Cha? She married a real mean guy. Lane: Wan Nam. Didn't I tell you about that? Well, Min Cha put up with 7 years of Wan Nam telling her she was stupid and ordering her to cook all his meals. Then one day he was in the kitchen looking for his lunch and she just snapped. Took a carrot peeler and turned on him. Rory: A carrot peeler? Lane: You can get those things pretty sharp. Anyway, she just came at him and started peeling. The neighbors called the police. They showed up and Wan Nam just stood there all peeled. Rory: What happened? Lane: He didn't press charges but now he makes all his own meals, sleeps in a locked separate room and keeps a cutting board by his bed for protection. Still married though. Rory: Wow peeled to death. That's a bad way to go.

Lorelai: I like Alex but I'm not sixteen. I don't lie to a guy to make them like me. I just got stuck when he said fishing and camping, and I was trying to be nice and not say, "Great - cold, wet and smelly. My three favorite things after those witches from Macbeth."

Luke: What the hell is going on Taylor? Taylor: I'm renovating your building. You know that very well. Luke: I also know that the renovation is supposed to be going on over there inside the building. Taylor: There is plenty of room to move around if you turn sideways. Luke: I'm gonna punch you in the nose.

Lorelai: Yes, it scared me, while you stood by calmly like Dr. Dolittle chatting with the bat. Rory: It was a bat, wasn't it? Lorelai: Wearing an Ozzfest t-shirt I believe. Rory: Will the man ever be able to live that down? Lorelai: Well, Joe Namath will forever be wearing pantyhose. Rory: True, very true.

Rory: Did you hear the way he was talking to you? "Play like a guy, Lane." Well, cry like a girl, Dave!

Rory: Nice move on using the word escort instead of the word date. Lane: The subliminal is half the battle, Rory.

Jess: She laughed at your jokes, and we both know there's gotta be some ulterior motive when people laugh at your jokes.

Nicole: (to Jess) Excuse me? Hi, I'm looking for a Mr. Lucas Danes? Jess: (to Luke) Oh Lucas!

Lorelai: I look adorable! No one ever told me that if you fish, you get to buy an outfit. I'll do just about anything if I can buy an outfit!

Rory: I fell off the chair. Mrs. Kim: Well, don't.