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Will: Some of you, particularly the guys, have come up to me with some questions about Hairography. One of our own has volunteered to walk us through it. She has got it down. Brittany, take it away.
Brittany: Take what away?
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Emma: If you can't take Mohammad to the mountain, then you gotta get Mohammad to bring the mountain down. To his house. Mohammad's house, wherever he's staying. (Clears throat.)
Will: I don't understand.
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Kurt: (to Rachel on why he is giving her a makeover) You need something to distract from your horrible personality. Most of the time I find it hard to be in the same room with you. Especially this one, which looks like where Strawberry Shortcake and Holly Hobbie come to hook up.
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Quinn: Hey, what are you doing on Friday?
Puck: Just the usual...just going to stand outside the 7-Eleven looking depressed until someone offered to buy me beer, but what's going on?
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Finn: (to Rachel) I need to be honest with you, I'm--I'm really uncomfortable right now and I'm gonna say this as nicely as I possibly can, but you look like a...sad...clown...hooker.
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Puck: I'm gonna be a good dad. But I'm not gonna stop being me to do it.
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Sue: Never let anything distract you from winning.
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Mrs. Hitchens: Um, who do you think I am?
Sue: That's actually a very good question because I've forgotten both of your names.
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Kurt: I admit I like a challenge as much as the next guy, but Rachel somehow manages to dress like a grandmother and a toddler at the same time.
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Quinn: What I need right now, even more than looser pants, is acceptance.
