Gilmore Girls

Rory: Louis, I think this is the beginning of a wonderful friendship. Tristan: (pause) Who's Louis? Rory: Think about it.

Lorelai: (answering the phone) Independence Inn. Emily: I need the hat rack. Lorelai: (mysteriously) The fish flies at night. Emily: What? Lorelai: I don't know. Who is this?

Emily: Do you know that every night at dinner the Kennedy clan would sit around the table having lively debates about everything under the sun. They would quiz each other about current events, historical events and intellectual trivia. Now the Gilmore clan is just as smart and wordly as the Kennedy's so come on someone say something. Lorelai: Did you know that butt models make $10,000 a day? Emily: Camelot is truly dead.

Rory: Listen there's something I have to tell you. Lorelai: What? Rory: I loaned Paris your black mini and there's a good chance you may never see it again. Lorelai: Oh well there's something I have to tell you. Rory: What? Lorelai: You lost out on a quarter of a million dollars today.

(Madeline and Louise are in a nearly empty classroom on Saturday morning) Louise: I'm going back to sleep. Tell Paris I hate her.

Madeline: (to Paris) Looks like we're going to have to do the Pink Ladies makeover on you. Louise: We'll turn you from a sweet Sandy to a sluty Sandy. Dancing at the school fair with high heels, black spandex and permed hair.

Rory: (about Paris) She's going out on a date with Tristan. Lorelai: How'd that happen? Rory: I did a little matchmaking. Lorelai: (in a Ricky Ricardo voice) Lucy, how many times have I told you not to butt into other people's business? Rory: Never. Lorelai: (normal voice) Good going.

Paris: I brought everything just in case there was some sort of hidden potential in something that I just didn't see. So? Rory: Well you'd be one well-dressed widow.

Rory: Uh, Paris? What are these cards that fell out of your jacket? Paris: Oh yeah. Those are notes for tonight. Rory: Notes? Paris: Yeah. Just some reference points really. You know, subjects to bring up in case the conversation lags. Rory: Well can I suggest that you leave this one about the Spanish Inquisition out?

Rory: I swear to God. Paris: Are you atheist? Rory: Excuse me? Paris: Because that affects the validity of your swearing to God.

Richard: Long distance phone call. Lorelai: God? Richard: London Lorelai: God lives in London? Richard: No, my mother lives in London. Lorelai: Your mother is God? So, God is a woman. (Couple minutes later) Lorelai: I still can't get over the fact that I'm related to God. This will make getting Madonna tickets so much easier.

Lorelai: (about the rabbit they're having for dinner) You brought it with you from London? Trix: Yes. Lorelai: What, did you get it a seat? Richard: Dry ice. Lorelai: Wow! That's inventive.

Lorelai: What would Miss Manners say about this? Emily: If she met your grandmother, she'd understand.

Trix: You talk about me like I'm dead. Richard: Oh you're never going to die, you're too stubborn!

Lorelai: Work. Rory: Life. Lorelai: Dig it man. Rory: Peace out Humphrey.

(After Lorelai tells Sookie that Rory might get a lot of money from Trix but doesn't know it yet) Sookie: Hi, for that much money you wake her up! You hire a singing telegram! Women jump out of cakes! People dress up like bankers and dance around with those toasters!

Sookie: (about Rory) Call her now. Ooh, page her, or page her and have her call my cell phone and we can sing the money song from 'Cabaret.' You be Liza, I'll be Joel. Lorelai: I don't know. Sookie: Hey I'm Joel.

Lorelai: (about Rory) It's not about what she would buy. I don't care if she buys a house or a boat or the elephant man's bones.

Lorelai: I have to change and go to tea with Gran and the cast of Gaslight.

Paris: God, this is so weird. I can't stop smiling. Rory: Good, then it's a good time to talk about our over taxed peasants. Paris: Oh, let them eat cake.

Paris: I just wanted to tell you again that I had so much fun last night. Tristan: Yeah, after five messages on my answering machine, I kinda got that impression.

Lorelai: Mother, Grandma is a very old woman, I highly doubt that she's going to remember everything she ever bought you. Emily: She will remember down to the very last shrimp fork and do you know why? Lorelai: No. (to dogs) Do you guys know why? Emily: Because she doesn't just give you a present, she 'gives' you a present and she tells you where to put it, how to use it, what it costs - for insurance purposes of course - and God forbid you should have a different opinion or you don't think it works in the space or you just get tired of waking up every morning with those horrifying animals staring at you! Lorelai: (to the dogs) She's just upset. Emily: Stop talking to the dogs!

Rory: (about her great-grandmother) I hope she likes me. Lorelai: She'll love you. Rory: I hope she and Grandma get along. Lorelai: She'll love you.

Madeline: (about Paris) She does know this is a make believe government right? Louise: You ask her, I'm afraid.

Rory: Henry VIII started a new church when the old one wouldn't allow divorce. Paris: He also cut off his wife's head. Is he still your role model?

Paris: (about Rory and Tristan) You just seem weird around each other. Rory: Nope, no weirder than usual. Paris: I disagree. Rory: You usually do.

(Reading the menu at the restaurant where she's having lunch with Emily and Trix) Lorelai: Rose tea. That's funny. That's not really tea is it? It's like rose petals in hot water. More like a bad floral arrangement.

Paris: Read my manifesto, I want your thoughts. Rory: First thought - lose the word 'manifesto.' Paris: Too cabin-in-the-woods? Rory: Don't open your mail. Paris: Right.

Trix: (to Emily and Lorelai after the were arguing) Raising your voice during high tea, who ever heard of such a thing. It's like Fergie all over again.

Lorelai: Rory is an incredibly mature kid. Trix: Oh I'm sure she is. It's you I'm worried about. Lorelai : But - Trix: (to Emily) And I'm sure she gets it from you. Emily: But -

Emily (about Trix): Well I'd better get out there before she leaves me here. Lorelai: I'm sure you'll be sorry to see her go. Emily (sarcastically): Oh yes, I don't know what I'll do with myself.

(after screwing up the computer) Michel: I pushed nothing 'funky.' Lorelai: You have the funk, my friend.

Rory: What's up with you? Lorelai: Nothing. Rory: You've been ready and bugging me for almost an hour. Usually I have to drag you out of here kicking and screaming to go to dinner. Lorelai: Now then. Rory: You whine, you complain, you act like a child. Lorelai: I do not. Rory: I had to pay you five bucks once so you wouldn't go in sweats.

Lorelai: (about tea she had with Emily and Trix) Yeah well once you're done with those little sandwiches, there's not reason to pretend you like tea anymore.

Lorelai: There's food money on the table and I defrosted some yummy chocolate cake specially for you this morning, and I'll be home early, and did I forget anything? Rory: Don't be mean to Grandma! Lorelai: Yeah, yeah, broken record.

Paris: I don't know what to wear. Rory: Ever?