If my title doesn't make any sense, that;s because it comes from the chorus of the song "Sadie Hawkins Dance" by Relient K. This song, of course, was not featured in this episode of glee. I mean I;d understand if
Relient K pulled a Kings of Leon and not so politely declined but did the glee overlords even bother to ask them? And to think this was only the beginning of problems this episode.
On a review of another glee episode, someone complained that i;m always negative about glee and if i hate i just shouldn;t watch it. A rebuttal: first of all, i;m flattered anyone actually takes the time to read my reviews, as they;re too long and are just a place to vent about glee because none of my friends still watch it and i;m too lazy to open my own blog. Second, I used to LOVE glee. I proudly own the first season which was easily the best, but since then glee has steadily gotten worse which brings us to tonight. I look at glee like a mother looks at her son who got a 2100 on his SATS yet is a pothead who dropped out of college; i see the potential and it kills me that it continues to be squandered (and yes, i do need a life. thank you for pointing that out).
this episode revolves around mckinley having its first sadie hawkins dance which was aggressively suggested by tina so she can put the moves on blaine. what is wrong with that? so. many. things.
first off, if you ever wondered who paid the least attention to the storylines of glee, and narrowed it down to the people who hate it but never watched it, the people who hate it but continue to watch it, or the people who used to love it but due to a painful and expensive process have managed to extract themselves from it, the answer would actually be the people who write the freaking show. This brings us to this week where the reason Tina wants to seduce Blaine is because he;s nice to her and she;s worried she;ll never find anyone else. This would be a little easier to swallow if we hadn;t been watching the show and knew that Tina wasn;t this sad little wallflower. She used to be, but the Tina who founded the "Too Young to be Bitter" club is also the same girl who had a relationship with a boy who gave her the courage to stop using a pretend stutter as a shield to hide behind, then dumping him for a boy whom she was in love with for two years and actually lost her virginity to! also a relationship that she chose to end. tina hasn;t even been single for the amount of time that equals the lifespan of a goldfish, and she;s already picking out her bathrobe and cats (and again, being single is her choice). What's worse is that this is only half of the problem.
That;s because this Tina is also the same girl who double teamed Mercedes to convince that pursuing Kurt as a romantic partner wasn;t a good idea because of his sexual orientation. She along with Rachel told Mercedes that she would just get hurt because she was most likely not what he was looking for. Apparently I'm the only one who remembers this because years later, Tina is choosing to ignore the fact that Blaine is much more out than Kurt was at the time, or it just doesn;t matter to her. This is because apparently her and Blaine are besties, which of course is news to anybody who watches the show. Honestly before this episode I can;t think of a scene where Tina and Blaine even spoke to each other. The fact that at the end of this episode Tina calls him the "love of her life" and Becky points out he;s gay she;s still walking on air. I liked Tina during season 1 but ever since then as her character has gotten more and more phased out she;s become more and more unpleasant. and on glee in the sea of unpleasantless when your unpleasantness stands out, that;s really saying something.
Blaine;s story makes a tiny bit more sense, where he tells Tina he turned her down not because he;s capital-G gay (to quote Brittany) but because he likes Sam. This makes a lick more sense because we;ve actually seen Blaine and Sam spend time together, Sam was the one to convince Blaine to stay at McKinley, and who wouldn't want on those froggy lips? (to quote santana).
Next on the crazy train in this episode was the usual, in the form of freaking Kitty. Because Kitty was in the Christmas episode but didn;t actually say anything, I deluded myself into thinking that this was because she actually bad about what she did to Marley and wouldn;t try to change exactly, but would stop her cold heartless ways. But no, this episode when Kitty sees Marley ask Jake to the dance (I love those two together, but I wish Marley could;ve asked him standing up as opposed to kneeling at his feet like a puppy dog) and Kitty puts the moves on Jake. This was standard heinous Kitty, BUT THEN she reveals to the elder Puckerman that she has no feelings for Jake and she;s just doing this because she;s Kitty and she can.
Oh, Glee. When you think they can;t get any lower, they get an escalator. Up until now, it had been assumed that even though we had only seen Kitty and Jake date for all of thirty seconds that she really had feelings for him and was pushing Marley to purge to get Jake back. But now we find that Kitty was so intent on forcing Marley (whom she kindly referred to this episode as "that bulimic loser") to develop an eating disorder she did everything short of forcing her own fingers down Marley;s throat just because she felt like it and she;s evil and are they serious, there;s really no other reason?! That and the fact she goes to screw the elder Puckerman in her car during the dance really makes me wish the writers of glee cared half about their characters as the fans do. And if Kitty does get a Blair-and-Dan-versus-Georgina style confrontation followed by a Jenny-Humphrey style exile before season;s end. it;ll be time to go all Lima Heights on those dumbass writers.
You;d think I;d run out of problems with this episode by now, but you;d be wrong. Next up on the crazy train is what;s happening in New York. At first we don;t see much of Rachel because she;s running around doing things with Brody while Kurt attempts to get acclimated. Then we see her anxiously waiting for Brody to come for dinner and he;s late and she yells he tells her how he would wait an eternity to ride the train that would take him to his last night with her. It;s as lame as it sounds. But then it actually manages to get worse; Rachel invites Brody to move in.
Earlier in the episode Rachel tells kurt there;s nothng like love in the big city and relationships there move faster than in high school and Kurt reminds her she wanted to get married before graduation. Yet now Rachel, who again in less the time it takes for a freaking goldfish to die was planning to spend the rest of her life with someone else is inviting someone to move in whom she;s been out with like twice and who was humping her mortal-enemy-dance-teacher barely a month ago. this is completely insane, completely out of character (remember the rachel who wanted her career to define her, not her boyfriend? apparently the writers don;t either) and is again teaching terrible lessons to the young impressionables who shouldn't be watching glee but unfortunately are.
(almost done. swearsies).
meanwhile while blaine is gazing longfully at sam, sam is going around trying to prove that the warblers cheated. this i have a problem with because glee in a competition is like taylor swift in a relationship. if it doesn;t work out (or they lose) it;s not because it wasn;t meant to be, or because someone else was simply better, it;s because the competition is EVIL and they MUST BE DESTROYED! if there;s one thing new directions can;t do, it;s lose gracefully. while i think it would be nice to see the glee club get back to their roots and discover there are things more important than winning ("we don;t care what the judges say, we won because we had you for a teacher" another forgotten season 1 gem) but also even if marley hadn;t fainted, gangnam style still would;ve been awful, awkward, and painful to watch. The Warblers were just better. And why is that? Because their hunky new leader is forcing everyone to take steroids! And who is the one to go rogue? CHUBBY WARBLER! since the warblers were first introduced, chubby warbler (whose first name is trent, but that is too douchey a name for someone that adorable) has been in the group, and he always looks to be having the most fun, and appeared the most concerned when Blaine got hurt (and was the first one to join in the Michael Jackson number). But now he;s turning on the warblers and their wicked, wicked ways! This is where I have another problem with the lessons Glee preaches because like it or not, a lot of young people do look at glee as a role model which is as bad an idea to look to taylor swift as a role model. like t-swift preaches that all brown-haired girls are whores who steal boyfriends from special snowflakes like you, glee preaches that if you lose a competition, it;s because the other team cheated, heaven forbid it be because they just happen to be better.
I made the mistake of looking forward to the return from the winter hiatus of glee, and they let the few fans they have left down. even by glee standards.