Gilmore Girls

Luke: They're gonna get cold. Lorelai: Are they different? Luke: Different than what? Lorelai: They seem different. Luke: They're nachos, now eat them. Lorelai: You used baked chips. Luke: What? Lorelai: You did, didn't you; you used baked chips and low fat cheese. Luke: I did not use...low fat cheese. Lorelai: HA! Luke: How can you tell!? Lorelai: How could you lie? Luke: They taste the same! Lorelai: (sighs) Oh the trust. Luke how are we gonna make it if you're constantly trying to keep me healthy? Luke: Fine, die at 60. Lorelai: Bring me a doughnut while I wait!

Sookie: How do you like the house? Lorelai: It's uh...great! Sookie: It uh, is? Why do you hate it?

(Luke hands Lorelai a glass of wine) Lorelai: Mmm, what an odd reward system you have!

Lorelai: Mom? Emily: I'm in the cockpit! Lorelai: Add that to the list of things I never thought I'd hear my mother say.

Lorelai: It's not your fault. Emily: That's right, it's not my fault! I did nothing but take care of her. I bought her clothes, I got her a job, I guided her. I threw her parties, I introduced her to new people, new things. And then she just...you should have heard the way she talked to me. You would have been very proud.

Luke (off screen): Lorelai? Lorelai: No. Land shark. Candygram. Here's Johnny. Ugh! Luke, open the door!

Lorelai: It's not the same thing, Mom--what happened with Rory. It's not the same. Emily: I lost her just like I lost you--it feels remarkably similar to me. Lorelai: You didn't lose her like you lost me. Rory was never even supposed to be here in the first place. She was always supposed to be at school--she just went back where she belonged. And you didn't lose me.

Lorelai: (on the phone) Yes, hello. Rory: Mom? Lorelai: Rory! Rory: I got a job! Lorelai: What? Where? Rory: At the Stamford Eagle-Gazette! It pays less than I'll spend on gas to get there, but it's a job! A writing job! Lorelai: Yes! Rory: And I'm going back to Yale! I already called them and talked to my dean and it's all arranged. I just have to find someplace to live, but who cares? I'll figure it out! Lorelai: And this is what you want? Rory: Yes. Lorelai: Are you sure? Rory: Yes. Lorelai: Oh, Rory! Rory: I moved out of Grandma's house. Lorelai: Yeah, I know, I heard! Rory: Are you home? Lorelai: Oh, no, I'm not, I - Rory: Okay, I know you're home, but, can I come over? Lorelai: Yes, yes, come over! Rory: 'Cause I'm staying at Lane's, and I don't know if you want me to, but - Lorelai: Tell Lane you're moving out and get your butt over here right now! Rory: Well, okay, if you insist. (Rory pulls into the driveway. Lorelai looks out the window and sees her car) Lorelai: Oh my God. Rory: What? Lorelai: You look just so much more silver than I remember! Rory: Now come on! Is it too much to expect after a lengthy separation to get some sort of heartfelt greeting? (Lorelai runs out the front door as Rory get out of her car. They run toward each other and hug) Rory: Oh, I'm sorry! Lorelai: You're sorry, I'm sorry. Rory: I was so mixed up. Lorelai: I should have pulled you out of there. Rory: I was stupid! Lorelai: No, I was stupid! Rory: I was more stupid! Lorelai: Uh, boy, time to get you back to Yale! Rory: I love you, Mom. Lorelai: Oh, kid, you have no idea.

Lorelai: I am happy. I'm just sad at the same time. What, you've never been with a woman before?

Lorelai: (To Luke) What? (Luke snorts) Lorelai: Oh, nice snort. Luke: I didn't snort. Sookie: People in Kansas talk funny!

Lorelai: (about Luke and the flames of the grill) No, he blows them out with his man-breath. Sookie: And then he challenges them to an arm-wrestling contest. Lorelai: And then he insults the flame's mother and then sleeps with his girlfriend.

Luke: No secrets. Lorelai: Cross my heart and hope to die. Luke: Oh, I hate that saying. Lorelai: No secrets. (They kiss) Lorelai: Luke. Luke: Yeah? Lorelai: When I was in fifth grade, I told everyone Eric Estrada was my boyfriend and we used to make out on his motorcycle. Luke: Shh.

Lorelai: I don't hear anything. Luke: Exactly. Lorelai: OK, Simon...Garfunkel.

Luke: (on their way into the bedroom) Close your eyes Lorelai: I'm not scared of it anymore, Luke.

Lorelai: (to Luke) Last time we were over, Sookie breast-fed Martha during appetizers. They owe us.

Lorelai: (to Luke on Rory's return) Don't skimp on the fries. We don't want to lose her again.

Lorelai: (to Luke) Rory's back! She's back at home, she's back at school, she got a job, and she did it all on her own. She's picking up her things at Lane's, and then we're pulling a major all-nighter. We need burgers, fries, doughnuts, onion rings, and anything else you can think of. Oh! I'm going to go next door to Doose's and pick up some ice cream. (kisses Luke and takes his hands) She's back. We can set the date. We can get married now, because Rory's back!

Lorelai: (to Emily) You never lost me.

Lorelai: (throws a ball for her dog) Hey, Paul Anka. Ah, that's it. Let it have a head start.

Luke: I haven't seen Anna in about... April: 12 years? Luke: Yeah.

Emily: Just let me buy my plane, Lorelai. Let me be frivolous and shallow please. Lorelai: Okay.

Lorelai: Tell you what, Zack, I'll give you $40 for Rory and you give me $1,200 for my garage.

Lorelai: More books. Michel: What is it wrong with people? Don't they know the written word is dead?

Lorelai: (to Luke while sitting on his lap) I want a Barbie, and a pony and roller skates, and some roller skates for the Barbie and for the pony...

Lorelai: (to Luke about his bachelor pad) See, once we're married, you won't be able to run away to your clubhouse anymore. You'll have to join a rotisserie baseball club just like all the other men.

Lorelai: (to Luke as he walks away) Enjoy Wisteria Lane, you major drama queen!

Jackson: Did I miss something? Sookie: Always, honey.

Sookie: (about Luke's grandmother's bedroom furniture) Maybe if you stripped the wood? Lorelai: Lit a match. Sookie: Maybe throw on a little gasoline.

Lorelai: Nice of you to let her crash on your couch. Lane: She's small, how much room can she take? Lorelai: Did she bring her books? Lane: Good point.

Richard (when he sees Colin & Finn in his house) Who the hell are you? Finn: If I knew that, I could dismiss my therapist.

Emily: (to the maid) If you expect that muffin to fly back to the kitchen, you better go and get a cape.

Luke: I got another surprise for you. Lorelai: Really, where? Luke: Upstairs, in the bedroom. Lorelai: The bedroom? What could it be?