Gilmore Girls Season 6 Episode 20

Paris: It means he's out of immediate danger. He's young and healthy and they expect him to make a full recovery.
Rory: Really? Like, a full recovery, like, he's going to recover? Fully?
Paris: That's what the doctor told me.

Lorelai: (about April's party) Let me be part of it.
Luke: No.
Lorelai: Why?
Luke: Because it's too soon.
Lorelai: Why is it too soon?
Luke: Because the minute you get involved in her life, it will be all over for me.
Lorelai: What? That's ridiculous.
Luke: No, it's not ridiculous! You're colorful, you're funny. You're practically a cartoon character. Kids love you. I wouldn't want to hang out with me either after meeting someone like you.
Lorelai: Luke!
Luke: She'll like you better. That's just a fact.
Lorelai: But you're her dad.
Luke: Yes. I am her dad, and this is the way I want it to be.

Lorelai: April, you look great!
April: Lisa says I have excellent bone structure.
Lorelai: Oh, well, I agree.
April: So it's not weird when someone compliments your skull?
Lorelai: No, a woman takes any compliment that comes her way.
April: Got it.

Girl: Hey, Lorelai, check this out. (closes her eyes and reveals a set of painted-on eyes on the inside of her eyelids)
Lorelai: Ew. Cool, your eyes have eyes!
Girl: Freaky, right?
Lorelai: Yeah. You could fall asleep in class, and nobody would ever know!

April: (telling Lorelai what color she wants for her cheek drawing) Purple. I'm obsessed with purple. Probably because I'm obsessed with "Harold and the Purple Crayon." I know I'm too old, but it's still, like, one of my all-time favorite books.
Lorelai: That's okay. I'm too old for US Weekly, but that never stopped me.

Lorelai: You look older, wiser.
Luke: Well I did spend a lot of time squinting at historical documents.
Lorelai: That's what it is, Constitution-face.
Luke: Well, I brought you something.
Lorelai: Aw, did you steal me the Constitution? Cause that could be the start of a really dumb movie.

Rory: Hey.
Logan: So my dad just left.
Rory: I saw.
Logan: I can't believe he actually visited. And he was only moderately hostile, slightly condescending and no more self-centered than usual.
Rory: Well, its good that he came. Good for him. You feeling any better?
Logan: I am. Of course, that could have something to do with the 27 different medications they have me jacked up on.
Rory: I checked with the doctor. It's mostly cough syrup and baby aspirin.
Logan: What's wrong? I'm feeling better. (Rory looks away upset) What?
Rory: I'm sorry
Logan: About what?
Rory: About letting you go on this trip. I should have stopped you. I was just so busy being mad at you, I didn't think I was trying to punish you, but I was trying to punish you.
Logan: No, Rory
Rory: I should have stopped you.
Logan: Hey, you couldn't have stopped me. A team of psychiatrists with tranquilizer guns couldn't have stopped me. I was going no matter what. It's my fault. Do not feel guilty about this.
Rory: I just you out the door. I didn't even care. I was so cold. I just....I could have lost you.
Logan: You didn't lose me.
Rory: But I could have, though.
Logan: Look, I'm the one screwing things up with us here, not you. I'm sorry you're in the hospital right now. I'm sorry about all of this. I don't know what is going on with me, but I'll get better. OK? Things will calm down, I just need you to bear with me, OK? OK?
Rory: OK (Rory holds Logan's hand and runs her other hand through his hair. Logan smiles back at her)

Anna: I can't believe you did this, Luke. You said you wanted to throw her a party. YOU.
Luke: Yeah, I did. I threw her a party.
Anna: No. You had your girlfriend throw her a party. A girlfriend I don't know, a girlfriend I've never even met!

Anna: April told me you spent the night downstairs.
Luke: Well, yeah, I slept in the storage closet, I thought it would be a little weird--
Anna: So while you were sleeping downstairs, your girlfriend was upstairs with the girls?
Luke: Well, yeah.
Anna: How am I supposed to explain that to the girls' parents? How do I tell them that I left their kids all alone with a woman I've never even met? Who does that?

