Gilmore Girls

Rory: (About Twickum) He has never died before...

Rory: Hello? Lorelai: He is dead. Rory: Who? Lorelai: Old man Twickum. Lorelai: No! Lorelai: Yes Rory: It's got to be a mistake. Lorelai: It's not. the man is gone. Rory: I don't believe it. I mean, are you sure? Lorelai: There's no breath left in him. The light's gone out of his eyes. He smelled the burnt almonds. He's feeding the worms. He's chatting up his grandpa. He is the old man formerly known as Twickham.

Sookie: (About Mr. Twickum) He should really start dying early in the day.

(Zach and Lane are entering the music store) Zach: Hey Soph! Sophie: You wash your hands? Zach: Front and back. Sophie: Let's see them! Zach: So we're never gonna forget the peanut butter on the sitar? (holds out hands for Sophie to see) Sophie: Good God, man, you heard of hand cream??? Zach: Okay if we walk around? Sophie: Carefully. Hi, Lane. Lane: Hey, Sophie. (holds a record album in her hand) Zach: Show her the thing. Lane: It might make her very self-conscious. Zach: That's why you brought it. Show her. (Lane walks over to the checkout counter where Sophie is writing things down.) Lane: So, Sophie Bloom, your last name is Bloom. Sophie: Thanks for the info. Lane: (says this really fast) I was looking through some old vinyl I have. I don't have much because I was born right on the cusp of the CD revolution, but I originally had a record player, a Snoopy record player, and boy did I love this record player and shutting my door and listening to music on it- Sophie: (clearly annoyed) Oh my God, Garrison Keillor, what is your point?! Lane: I saw the name Sophie Bloom on this album, the one non-Christian one my mother allowed me to have. It just popped out at me and I was wondering... (hands album to Sophie) Sophie: (looks at album) Oh, this thing. Lane: So it's you?! You wrote these songs?! Sophie: Long time ago. Lane: I think this is amazing because I want to do more than just drum. I would like to write and compose and I was wondering if we could sit down sometime and just talk about music because I think you have so much you could pass on to me, woman to woman, really just coffee sometime, my treat. Sophie: Well, I suppose sometime when I'm not working or out of town, if my boyfriend's busy and my laundry's done and I'm not sick and there's nothing on TV, we could maybe meet up for a couple of minutes. Lane: It's a date.

(Lane is drunk and fumes as she angrily walks into the music store and stalks over to Sophie who is rearranging things on a shelf) Lane: Sophie??? Sophie: Jeez, Lane, I don't have time for coffee right now. Lane: You owe me an explanation you woman! Sophie: What are you talking about? Lane: You know what I am talking about. I looked to you as a role model. Well not anymore except as a role model for heartbreak. I know what you can offer him. You're bohemian and experienced. Familiar with the world of sensual pleasure. Champange, Times Square. I'll bet you even smoked a cigarette or two. Sophie: Oh my God, your breath would stop an elephant. Lane: You've not only been to New York; you've lived there, so you know where the best coffee and bagels are. But you don't know him like I know him. For instance I know what cleaning products he likes, do you? Sophie: I'm not sure how to answer that. Lane: It's cheap thrills for you sister but he doesn't like you, he likes me. Sophie: Who? Lane: Zach. Sophie: Zach? Lane: Zach! Sophie: Come here! (leads Lane over to Zach who is practicing in a bluegrass band) Lane: Zach? Zach: Lane? Sophie: Talk! (leaves)

Kirk: I'll just sleep outside in the gazebo. I would ask, though, that if I die from exposure, don't just dump me in the landfill. Miss Patty: No one's dumping you in a landfill, Kirk. Taylor: It's against regulations.

Lane: He just flat out looked out of his face right into my face and said to my face that he was lying. Rory: Zach said that he was lying? Lane: No. He lied from his face into my face about where he was going. That's what hurts the most, the lie! Except for seeing him with that woman! That hurts most, more than the lie.

Lorelai: You threw a frying pan at Taylor's head without me? I hate you! Taylor: Just for playing my Muzak too loud. I mean, who doesn't love Muzak? Sookie: Music lovers? Luke: The thing slipped out of my hand. Taylor: Right after you said, "You better duck, Taylor, because I'm going to throw this frying pan at your head"?

Sookie: I forget, when was the last time we thought he was dying? Patty: It's been a good two years. Lorelai: I remember now. The last time - the rain? Sookie: We got drenched. Lorelai: Made the whole "he's dying" thing a total bummer.

Miss Patty: (discussing where currently-homeless Kirk will sleep) Maybe the Morrisses will take him again. Kirk: Their kid stuck things in my nose. Miss Patty: Well then, lock the door when you sleep. Kirk: It wasn't while I was asleep.

Modern-Day Stars Hollow Diorama Girl: And I love Jesus!

(On the Multimedia Diorama, about Stars Hollow foundation) Background voice : "The stars, so bright! This forest, so hollow! What name should I give this place? Hollow... Stars... Hollow... Stars..." fade out) Lorelai : No! Really? They`re gonna leave us with a cliffhanger?

Lane: (drunk) He can`t do this! We are friends too! As well as lovers, if we ever get married.

Kirk: Luke is peeking! Luke: It means you`re peeking too, snitch!

Taylor: Now, before we begin, I`d like us all to join hands. Luke: What? Gypsy: He is a twisted little perv, if you ask me.

Rory: (about old man Twickham) I can't believe that he's gone. I mean, he's been dying my whole life!

Taylor: Now don't be headstrong, Luke. One time I strained my pecs lifting a heavy birdbath, and they were never any good to me again.

(Rory and Lorelai are in Rory's room; Kirk walks in covering his eyes) Kirk: Can I get some water? Lorelai: Why are you covering your eyes, Kirk? Kirk: In case you're naked. Lorelai: You thought I'd walk into my daughter's room and get naked? Kirk: I don't know your domestic routine. Lorelai: Glasses are above the sink.

Taylor: We've got a big heavy ball here, how are your pecs?

Taylor: (voice over) Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to "The Stars Hollow Dioramic History Presentation". Please stand toward the center of the room, and remember, no talking, no smoking and please, no lewd behavior of any kind during our presentation. Luke: (jumping after being pinched by Lorelai on the behind) Hey... Lorelai: Just getting the lewd behavior out of the way before the presentation.

Lorelai: (noticing the broken window) What happened there? Luke: What do you think? Taylor. Lorelai: How did Taylor break the window? Luke: How do you think? By being Taylor. Lorelai: Taylor's "Taylorness" can now break glass? Luke: You know what I mean, he's doing something and then crash, bang, there you go.