Headmaster Charleston: It's a distinct pleasure for me to introduce to you our Valedictorian. This young lady was a second-year transfer from a modest school where she distinguished herself immeasurably. She is humble, hard-working, competitive when need be, and unparalleled in her academic achievements. Ladies and gentlemen, Rory Gilmore.
Sookie: Not crying right?
Lorelai: Not crying. Keeping our cool so we don't miss anything.
Sookie: Tears get in your eyes.
Lorelai: Then you miss things.
Sookie: So we're not crying.
Lorelai: Not crying.
Sookie: (to Jackson) Not crying.
Jackson: (to Sookie) Not crying. (to Luke) Not crying.
Lorelai: No crying.
Luke: I'm not crying.
Rory: Headmaster Charleston, faculty members, fellow students, family and friends, welcome. We never thought this day would come. We prayed for its quick delivery, crossed days off our calendars, counted hours, minutes and seconds and now that it's here, I'm sorry it is, because it means leaving friends who inspire me and teachers who've been my mentors, so many people who've shaped my life, and my fellow students lives impermeably and forever. I live in two worlds. One is a world of books. I've been a resident of Faulkner's Yoknapatawpha County, hunted the white whale aboard the Pequod, fought alongside Napoleon, sailed a raft with Huck and Jim, committed absurdities with Ignatius J. Reilly, rode a sad train with Anna Karenina and strolled down Swann's Way. It's a rewarding world, but my second one is by far superior. My second one is populated with characters slightly less eccentric, but supremely real, made of flesh and bone, full of love, who are my ultimate inspiration for everything. Richard and Emily Gilmore are kind, decent, unfailingly generous people. They are my twin pillars, without whom I could not stand. I am proud to be their grandchild. But my ultimate inspiration comes from my best friend, the dazzling woman from whom I received my name and my life's blood, Lorelai Gilmore...
Sookie: (With tears in her eyes) Uh, oh -
Lorelai: (Also on the verge of crying) Hang in there.
Rory: My mother never gave me any idea that I couldn't do whatever I wanted to do or be whomever I wanted to be. She filled our house with love and fun and books and music unflagging in her efforts to give me role models from Jane Austen to Eudora Welty to Patti Smith. As she guided me through these incredible eighteen years, I don't know if she ever realized that the person I most wanted to be was her...
Sookie: (Choked up) Not crying.
Lorelai: (Slightly crying) Crying a little.
Sookie: Crying a little, but not blubbering. That's what we meant when we said no crying. No blubbering.
Rory: (Tearfully) Thank you Mom, you are my guidepost for everything.
Sookie: On the verge of blubbering here.
Jackson: (Choked up) Not doing too well myself.
Lorelai: (Looks over to see Luke) Not you, too.
Luke: (tearfully) I'm blubbering, you're freaks!