After the Cheerios perform an extravagant routine – complete with BMX bikers, blue smurf wigs, sexy moves, and fire twirling – choreographed to Katy Perry's bubbly "California Gurls," all Sue Sylvester can say is that she's bored. The usual blame and abuse of her squad ensues and Quinn concludes that Sue needs to figure out how to top herself in order to be inspired again.
Meanwhile, the Titans are heading to the state championship for the first time in years, thanks to Coach Beast's effective leadership. Out on the field, Finn congratulates his team for their hard work and calls the next play. But David (the closeted homosexual who bullied Kurt) makes a joke implying Finn's gay for being in the Glee club. Finn shoots back he's tired of the gay jokes and wonders why he never seems to have a girlfriend, which then instigates David to make a threat he won't block for him on the field. As a result, Finn blows the play. Back in the locker room, Beast is furious that the team blew the game.
Alone in her office, Sue writes in her journal, lamenting her lack of inspiration. She's been seeking out new thrills and we learn she recently got a large back tattoo of her own name and image (unfortunately, the tattoo artist spells her last name "Syvlester "– oops). When she sees a cannonball in the old Felix the Cat cartoon playing on her TV, she gets that spark in her eye.
The next day she's out on the playfield testing a human cannonball launcher for the big half-time show. She's thrilled when she sees the cannonball's inhabitant fly through the field goal and land in the net.
Distraught of her crumbling team, Beast turns to Mr. Schue. Will comes up with a plan he hopes will help bring unity back to her team. He decides to have Beast force the team to participate in the Glee club for a week. Just when the Glee members of the team are about to rumbles with the rest of the football players over their egregious slushing of Arty, Beast makes the announcement. Then Puck and Rachel sing TK, which seems to impress the jocks. But then one of them provokes Puck with the taunt, "the girl with the Mohawk has a really nice voice," and a fight almost breaks out.
Puck approaches Finn to apologize for all the ways he's wronged him. He suggests that if they reform their bro-lliance, the two could bring the team back together and go on to win the state competition, which Puck desperately wants to do.
Sue casts a pall of fright on the Cheerios when she presents them the cannonball launcher with the word, "Ladies, my Sue-clear weapon." Poor Brittney is Sue's choice for human missile. Brittney whimpers that she doesn't want to die, at least not until One Tree Hill gets cancelled. Quinn tells Brittney not to worry, she'll get Schue to fix it.
Cut to the principal's office, in which Figgins tells Sue there's no way she can perform a stunt so dangerous. Sue storms out and trashes her office to the modern symphonic pice, Carmena Burana by Carl Orff. She then moves on to destroying the football locker room. Misdirecting her vengeance onto the team, she moves the regional cheerleading competition to the same day as state. Since the Cheerios have traditionally been the reason fans show up to football games, yanking them from the event will effectively ruin the game for the Titans. Beast thinks they're screwed, until Schue comes up with another master plan. He wants the Glee club (including the entire football team) to perform a half-time event more compelling than the Cheerios – Michael Jackson's "Thriller." With only a week before the big game, it's off to zombie camp for everyone.
Things actually go well at zombie rehearsal, and David proves to be talented. He and Finn agree to work on a good warm-up routine so that the half-time show will dominate, and Schue's plan seems to be working … until Finn and Quinn get into an argument over whether the Cheerios will stick with Glee or go to regionals. Sam piles on by suggesting maybe he should be the new team and club leader because Finn hasn't made any headway in bringing the two closer together.
Reflecting Finn's disappointment in Quinn, the boys sing "She's Not There" by the Zombies in zombie makeup. Schue loves it. Cut to c slo-mo scene of the boys cruising the halls until another team entirely shows up to slushy them for being sissy kids in Glee. David decides he's had enough and wants to quit Glee, which causes Beast to threaten him off the team. Finn thinks they could win it all if they would just stick together and nail the half-time routine, but David walks out – effectively quitting both club and team.
Over at Dalton, the Warblers rehearse Destiny's Child "Pay My Bills." Their harmonies are amazing, and it proves that a cally feminine song can be masculine. They are definitely ready for regionals. The Warblers meet with Rachel and Mercedes for coffee to catch up. Turns out none of the football players want to stick with Glee. Either Beast allows them to play or she will have to forfeit the game – until the Glee girls step up and offer to join the team so that they have enough players. They intend to just lay on the field so they won't get hurt.
Sue is still pressuring Brittney to get in the canon, and even though she's frightened, she lets Sue talk her into it.
It's game day, and the girls take the field with the guys. It's not going well, except when Tina makes a run with the ball and gets brutally sacked. Finn decides the only redemption left is a killer half-time show. Finn decides to have Sam play QB for the second half while he goes to convince the Cheerios to stick with Glee before they leave for their regional competition. The girls tell Sue they quit Cheerios. Puck finds his former teammates in the locker room and tries to convince them to change their minds about performing half-time. All except David agree to do it because they want to win the game.
It's finally half-time, and the group performs a mash up of "Thriller" and "Heads Will Roll," by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. The show is awesome, the crowd loves it, and David is compelled to join them on the field. After half-time, the team is euphoric and Beast allows all of them to play in the second half. Time for the Titans to kick butt and win this thing. Thanks to team work, they do.
Everyone's happy, except Sue. Special Guest Katie Couric appears to interview Sue for Loser of the Year, which she was named after blowing her chance of winning another regional competition for the seventh year in a row. Couric reveals that the Cheerio's budget is going to Glee.
Finn tries to get David to stick with Glee permanently but he has to make things right with Kurt first. David insists he has no interest in joining Glee permanently. Then Quinn thanks Finn for convincing her to do the right thing and she kisses him.