Joan: Oh my God. Oh my...Oh my God! You pervert! Will you put that thing away, or I'm calling the manager. Oh, my bad. Enjoy your hot dog.
Davis: We weren't soulmates.
Joan: Well, that's not all it's cracked up to be.
Lynn: Hey, Maya. Where you headed?
Maya: Oh, I'm just going to class in a stretch limo. You know how I do.
Edward: I can see I'm gonna be driving you to one of those 'special' schools.
Maya: Oh, no you didn't!
Edward: "Oh yes, I did."
Toni: The only people who go to movies alone are lonely, pathetic women and PERVERTS! Put that thing away!
Toni: Oh, dear God! It's worse than I thought. She hasn't killed herself, she's gone to the movies alone!
William: This is her picture. Isn't she beautiful? Just ignore her flipping me the bird.
Holden: (to Maya) Girl, you better jump on that!
Joan: My mother always said that when you break up with someone, God sends you love's equal value or better.
Toni: Is that what she was saying? I thought she said when you run out of lubricant, use butter. What? You know how your mama mumbles. And we know that she's a freak.
William: Here's a picture of my mama. Another picture of my mama... still another picture of my mama.
Donna: I have pepper spray!
Donna: (referring to Old Man) I'd go out with him before I'd go out with you.
Old Man: Sorry toots, I'm gay. (to William) But I do like me a good mama's boy.
Toni: (to Joan) You poor, pitiful, Valentine-less pool of denial!
Executive story editor Keith Josef Adkins makes a guest appearance as the theater manager.
Various: What are you, his P.I.M.P.?/What am I, your P.I.M.P.?
"P.I.M.P." was a #3 hit for rapper 50 Cent in 2003.