Gilmore Girls

(Emily and Lorelai are organizing Trix's papers and they run across an old letter) Emily: This is to your father. It's a carbon copy of a letter she send to your father. Lorelai: Oh it's nice. Emily: "My dearest Richard, it's with heavy heart that I write this letter tonight but I can not stand by and let you make a terrible mistake. Until now I've thought, hoped, prayed that you would came to the same conclusion that I have. But you have not and therefor I feel it is my duty as your mother to beg you to reconsider your impending marriage. I'm sure that Emily is a very suitable woman for someone but not for you, she will not be able to make you happy. She does not have the Gilmore stamina or spark, she is simply not a Gilmore." Lorelai: Well sure 'cus you weren't directly related to him. Emily: "I don't know the circumstances surrounding your break up with Pennilyn Lott but it is still my belief that she is much better suited for you than Emily. I know that the timing of this is particularly awkward since you are to be married tomorrow!!!" Lorelai: No way! Emily: "But your happiness is to important to me so timing be dammed." Lorelai: She wanted dad to leave you in the alter. Emily: She begged him to leave me at the alter, she begged in writing and then she saved the carbon.

Glen: My month lasts a month. Your month lasts three days. That, people, is the story of my life!!

Rory: I cannot believe that story. Lorelai: Yeah. Well, trust me, the Brothers Grimm were over in the corner yelling,"No way!," Rory: And she just walked out? Lorelai:Yep Rory: Jewelry appraisal? Lorelai: Hand it to me. Rory: Why don't you just tell me where to put it? Lorelai: No. Because, I have a system Rory: hm. That letter sounds awful Lorelai: It was Rory: And really cruel! Lorelai: So cruel! So completely cruel that I'm kind of wondering if Gran didn't know Mom was gonna find it. Rory: Stop. It's too mean. I don't wanna think that there's that meanness in my genes...I don't wanna inherit something like that. Lorelai: Yeah well, who knows what we've inherited from that woman, count your toes lately? Rory: What are you talking about? Lorelai: Well, I've been saving the best for last. Rory: You're kidding Lorelai: Do you know what Gran's maiden name was? Rory: What? Lorelai: Gilmore. Grandpa Charles was her second cousin! Rory(completely grossed out): Noo! Lorelai: Yes Rory: What does that mean about us? What if that's caused, like, a horrible genetic mutation that hasn't shown up yet? Oh! Our eyes! Lorelai: What?! We each have two of them! Rory: I always thought it was neat that our eyes look kind of similar but now I don't know! Is it creepy?? Lorelai: I don't know, is it? Rory: I think it's creepy Lorelai: Okay, just hand me some more stuff and stop staring at my eyes. Come on

Lorelai: Oh, and then there's the obituary, I almost forgot about the obituary. Rory: What about the obituary? Lorelai: The paper wrote something, but Dad thinks it's not good enough. So I have to rewrite her death announcement. I should let Mom do it, I believe it would go "yay".

Rory: Snails? Emily: Escargot. Lorelai: A slimy thing by any other name...

Lorelai: Dad had a Winona in the family? How cool.

Kirk: I don't know why everybody in this town always thinks I'm crazy.

Kirk: I read lips. My girlfriend taught me. It's so we can have quiet time and keep the conversation going at the same time. Okay, she just said, "Hardwood sponge is the authority of the hostile biographer." And then he responded, "Just phone cords to original samovars."

Emily: [Gran] is to be cremated and have her ashes divided in two -- half to be buried with her husband in the family crypt, and the other half to be put in an urn and placed on our mantelpiece. Lorelai: Half of Gran is going to be on your mantel forever. Emily: Staring at me, judging me, disapproving of me. Lorelai: So apparently, it's the top half.

Lorelai: Keeping the bloodlines closed. Is that what we're calling it? Emily: Well, what would you call it? Lorelai: Oh, I don't know. How about "Good morning, Appalachia, I got a mighty cute sister and an extra set of toes."

Lorelai: I'm happy to do it. I'll bring coffee, a Danish. You've never had so much fun with death in your life.

Rory: (flirting with a boy) Yeah, philosophy is one of my favorite subjects right now. Lorelai: (walking by) Second cousin. Rory: Gotta go.

Marilyn: You look absolutely stunning! Please, tell me you're an idiot. Lorelai: Well, I have my moments.

Jason: Did you see that hug? Lorelai Yes, I did. Jason: It didn't end!

Lorelai: Oh, my God. I delivered Gran's clothes to the funeral home, but I forgot to include underwear. Rory: Gran's going commando?

Emily: (after Lorelai presses her to reveal why Emily's deceased friend Melinda had the nickname Sweetie) All right, fine. Sweetie's father was a very poor man -- so poor that Sweetie and her four siblings all had to sleep in a hollowed-out tree trunk because the house was only big enough for their parents. One winter, there was no food, so Sweetie crawled out of her trunk, wrapped her feet in newspaper, and walked forty miles in the snow to the nearest town, where she stumbled into a candy store. The owner took pity on her and gave her bags of candy, a dill pickle, and drove her back to her family. He promptly offered a job to her father, who gladly accepted and eventually owned that store and turned it into one of the most important candy emporiums in the world. And that is how she got the name Sweetie. There, how was that?

Rory: They're a little nutty. Lorelai: Yeah, with extra nuts on top.

Jason: And he was crying. I am really, really bad at comforting people. I say completely inappropriate things - bad jokes with words like Nantucket in them.