Glee Season 1 Episode 1

Sue: High school is a caste system. Kids fall into certain slots. Your jocks and your popular kids up in the penthouse. The invisibles and the kids playing live-action out in the forest: bottom floor.
Will: And... where do the Glee kids lie?
Sue: Subbasement.

Rachel: Being a part of something special makes you special, right?

Rachel: Look guys, these steps are not hard. I've been doing them since preschool!
Kurt: I'm sorry, did I miss the election for queen? Because I didn't vote for you.
Rachel: I know what I'm talking about. I won my first dance competition when I was three months old!

Rachel: You're very talented.
Finn: Really?
Rachel: Yeah. I would know. I'm very talented too.

Will: My passion is teaching, Terri. For the last time, I don't want to be an accountant!
Terri: Dr. Phil said people could change. It's not a bad thing to want a real life Will, and to have a glue gun that works!

Finn: I never knew my dad. He died in Iraq when we were fighting Osama bin Laden the first time.

(In response to Will monitoring detention after school)
Terri: Will, I'm on my feet four hours a day, three times a week here. Now I have to go home and I have to cook dinner for myself?

Terri: Will, if my diabetes comes back, I can't get pregnant.

Rachel: You might laugh because every time I sign my name, I put a gold star after it. But it's a metaphor. And metaphors are important.My gold stars are a metaphor. For me. Being a star.

Will: I'd like to take over Glee Club.
Principal Figgins: You want to captain the Titanic too?

(As he gets thrown into dumpster
Kurt: Please! This is from Marc Jacobs's new collection!

Will: I need to provide for my family.
Emma: But provide what exactly? The understanding that money is the most important thing, or the idea that the only life worth living is one that you're really passionate about, Will?

Tina:(After seeing Carmel High School's performance of "Rehab") We're d-d-doomed.

Principal Figgins: What is with you and this club? You've got only five kids and one of them is a cripple.

Rachel: I am not homophobic. In fact, I have two gay dads.

Rachel: You might think that all of the boys in school would want to tap this, but my MySpace schedule keeps me way too busy to date.

Rachel: Mr. Schuester, do you have any idea how ridiculous it is to give the lead solo in "Sit Down You're Rockin' the Boat" to a boy in a wheelchair?
Artie: I think Mr. Schuester is using irony to enhance the performance.
Rachel: There is nothing ironic about show choir!

Will: Possession is eight tenths of the law. I'm pretty sure that much pot is a felony.

Rachel: I can't keep wasting my time on Glee. It hurts too much.

Rachel: Now-a-days being anonymous is worse than being poor. Fame is the most important thing in our culture now. And if there is one thing I've learned it is that no one is just going to hand it to you.

Puck: Hey, what's going on?
Finn: Ah, I just... I have to miss practice Saturday afternoon. It's my mom, I gotta help her cook and ah... do things.
Puck: Why?
Finn: She just had ah.. surgery.
Puck: What kind of surgery?
Finn: Ah... well... she had to have her prostate out.
Puck: Man, that's tough break.

Sue: You think this is hard? Try being waterboarded, that's hard!

Emma: Since when are cheerleaders performers?
Sue: Your resentment is delicious.

Sue: (at cheerleader rehearsal) You think this is hard? I'm living with Hepatitis, that's hard!