Anna: (about April) I need her to have stability.
Lorelai: Right. But Luke and I, we're engaged. We are stable.
Anna: Engaged isn't married. People get engaged all the time.
Lorelai: Look, this isn't something casual, me and Luke. It's not anything we're rushing into, by any means. This has been a long time coming, a long time. This is real.
Anna: Well, that's wonderful. I'm really happy for you, but that doesn't change anything.

Anna: Look, I'm sure you're a great person.
Lorelai: I am. I have references.
Anna: But I'm a single mom here. I can't play fast-and-slow with the people in my kid's life.
Lorelai: I completely understand. I'm a single mom myself.
Anna: Okay, then you get it. I mean, what if April decided she likes you? What if she becomes attached to you? What if you become her best friend in the entire world, and then one day you just disappear?
Lorelai: Well, that's not gonna happen.
Anna: You don't know that. You can't guarantee it, and I can't take that chance.

Anna: You said you're a single parent, too.
Lorelai: I have a daughter, just like you.
Anna: Do you get at all where I'm coming from?
Lorelai: (long pause) I do.

Lorelai: I just wanted you to meet me so that....you could see that you don't have anything to worry about with April.
Anna: She's a 13-year-old girl; I always have something to worry about.

Anna: (to Lorelai) Luke just came into April's life. I'm still nervous about that. Luke's not a kid guy, never has been, and she's getting very attached. I need to make sure he's sticking around first. And then, when you two are married, we'll deal with that then. I'm not trying to be a hard-ass here; April is my world. I don't know if my way is the right way, but I have to go with my gut. This is how I want to do it.

Anna: If I can't trust you, Luke, then this arrangement is not gonna work. April is not a sweater that you're borrowing--she's my kid! And I need to know where she is and who she's with ALWAYS.
Luke: I know. I'm sorry. You can trust me, I swear.
Anna: You know what? I am too mad, I can't even look at you. (turns and leaves)

Lorelai: You know, I met you briefly earlier. You were filling salt and pepper shakers.
April: I remember. You were dressed in all black and had really blue eyes, not quite as blue today, but I think that's just the light.
Lorelai: These irises are all natural, baby!

April: So, you have a daughter, right?
Lorelai: Yes. Rory.
April: That's good. You'd be wasted on a son.
Lorelai: I'll take that as a compliment.
April: It is. You know, you remind me of my mom.

Sookie: What is Stars Hollow if not a haven for colorful characters?

(Over the phone)
Paris: Larry Summers is right, Rory. The university system is crumbling. Did you know that?
Rory: Paris -
Paris: I just found out that my microbiology final is an open-book exam. Can you believe that? I mean, why take the test at all? Why not just have our professors take it for us? Or better yet, they could just hand us our diplomas the moment we step on campus freshman year, along with some government cheese, a bong, and a T-shirt that says "Hard work is for suckers".

Lorelai: So now, what did I do in front of the camera?
Sookie: Well, when you spotted the videographer you got suddenly very excited to film your audition tape for America's Next Top Model.
Lorelai: Oh my God!
Sookie: Yeah.
Lorelai: I thought that was a dream!
Sookie: It wasn't.
Lorelai: The posing, the strutting, the inappropriate gyrating?
Sookie: All caught on video and several of Zach's buddies' camera phones.
Lorelai: Why didn't you stop me?
Sookie: I tried, we all tried, but you were on a mission. You kept saying, "I'm not here to make friends! I want to win!" And then after that...
Lorelai: There's an "after that"?
Sookie: You tried to start a limbo contest, a poker game, and a secret club for super cool party people only. None of those things really, you know, took off, especially the limbo considering your choice of limbo stick was
Together: Zach's great-uncle's cane.

