Gilmore Girls

Lane: So, what's going on in the world? Lorelai: Nothing. Lane: Nothing? Lorelai: Good. Nothing good. There's absolutely nothing positive going on anywhere in the world. How could that be? Lane: That's why I don't read the paper anymore. Lorelai: You will mine. I am starting my own. The Good News Daily -- nothing but good news every day. Lane: Sounds good. Lorelai: "No civil war in Canada" -- big article. "Cars drive down road without incident" -- front-page news. "Puppies -- how cute are they?" In-depth exposé. And the subscription is free. How happy is that? Lane: I'm in a better mood.

Luke: You want some coffee? Lorelai: I'm beyond coffee. Luke: Beyond coffee. This is big. Lorelai: I'm fueled by my righteous indignation, I'll fill you in later.

Richard: They had a small fire there last week. Emily: They had a fire!? Richard: Well don't get excited. Emily: Is Lorelai okay? Richard: She's fine. Emily: Did you talk to her? Richard: I talked to her. Emily: You talked to her. Richard: Yes Emily, she had a small fire. Emily: Well how did she sound? Richard: Just like she'd had a small fire. It was a very quick face to face, and then I left. Emily: Face to face? You saw her face to face? Richard: Well I had to go over there. Emily: Why did you have to go over there? Richard: Because Emily, she'd just had a small fire. Emily: How did she look? Richard: Fine. Emily: Was she thin, heavy? Did she look tired? What was she wearing? And is she still in that nether-world of "I don't know what my hair is supposed to be?"

Lorelai: Sorry, I'm late. I found Paul Anka hiding underneath the kitchen sink, chewing on one of my favorite pairs of shoes. Sookie: Boy, that guy's career has really hit the skids.

(Logan is visiting Rory at the pool house with a big orange shopping bag) Rory: For me? Logan: For you. Rory: Wow, what's the occasion? Logan; Where is it written I need an occasion. Rory: Wow, you did it. You brought me the head of Alfredo Garcia. Logan: Open it, Ace. Rory: Wow, cool a bag. Logan: Look inside! Rory: Ok. Wow, cool a bag! (Rory looks inside the bag) Logan: I'm sorry but there isn't a bag inside the bag inside the bag inside the box inside the bag. (When they're ready to go, Rory grabs her old small purse, so she can put all the stuff inside her new purse. Then she sees that the new purse is so big, she puts the whole old purse in her new big one) Rory: Let's go.

Rory: Logan, it's ok. You can use the front door. Logan: No, this is cool. I got a tree stump I can use as a boost out here...or you can let down your hair.

Lorelai: For days, she's been emptying her house, sending me everything she doesn't need anymore, trying to smoke me out of my foxhole. Luke: Well, call her and tell her to knock it off. Lorelai: Oh no, that's exactly what she wants. I poke my head out of the foxhole, it gets blown off. Then I have no head, Luke.

Lorelai: We are the Inn on 'Sores and Boils Alley'. Michel: Oozing, festering. Sookie: Draining.

Lorelai: Kiss? Luke: I'm too mad.

Emily: (as she and Richard snoop through Rory's things) Oh don't worry, I used to do this all the time with Lorelai. One time I opened the drawer and it was chockfull of Tootsie Rolls. Hundreds and hundreds practically spilling out. What could a girl possibly want with a drawer full of Tootsie Rolls? Richard: Perhaps it was what was under the Tootsie Rolls? Emily: Under the Tootsie Rolls? Oh my God I should have looked under the Tootsie Rolls. Oh that is going to bother me.

Emily: (about Rory) Logan bought her the most beautiful and prestigious handbag in the world. Richard: A handbag? Emily: A Birkin bag! I've shown you pictures before? Around my birthday? So sophisticated.

Lorelai: Oh my God, I made it. Me, food, give. Luke: BLT emergency? Lorelai: Chili fries and black & white milkshake emergency.

Logan: If I'm not back in 5 minutes I'm probably in the big house picking out china patterns with Emily.