Gilmore Girls

Lorelai: Oh, wait, are you Pennilyn Lott, my dad's college sweetheart? Pennilyn Lott: Yes. Lorelai: You're my almost-mommy. Pennilyn Lott: Well, I supposed that's one way of putting it... Lorelai: I'm so glad to finally meet you. Let me ask you something - would you have let me get a pony?

Rory: Oh, my god. Lorelai: What? Rory: He hired Brennon Lewis. Lorelai: And? Rory: Ew! Lorelai: He doesn't look that bad. Rory: He's the boy who dissected a frog, did not wash his hands, and then ate a sandwich. Lorelai: Ew! Rory: He's like the lost Farrelly brother. He's so stupid. He watched 'The Breakfast Club' and decided to tape his own butt cheeks together.

Lorelai: I don't want to sit in the car and eat all by myself. It's not fun. Jason: Does everything have to be fun? Lorelai: When I'm on a date, yeah.

Lorelai: Let's not talk about me anymore. Let's talk about you. I'm worried. Luke: Why? Lorelai: Ever since you hired Brennon, the little spark has gone out of your eyes. Luke: It has? Lorelai: Yes, it has. And I am here to tell you that it is hell watching you go through this, so I think for your own sake, you should fire Froggy. Luke: Froggy? Lorelai: Uh, Brennon. Luke: You want me to fire Brennon, why? Lorelai: The spark. Remember the spark? Luke: Why do you want me to fire Brennon? Lorelai: Come back, little spark, come back. Luke: Lorelai. Lorelai: He doesn't write the orders down, he never brings you food that's hot or yours, he can't distinguish bagels from doughnuts, he hands out butt napkins, and he has worn that Foreigner t-shirt every single day since he started working here and he doesn't know who they are. I asked him. Luke: What are butt napkins? Lorelai: Kirk needed a napkin, and he pulled one out of his back pocket. Luke: Hey, Bren? Brennon: Yeah, boss? Luke: Did you give Kirk a napkin out of your back pocket? Brennon: Yeah. Luke: Don't. Brennon: Okay. Lorelai: That's it? What about all the other stuff? Luke: Look, you're just used to me. Give him time. Lorelai: Have you heard about the frog, the hands, and the sandwich? Luke: No, but I heard about the rabbi, the priest, and the duck. Lorelai: You're not taking me seriously. Luke: Hey, Bren, get Ms. Gilmore a cup of hot coffee, will ya? Give the kid a chance, all right? He's helping me out a great deal - decaf - and I have faith in him. All he needs is a little more time - black top - to learn the ropes and he'll be fine. Lorelai: Where did he go? Luke: Uh, I don't know.

Rory: Talk to me about Jason. Lorelai: There's nothing to talk about. Rory: Oh, come on. I'm in a serious romantic dry spell. I need to live vicariously through somebody. Lorelai: He has called. Rory: Okay. Lorelai: He has sent things. Rory: Pipe bombs? Lorelai: Flowers, candy. Rory: Even better.

Rory: Luke's gonna be mad. I mean, he hates it when we commandeer two tables during rush hour. Lorelai: Oh, he only hated it that one time. Rory: What time? Lorelai: The time when we did it and he was mad. Rory: He's hated it every time we've done it. Lorelai: No. Rory: Yeah. Lorelai: No, only the one time. Rory: Which time? Lorelai: The time we did it and he was mad. Rory: You're gonna do this to Luke, aren't you? Lorelai: 'Til he's so dizzy, he throws up.

Lorelai: Oh, man, this place is packed. Rory: Damn that Zagat guide. Lorelai: Only the loser mini-table is open. Rory: What do we do? Lorelai: Time to hover. You take the old couple, I'll hit the cybergeek. Rory: Got it. (walks over to an older couple eating) Hello. Lorelai: (walks over to a guy working on a laptop) Hello.

Lorelai: "Twenty-three is old. It's almost twenty-five, which is, like, almost mid-twenties." Rory: She did not say that. Lorelai: She did say that. Rory: It seems a little wrong that Jessica Simpson is alive and well and Roy got eaten by his tiger. Lorelai: Aw. Survival of the fittest, baby.