Sookie: I'm kinda sad I wasn't at the party. I feel like I missed out.
Lorelai: I thought you might feel that way, so I brought you some leftovers.
(Lorelai reveals a plastic bag of goodies and gives it to Sookie)
Lorelai: Bonne Bell Lip Smackers, anyone?
Sookie: No!
Lorelai: Yes. We got Original, Glitter Gloss, Grape Crush, and Dr. Pepper.
(Sookie takes a lip gloss out and starts using it)
Sookie: Mmm, I feel like I'm 15 again. Jackson's so getting under my bra tonight!
(Lorelai brings her hands to her mouth and giggles)
Lorelai: Oh, my God!
(Sookie starts giggling with Lorelai in fake teen-like hysterics)

Lorelai: I forgot how much fun it could be just to put makeup on, y'know? It's become so pragmatic, such drudgery. It's like, all we use it for now is to look better.
Sookie: And why would the two of us need to look better?
Lorelai: Exactly. I mean, whatever happened to the questionably attractive glories of Wet 'N Wild blue eye shadow or crimping irons?
Sookie: Remember Sun-In and Aqua Net and Bonne Bell Lip Smackers? Oh, I used to love Bonne Bell Lip Smackers!
Lorelai: Well, who doesn't love lip gloss that doubles as a necklace? And they smelled so great.
Sookie: Ooh, except once, I had the chocolate fudge-flavored one and in Study Hall, Trevor Fink ate the whole thing.
Lorelai: No.
Sookie: And then he threw it up all over my copy of The Red Badge of Courage
Lorelai: Well, we all had a Trevor Fink in our lives.

Lorelai: All right, girls. Um, you're about to meet someone very special to me. Her name is Molly Ringwald. Now, I know you don't know who that is, but suffice it to say, she is my generation's Audrey Hepburn. And I know you don't know who that is either, but trust me, you're gonna love her. And yes, that is the guy from Two and a Half Men. All right, enjoy.
(Kirk starts the projection of the movie, "Pretty in Pink")

Lorelai: All right, everybody! Line up single-file behind us.
April: Oh, we already went to the bathroom.
Lorelai: Oh, I know. This is going to be so much better.

Luke: What can I get you, Kirk?
Kirk: How about a steaming cup of Chicory coffee?
Luke: It's not on the menu, Kirk.
Kirk: I know. It's on the sign.
(Kirk points to a sign reading "How about a steaming cup of Chicory coffee?" behind Luke's head. Luke turns and sees it)
Luke: That's a mistake.
(Luke quickly takes the sign down)
Kirk: Well, now all I can think about is Chicory coffee. I'm very susceptible to signage.
Luke: Well, come back when you're susceptible to ordering off the menu.
(Luke walks back over towards Lorelai)
Luke: You want anything?
(Looking behind Luke's head at another informative sign)
Lorelai: How about a nice plate of chicken fingers?

(Rory's phone call to Mitchum Hunztburger after she discovers he has no intention of visiting Logan in hospital)
Rory: Mitchum Hunztburger? Yes, it's Rory Gilmore. I just thought I'd call and remind you that Logan is lying in a hospital bed with a partially collapsed lung and a whole host of other potentially life-threatening injuries. And I'm figuring a guy like you, surrounded by nothing but a bunch of terrified sycophants, might not have someone in his life with the guts to tell him what an incredibly selfish, narcissistic ass he's been. So I thought I'd jump on in: swallow your pride, get in your car and come down here and see your son! Now!!

(Lorelai walks into the diner)
Luke: Thank God! Someone sane.

Luke: Where's the stuff?
Lorelai: What stuff?
Luke: The party stuff.
Lorelai: Oh my God I left the circus elephants in my car and I didn't crack a window.

Sookie: Super Cool Party People bid you Super Cool Adieu!
(Lorelai looks confused)
Sookie: That's how you said goodbye to everyone at the party.
Lorelai: Super.