Special Guest Star
Brittany performs a solo for the first time in this episode.
The pamphlets that Emma is arranging at the beginning of the episode are: "Wow! There's a hair down there!"; "I still breastfeed … but how old IS too old?" and
"Proper Wiping: As Easy as 1-2-3"
Music featured in this episode:
"I'm A Slave 4 U" by Britney Spears
"Me Against the Music" by Britney Spears
"Baby One More Time" by Britney Spears
"Stronger" by Britney Spears
"Toxic" by Britney Spears "Only Exception" by Paramore
In this episode we learn that Brittany's full name is Brittany Susan Pierce (a.k.a. Britney S. Pierce) and she doesn't like to use it for fear of living in the shadow of Britney Spears.
Rachel: I'd like to dedicate this song to my boyfriend, Finn. I was wrong, I shouldn't try to control you. I've just, I've never been this happy before. And I realize that I was trying to hold on to how you were making me feel so much that I was strangling you in my hands like a little bird. I get now that in order for this relationship to work, I have to open up my hands and let you fly free.
Brittany: Finn can fly?
Will: You need me to stay with you or anything?
Rachel: No, I've been drinking herbal tea and taking anti-anxiety pills and reading the unabridged biography of Britney Spears. I look forward to the day when paparazzi provokes me and I attack them.
Finn: How do you feel about me not being on the football team anymore?
Rachel: I'm actually kind of happy about it. Now I don't have to fantasize about what song I'd sing at your bedside if you were in a coma.
Emma: You're such a great teacher, Will. No, probably the best in the whole school. So why would you want to be someone else when the someone that you already are is so amazing.?
Will: Because the boring someone I already am... wasn't good enough for you.
Brittany: (examining Joacob's hair) It looks like a Jewish cloud.
Principal Figgins: Quiet, please, children. Quiet now. First, students who ate the ravioli today and are not up-to-date on their tetanus shots should see the nurse immediately. Welcome to our homecoming pep assembly. Because of last week's grisly train derailment, the dulcimer club is on hiatus until further notice. But do we ever have a treat for you. Fresh off their last place finish at the Regionals, please give it up for the New Directions.
Lauren: Mr. Shue, let me be your Britney!
Will: How you doing, Sue?
Sue: Not sure if you heard, William, but my spinal column was ruptured in a sex riot.
Will: Sue, you pulled the alarm. Everything was going fine!
Sue: You know, William, that's what one Hubert Humphrey said back in 1968 at the start of the Democratic National Convention. But then hippies put acid in everyone's bourbon. And when an updraft revealed Lady Bird Johnson's tramp stamp and tattoos above her ovaries, Mayor Richard J. Daley became so incensed with sexual rage that he punched his own wife in the face and spend the next hour screaming 'sex party' into the microphones of all three major networks.
Will: Okay. I'm pretty sure none of that happened.
Sue: You can expect a call very soon from my lawyer-Gloria Allred. I'm gonna sue the pants off you, Will. I'm gonna take your house, your car, your extensive collection of vests. I mean, seriously, you wear more vests than the cast of Blossom. And I'll see you in court.
Sue: It's like an ink blot test that butt sweat stain. Stare into it William and you'll see the light of all that is good leave this world.
Will: (to Emma) You're calling me uptight? The woman who buys hand sanitizer by the barrel?
Carl: I'm gonna put you under a little general anesthesia. You won't feel a thing.
Brittany: Like roofies?
Carl: Yea, totally.
Brittany: Can I have a blue toothbrush?
Carl: I'll give you a hundred toothbrushes.
Brittany: Are you a cat?
Brittany: I'm more talented than all of you. I see that clearly now. It's Brittany. (pause) Bitch.
Brittany: I would just like to say that from now on I demand to have every solo in glee club. When I had my teeth cleaned I had the most amazing Britney Spears fantasy. I sang and dance better than her. Now I realize what a powerful woman that I am.
Santana: (to Rachel) Hey dork, did anyone ever tell you that you dress like one of the bait girls on To Catch a Predator?
Azimo: (to Rachel) Ooh, baby, you can hit me as many times as you want as long as you got that on!
Finn: You see what I'm talking about? They're personifying you!
Terri: (to Emma) Oh, hey home-wrecker.
Santana: (to Rachel) Well, congratulations. Normally you dress like a fantasy of a perverted Japanese business man with a very dark specific fetish but I actually dig this look. Yay.
Sue: William, I realize you're still mourning the loss of that bony, redheaded hominid you're in love with …. You're flailing, William. Now, I'm secretly hoping it's a midlife crisis which means you're halfway to an early death affording me a blissful, demented convalescence spent peeing on your grave.
Sue: (to Will) Don't let your own recklessness blind you to the fact that Britney Spears is a genius pop culture provocateur and a gateway drug to every out of control impulse ever created.
Brittany: Please don't pull out all my teeth. I'll look like an adult baby, but with boobs.
Brittany: This room looks like that room on that spaceship when I got probed.
Brittany: I don't brush my teeth. I rinse my mouth out with soda after I eat. I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist.
Santana: Can I just say you are the hottest dentist I've ever seen?
Carl: I get that all the time.
Santana: You can drill me any time.
Finn: How can you get caught between the moon and New York City? They're like a hundred miles apart.
Will: Who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?
Brittany: He discovered America.
Carl: I love that look of instant panic each time I try to change your routine.
Although credited Mike O'Malley (Burt Hummel) does not appear in this episode.
Original International Air Dates:
Canada: September 28, 2010 on Global
Australia: September 29, 2010 on TEN
Latin America: November 25, 2010 on FOX
United Kingdom: January 17, 2010 on E4/E4 HD
Sweden: January 26, 2011 on TV11
Czech Republic: August 27, 2011 on Prima LOVE
Slovakia: September 18, 2011 on JOJ
Santana: Leave Brittany alone!
This is a reference to a famous viral video defending Britney Spears that was originally released in 2007 by YouTube celebrity Chris Crocker.
Rachel: Is this real life?
This is an allusion to the youtube video "David after Dentist" in which a 7-year-old boy is extremely loopy after a surgery at the dentist's office.
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