Welp, it looks like Schue and Emma are having a baby. Thanks for not dragging that one out, Glee.
Last week's "Frenemies" laid the groundwork for what I'm assuming will be a large chunk of the rest of Glee's fifth season: Rachel and Santana battling it out over Funny Girl; McKinley's latest batch of seniors getting ready to graduate and then never go away. As an extension of the actual progress made in "Frenemies," "Trio" sort of worked. Mostly, it confirmed a lot of what we already figured would happen, even if it marked the second episode in a row that featured a ton of infighting and gross pre-commencement proclamations of eternal friendship.
In New York, Rachel continued to be an insufferable diva, but Santana really was out to screw her over.
And in Lima, Tina was highly emotional heading into graduation, and when Sue (who is my spirit animal) canceled the first annual senior lock-in because it sounded like a lawsuit waiting to happen (I mean, it sounded like a lawsuit waiting to happen) Blaine, Tina, and Sam decided to throw their own sleepover at the school because they are pathetic. Becky inexplicably showed up to crash their party, though her suicidal version of Twister actually looked like a good time in a bad way. And then Tina got to make out with Sam because that hadn't happened yet.
Oh, and Schue tried to be supportive of Emma by being a total weirdo.
Musically, we landed something from every conceivable audience age group—a healthy mix of genres plus the theme song from The Breakfast Club. (With seven songs crammed into 40-something minutes and a leering expiration date stamped on Glee's sticky, slushie-covered forehead, the need to milk that iTunes gravy train is strong with this one.)
Anyway, the onset of Blaine, Tina, and Sam's pomp and circumstance gave Schue a platform to get all schmaltzy and tell the New Directions that "these are the friendships you're gonna cherish for the rest of your life," which made me seriously question whether anyone involved with Glee actually attended high school. Like, a real one, where everyone is miserable and the only kids having a meltdown about how sad the end of high school is are the ones who know they peaked at prom. During the performance of "Don't You (Forget About Me)" all I could think about was the actual plot of The Breakfast Club and how, in reality, those kids probably never spoke to each other again come the next Monday at school.
Lord knows the ongoing drama in New York didn't make a case for high school as a breeding ground for lifelong friendships. Starchild and Kurt found themselves torn between Santana and Rachel, who really flexed their manipulation muscles in an attempt to, IDK, win Starchild's love? At one point, Rachel even told Santana that Santana needed to let Rachel have her Fanny Brice role in peace because Rachel let Santana have Kurt and the apartment. So much for best friends forever, right, Kurt? And how about the girls' implication that gay men are property? Yikes.
I'm weirdly proud of Kurt, though, and I'm not often proud or even particularly fond of Kurt. Starchild was right when he pointed out that Kurt was probably used to Rachel and Santana's drama. And he so is, but rather than watch the girls' crap ruin something he's actually rather passionate about, rather than let it ruin something he's apparently staked his future on because he never seems to be attending class or working at his Vogue internship anymore, Kurt did something kind of surprising—maybe the only surprising part of "Trio"—and started a new band with Starchild and Dani. Or, you know, Adam Lambert and Demi Lovato. Not bad, Porcelain. Not bad at all. Pamela Lansbury may be dead (this week) but from the ashes has risen One Three Hill. *sniffle* SO PROUD.
Next week, the New Directions heads to Los Angeles for Nationals. I'm so excited. I'm also giddy at the idea of Santana destroying Rachel because even though it will never ever happen, a girl's got to dream. It seemed like the leading ladies were on their way toward a teensy weensy spot of reconciliation though. That would be okay, too.
See you in L.A.! Will you be there? (You should really be there.)
– This week's Glee playlist: Will and Emma's "Danny's Song" was nice. Also, "Hold On" because you can't really go wrong with an ensemble and a montage.
– Glee actually addressed the problematic connotations of calling someone your "best gay," without being all self-righteous and awful about it.
– Emma got compared to a goat a few times during her brief fling with infertility. Will seemed very perceptive to the idea of his wife being a goat, but on the plus side, we got half a second of Schue being an actual history teacher before abandoning his class to bone the former Miss Pillsbury somewhere public enough that Becky walked in on them. They couldn't find somewhere more secluded? Amateurs.
– Oh, I get it, Will and Emma are becoming a "trio" because baby makes three. Cute.
– Nationals predictions, anyone?
AIRED ON 5/13/2014
Season 5 : Episode 20